Touching at Work
Tony Kessler
409 Posts
Is touching at work more prevalent during the recession (pats on the back, hugs of encouragement, etc.)? In HR, is there ever a time when you would let down your guard and put your hand on an employee's shoulder? How do you deal with EE "touchers" who touch too much and "touchees" who complain? Today's Wall Street Journal has interesting article on the subject: "Touching You, Touching Me -- at Work." Here is a link. tk
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Comments
Our CEO is a touchy feely guy, especially with women... I am the last person to think someone is being inappropriate with me, but there have been times that he went too far - like after saying how nice I look, don't pat me down like a prison guard.
I'm not a proponent of random touching at work but it is sad that people have to be afraid of a lawsuit when they are merely being empathetic or sympathetic.
That said, I'm one of those "human-resources types" mentioned in the article and I do advise employees to keep their hands to themselves at work simply because it is easy for things to be misconstrued. So far we've never had any complaints about employees who touch too much and I don't think there's been an increase in touching during more difficult economic times. Usually workplace touching around here is limited to hugs of congratulations on the news of engagements or expected babies, or when someone experiences a death in the family, but even that sort of thing seems to be kept to a minimum.
Not that anyone here is probably surprised by that. I try to keep it under control, though.
“I work with myself and can only touch myself ... which has its pluses and minuses,” says Todd Adler, an equities trader in Fort Lauderdale, Fla.
Nice job Todd. I am sure that line went over well with the other equity traders you know.
Ok, seriously. I am not a toucher but I think its ridiculous to completely ban touching entirely. People generally know the difference between a "good touch" and a "bad touch".
Lets say a co-worker just found out that a good friend died. Another co-worker is consoling him and they briefly hug. Are you going to walk up and chide them for touching. Its ludicrous.
People who are that militant about touching are probably missing part of their humanity all around. Less than an hour later, that same VP reamed me again because the wife of an employee who was hospitalized with a stroke came in to thank me for helping her complete his insurance, FMLA, and disability forms. The VP told me she'd have to document the fact that I had obviously provided HIPAA-protected information to the wife.
An hour after that, I was telling the VP and my district HR director to shove it.
But if he were to ever give out the recipe, I'm afraid the issue would go from one of "workplace touching" to "workplace violence."
He'd tell us, but ...
Is it worth the 3 hour trip from Memphis to get a slice of cake? Since I am not a co-worker I could even give him a hug. O:)
p.s. Holly, how did we end up talking about chocolate cake?
:back to topic:
With the possibility of getting shunned, I will have to agree with PICB. (you don't know how bad it hurts to say that). Our society has become so litigious that we are afraid to be ourselves and to react with empathy and/or sympathy, and to be consoling when necessary. We do not live in sterile environments. Humans thrive on "touch". If we would treat each other with respect these types of policies would not be necessary.
OK, I'm down off the soapbox now.
I'm not a touchy-feely kind of person and try to keep a wide personal space around me, but there are just times when I've been in a situation that warranted giving a hug to someone who was distraught at work or a literal pat on the back to an employee who had reached an achievement of some kind. Or, even a touch on the arm to the bully who been knocked down by an even bigger bully.
There is really no way to keep emotions out of the workplace and, frankly, the people I've encountered that never showed an emotion were a bit scary to me. Emotions are part of our genetic makeup and if repressed too much eventually explode. For example - road rage, going postal, etc.
Joann, I agree with you that we've become too much of a litigious society. I sat in a room yesterday afternoon in the middle of a real estate deal gone bad. The folks who were to buy my house had backed out and didn't show up for closing. The folks whose house I was to buy were threatening to sue them and me and my realtor, etc. It got ugly. Fortunately, we were at my attorney's office and she wisked me out of the middle of it, gave me a hug, and sent me home. I'm sure it will all work out because he doesn't have grounds to sue anyone, but he did seem to enjoy blustering about making the threats. But, the point is that my attorney didn't hesitate to give me a hug. She is a decent human being and I appreciate her all the more for it. Looking back, it was kind of funny though. There we were, this tiny, tiny lawyer giving me, a big ole girl, a hug then going back in there to straighten out the 6'3" bully. Gotta admire her.
So, I say going around hugging on everybody you meet is not a good thing, but showing compassion in a moment when someone is obviously in distress or in celebration is definitely a good move.
Just my two cents.
Sharon
P.S. It's no accident that these cute little guys -
*Not jambalaya