...So, If I'm offended by the masterbation post...?

Will JavaHR be asked to leave? The whole post offended me. The post itself was more egregious than anything Don ever said.


  • 45 Comments sorted by Votes Date Added
  • No, JavaHR will be hailed as an honest and sincere poster and you will be told to ignore it. You will be told that 'thick skin' is not required on this forum; however, you should not read things that offend you. (Duh! As if?)

  • National Guard,

    I'm sorry you were offended by the post -- it made me squeamish as well.

    But there's an immensely important difference between an offensive [b]topic[/b] and offensive [b]language[/b]. Almost every post we delete is because the language was abusive or otherwise inapproprite.

    The topic of masturbation can be offensive, but it's a legitimate HR issue that has been written about in many of our Employment Law Letters. And the discussion of that issue in Java's thread was generally mature and professional.

    But if anyone, including Java, sunk into the gutter to use crude or tasteless language, we would've removed that post.

    James Sokolowski
  • Now we differ, James. I didn't have a problem with his topic or his language. I had the impression he stalked and waited, by his own admittance, and at an opportune moment he blurted without discretion a topic that would intentionally raise the hair on some necks, knowing full well that some would buy in to the legitimacy of his workplace quandary. He further said he was in HR for a long time, which even an HR person with half a brain could have handled that one.

    When Don, others and I expressed what we thought of his idiotic scam and obvious attempt to shock people thus his claim to fame in his own mind, we got deleted and he got glorified. Then he ran crying to MLS recruiting you all to throw your shield in front of him.

    But in your defense, there's no way to keep fakes off the forum. But you must protect them from being identified.
  • Where's JavaHR now? Disappeared. Poof. Gone. Vanished.
  • you left out deleted, and/or editted,
  • Good point, but what I wonder is where are all the complainers? I have not seen one post from those people supporting this move.
  • ...and you won't. The problem was not with participant complainers but those employed by M Lee Smith. Don always called a spade a spade. He usually did it privately, but not always. Brad even referred to himself as The CEO, revealing their real understanding of customer service. As was pointed out when they booted over half the participants last year, they forgot who the customer is. This was nothing more than a move to placate the employees.

  • >Where's JavaHR now? Disappeared. Poof. Gone.

    No, I am not gone. I just got on the forum after a week off. I had no idea any of this was happening. I did not complain to HR Hero about Don. Most of you saw the post I made proclaiming my legitimacy and intent. That was the only complaint I made.
    I think Don's advice overall was helpful on every other posted question I have read.
    Yes, I felt ridiculed for my "masturbation post" and did not like the fact that I was posed as a fraud or thrill seeker. But, that was not all from Don. His final advice on the situation was clear and helpful.

  • Funny how things always come back full circle! Where's JAVAHR now? I have a theory...We'll call it the AluminumBoy phenomenon.
  • Full circle? More like a straight line when Java HR ran for the nearest exit after being ridiculed and berated for posting a legitimate HR question. She hasn't been back for a long time, and I don't blame her.

    In contrast, SteelBoy/AluminumBoy went out of his way to stir up controversy - and succeeded.

    James Sokolowski
  • [font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 01-26-06 AT 10:55AM (CST)[/font][br][br]Still here.... amazed each and every day.
    And waiving a white flag....
  • Good to see you again, Java. I'm glad you proved me wrong. x:-8

    James Sokolowski
  • Over the past several months I've noticed three things:

    1. The migration of some excellent people out of the forum. Good bye and good luck.

    2. The addition of some excellent people to the forum. Welcome!

    3. The return of some excellent people back to the forum. Welcome back!
  • Well, I'll be! I was wrong about Java all along. I apologize for lumping you into the same category as AluminumBoy. He tried to come over to The HR Forum and start controversy except that I called him out so hard he was begging for salvation.
  • [font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 01-28-06 AT 08:32PM (CST)[/font][br][br]People just want to ask questions and get advice. Maybe share a joke or a recipe. They should be able to do that without someone giving them a hard time.

    Edit: I removed comments I made out of frustration which greatly reduced this post.

  • Let's see Paul, no, I don't take these forums too seriously. However, I'm glad to know that you're tolerant of those who come on-line, impersonate someone and generally create chaos.

    I have not "hassled" you in any way. I have confronted you. There is a distinct difference. Wait, hang on, I did jump the gun once about your good-night comment. I am sorry if you were being sincere. I made a mistake.

    You also mentioned me calling you names. I called you a coward one time for your post about "great to be back". It takes courage to be honest. Not only with yourself but others. Let's call a spade a spade. If you cannot appreciate brutal honesty then maybe you're in the wrong place.

    What drama? The only drama on the table is the one you bring. Who was being the drama queen with your knee-jerk reaction comment that I was somehow insinuating that you and James are gay cowboys?!?!?!?!? Talk about drama! Want more drama? Reread this thread.

    I suppose using your twisted rationale, I should somehow feel offended that you just participated in the same behavior that you are denouncing. After all, you did call me a name. But you know what? I don't care.

    Last but not least. I will post whenever and wherever I feel like. Who do you think you are telling me where I can and cannot post?

  • Ok.... I wanna go on record... I did not start this one either!!!! Ha Ha! Still waiving my white flag....
  • "I apologize for lumping you into the same category as AluminumBoy."

    I am not sure who AluminumBoy is... but Thanks!
  • AluminumBoy was a paper bully with lots of bluster and not much else. He was short lived.
  • would still like to know FOR SURE who the hell s/he was. . AluminumBoy that is . .
  • >Well, I'll be! I was wrong about Java all
    >along. I apologize for lumping you into the
    >same category as AluminumBoy. He tried to come
    >over to The HR Forum and start controversy
    >except that I called him out so hard he was
    >begging for salvation.

    But - doesn't this go against the principle behind the founding of The HR Forum? That is, allowing members to have their say, pretty much regardless of what it is they have to say and who they want to say it to? Isn't this why a faction of this forum broke off and formed The HR Forum, so that they could exercise their freedom of speech? I thought controversy was accepted and encouraged on The HR Forum, as are individual points of view. Discouraging AluminumBoy from participating in The HR Forum seems to run counter to this principle.

  • Before you jump to any conclusions, do a search on alumboy. Maybe, maybe you will understand. Perhaps not.
  • Remember, he first came in as Steelboy. He changed to aluminum boy when he became kinder and gentler.
  • Ahh yes. Was he actually an "imposter" as some have said?
  • To all who seem to suddenly defend SteelBoy/AluminumBoy, etc, etc specifically his banishment from The HR Forum I may suggest gathering your facts before you speak.

    Yes, The HR Forum was founded on the principle of free speech, self-policing and a more liberal approach to professional discussions. When SteelBoy appeared on the scene, all he did was attack the profession while making himself out to be some high-level HR guru. He was called-out based on the information provided when I demanded that he give us his credentials to make such outrageous comments. Once his anonimity was blown, it was no longer fun for him to participate. He and I had a frank discussion on the phone and we decided to end our relationships.

    I have a lot of respect for him and his accomplishments. He is everything he claimed to be but for whatever reason decided to simply cause chaos.

  • Gene, so you never figured out his motivation for what he was doing?
  • I will opine if I may. I think he was trying to get HR folks to look at HR a different way. Most of the posts were overblown there is no doubt, but the core was real. There are so many HR paper pushers that drain the life out of an organization. There are also overly cautious folks that will not confront anything. I think he made some folks really look at themselves and their organization at it pissed 'em off. I think he also just plain made people uncomfortable because of his confrontational style.

    His credentials would surprise you. You've read about some very successful folks that are just down the hall.
  • I agree with Smace. Not only is this gentleman in an absolutely top-notch company (actually, it was one of the companies profiled in Good to Great), but his personal credentials are impeccable.

    I could not have decribed his motive better than Smace did. People in general, especially on this and other on-line forums do not like brutal, honest, in-your-face confrontation. What the gentleman known as SteelBoy did was he pushed people out of their comfort zones and made them take a look at themselves, their roles within their organizations and the profession as a whole.

    Now, having said all of that, his delivery could have been a bit more diplomatic.
  • Interesting. I disagree that people don't like honest confrontation. I don't think anyone objects to a strong argument, clearly stated, backed up by more than a personal opinion. We are here to discuss and learn, right?

    What people like me object to and rightly so is the unneccessary and distracting comments that focus on the person who has posted and not on the issue.

    People use the term "brutal honesty" as an excuse for poor manners and a general lack of respect for others.

    Honesty doesn't need to be brutal if what you are saying has merit. A lot of people will be discouraged from posting if they feel they are going to be shredded by someone being "brutally honest". That kind of behavior goes against what forums like this are all about.

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