EE's affair

marina · April 2008

Good morning. I need help with a situation I have never faced before in my short experience as HR: a female ee of ours has been having an affair for 6 months with the husband of another ee who just found out about it. Our doctors (this is a surgical facility wirh 9 surgeons on staff) are saying fire the culprit which is easier said than done.
I would really appreciate some help from the experts. Thanks so much.
Marina

NeedCoffee · April 2008

Ugh. This is not a fun situation. You are right, it's easier said than done. My advice would be to take the stance of: this happened outside the office, and you really can't do anything about it until it starts affecting work at the office.

If these two cannot work together (which is likely), then you have a legitimate business reason for terminating one of them, but I would follow your normal disciplinary policy when work problems start cropping up.

Good luck on this, and keep us posted!

marina · April 2008

Thanks for your in put. The part I have a aproblem with is that if we let either one or both go they will be able to draw unemployment. in other words we'll reward one of them for bringing disruption in someone else's life and to the facility.
Although NC is an "At will" state, could we fire the ee in question without fear of a law suit?

Paul in Cannon Beach · April 2008

I think you need to SLOW WAY DOWN first.

You are talking about terminating an employee for an alleged affair, correct? First off, I am assuming this is all hearsay. Secondly, how does the alleged affair justify terminating the employee?

You certainly have a morale issue and its likely that you may need to ensure that these two employees are able to work together and straighten out their personal mess. But I think it would be unwise to start firing employees for alleged personal disputes.

Does your workplace have an ethics policy or moral clause? If not, I think you need to follow the first poster's advice.

marina · April 2008

Thanks Payl. This is a sure fact because the husband confessed to the wife. She confronted the culprit ee who confirmed. This makes it a sure fact in my book. So what do I if both ees tell me ( I have a mtg with them tomorrow am) that there is no way they can work together? Do I give her/them a choice to resign or can I threaten to dismiss?
As I said the Drs here want both of them out.
Whata mess!!!! Thanks

ray a · April 2008

Marina, what is the exact reason for termination? What company policy or law have they broken? Has it affected their job performance? Your bigger problem may be those who want them fired without justifiable cause.

Dutch2 · April 2008

I do not see how you could fire either of them "without fear of a law suit"? Anyone can file suit for just about anything at anytime. Having to pay unemployment may be an easy out. Do you have a corporate policy that addresses such matters? We had a similar situation a few years back. Our attorneys recommended that we simply follow our performance policies with them same as anyone else. As long as their relationship did not hamper their job performace or give the perception of discrimination in the work areas, what business does the er have telling an ee what they can do with their private time.
Good luck.

NeedCoffee · April 2008

I still think you need to wait until something happens that violates your company's policies. Then, you are terminating FOR CAUSE and unemployment is much less likely. If you are terminating to appease the hire-ups, then they need to be prepared to pay unemployment. If that's something they are willing to do, then by all means do it. Give them the facts about terminating now versus terminating when you actually have some facts under your belt, and let them decide.

cnghr · April 2008

Okay, so if I understand the situation correctly, Employee A had an affair with Employee B's husband. What I don't understand is why anyone would even be talking about firing Employee B. Isn't she the wronged party in this situation? I mean, unless she comes in to work one day and beats up Employee A or pulls a weapon on her or something, why should she be punished for the acts of her husband and her co-worker?

As far as firing Employee A goes, I agree with those who say you should wait and see if something happens that violates company policies. Could be now that all of this is out in the open, the problem will solve itself by one of the employees quitting because the situation is just too uncomfortable.

marina · April 2008

Thanks so much to all of you. This has been so helpful for me. Thanks again and I will let the forum know how this will go.
Ciao. Marina

ritaanz · April 2008

Can't we just take the husband out to the back forty and shoot him? He start this mess ( if it were employee A that did the seducing, he could have said SCRAM) and now he has the guilts and confesses.

Now what. Employee B has several questions and problems she must deal with, none of which are the employer's dilemma. If she decides to make it a go with El Creepo, she will probably get a job at another facility to get away from Lady Lust. Or, she can decide they deserve each other and make life miserable for employee B. More than likely, if you have the patience, this too shall pass.

TheCol · April 2008

Sorry I got in a little too late, it seems. Not mentioned is if the two ee's are in the same supervisory chain; both nurses, both front desk, etc. Big problem in this case, someone has to move. Elso, absent a fraternization policy in the employee manual, the level of disruption at the work place, by whom, and how much would govern, as I see it.
The Colonel

stilldazed · April 2008

I agree with the posters who side with the idea that except for having two disgruntled workers sharing the same work space, you don't seem to have a work issue--unless either or both of them are not doing their jobs because of their conflict, interfering with the work of others, or causing sexually harassing or hostile work environments.

If they just don't like each other, they're just like any other two coworkers who don't like each other. One will probably leave.

Otherwise, stick with your facts, keep yourself focused on their work activities and how they impact the work environment for themselves and others, consider their influence on others' work environments by spreading their disgruntlement, and I don't exactly see reason to fire anyone. If you find them interfering with each others work or the work of others, you have every right to step in and put a stop to that, but I would think that that is hardly grounds for discharge.

Just in case you have a policy that prohibits workers from having affairs with coworkers' spouses, you have evidence and can prove the affair, and can prove you trained or warned the lustful lady that her coworker's husband is off limits, you can discharge LL without much risk of unemployment, but somehow I just don't think you have a policy like that. I'm not sure anyone does, and if they did it should probably be reconsidered based on the idea that it infringes too much on workers private lives.

best wishes

System · April 2008

Since you are sure of the situation, my advice is to immediately take preventative action by meeting with both individuals and reviewing your dating policy (if you have one) as well as your harassment policy. We have what we call a "dating waiver" that includes amorous behavior in the workplace language. We review that document with employees and have them sign it periodically during the course of their employment with the company. Good luck!

cnghr · April 2008

Tere, the issue here was not two employees having an affair, it was one employee having an affair with the spouse of another employee. The cheating spouse is not an employee of the company. So any policies regarding dating wouldn't apply in this situation, since the man involved was only connected to the company by the fact that his wife worked there.

marina · April 2008

Hallo everyone. Thanks again for all the in put. This am I had a mtg with "Jezebel" and the office manager of that location. The ee said she would not have a problem staying on, although being obviously shunned by everyone else. After explaining the legal part of the situation, I told her that I would highly recommend for her to look for another job. We would pay her for all the PTO hrs she has and we would also give the good references she deserves because, besides this terrible fact, she has always been an excellent ee. She said she'll think about it and give an answer monday.
I had just returned to my office( 2 hours later) when the office manager of that facility called me to tell me that after she came back from lunch she descovered the ee's office empty and her desk cleared of all personal effects.
So perhaps she is out of here. But thanks again for the help. This has been definitely an experience!!
Marina

NeedCoffee · April 2008

Marina - I'm a bit of a devil's advocate on this forum, so I wanted to bring this up. Did you ever think that by "highly recommending" she find another job, the EE actually took that as a veiled dismissal? And, since you said all those nice things about her, perhaps she felt you were firing her because of activities outside the workplace...if I were you, I would have my ducks in a row in case you get a phone call from a lawyer. Have witnesses to the conversation write down exactly what was said by all parties as a "CYA."

Good luck, and I hope this works out for your company.

sonny · April 2008

I agree with NeedCoffee.
she may be out of there, but am not sure you have heard the last of her. Hope I am wrong.

marina · April 2008

Thanks "Coffee" for the suggestion. I have everything documented and I do have 2 witnesses to the conversation.
Please note that this ee is going thru a nasty divorce
with a husband whom she caught doing the same she is being doing: the only difference is that the woman he picked was not a collegue's wife.
As a woman, I am deeply ashamed to have this idiot on my staff: but of course this is my personal feeling.
I'll see what Monday will bring.
Thanks

EE's affair

Comments