How does someone completely and totally disappear from an island the size of my neighborhood? It still freaks me out that people can just disappear like that. No witnesses, no clues, no nothing. I hope one of those guys rolls on the others and fesses up. No family should go through this.


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  • [font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 06-10-05 AT 02:48PM (CST)[/font][br][br]I have a baby daughter and stories like this one scare me. This young lady was a straight A student, member of the school's Honor Society, etc. She knew better than to leave with strangers. I can't imagine how I will get through my daughter's teenage years. The thought of dating, prom, etc. is giving me an ulcer already. I have told my wife that any prospective suitor better be ready, I plan to use all the investigation techniques I have used over the years to make young men's lives a living h*** when they show up at my door. Have also thought about starting a ritual of cleaning my gun on Friday evening about 7:00. When my daughter is old enough to date, she will not know the difference. To her, it is something I always do. To her date, it will send a different message! x:D
  • Wait till she's 30 and then tells you all of the ways they got around the rules, when she first had sex, drank hard liquor, etc.

    If you knew that stuff contemporaneously, you would chain them to the radiator and lock them in the closet!#-o
  • >Wait till she's 30 and then tells you all of the
    >ways they got around the rules, when she first
    >had sex, drank hard liquor, etc.

    Oh, you don't have to wait that long. My 22-yr old is telling me stuff now that I'd rather not know. What's worse is when they laugh when they tell you. What's so funny a year later?

    The missing young woman, and her family, is in my prayers.

    Cheryl C.
  • This brought back memories of when my younger daughter graduated from high school and went to Cancun with 4 other girls. I was a nervous wreck the whole time she was gone, but fortunately, they all stuck together and no one went anywhere without the group. Then I worried about both daughters during their college years. Now they are both married and have their own children. Do parents EVER stop worrying about their kids?

  • The Grandfather and Step Grandmother live here in the greater Nashville area. In fact, the Step Grandmother is the contract administrator for one of our client companies and I have contact with her on at least a weekly basis. The devastation that the family is going through right now is indescribable. Please keep this family in your thoughts.
  • For HRinFL: Your plan will not work. Moving the gun case into the family room will be sufficient. If you do what you plan, you'll wake up one day, when she's a senior in high school and wonder why boys rarely came to the house, why she always left with the girls, or alone, why she so often spend the night 'out'. Find a way to make all the kids, including the boys, welcome at your house. The way you look into their eyes will be message enough. You cannot keep snakes totally out of your yard. Nor can you keep a butterfly in a jar.
  • I agree. Well said, indeed. Fortunately, we did make friends with our daughters' "intendeds" when they were in high school. They were included in family events and each had a stocking on the mantle. They dated all through college, became engaged right beforegetting their degrees, and got married after they graduated and got jobs. Then, as icing on the cake, after about 5 years they each gave me two adorable grandchildren. I say a prayer of thanks every day that we have been so very lucky.

  • I totally agree with you, thus the smiley face after the comment. I truly believe you need to know your kids and know their friends. When I was growing up, my friends and I would always hang out at our house. A few bags of chips, a movie, and some sodas are a small price to pay for peace of mind when it comes to your kids. I would hang out at friend's houses too, but my parents always had the number, had met the parents, etc.

    Whenever we all went out, my parents knew where I was. If there was ever a problem, I knew I could call them and they would be there in a minute. If I got in trouble, the punishment was never as bad as knowing I had let my parents down. That is the type of relationship I hope to have with my kids. I would always think twice because I knew that if I got in trouble, my parents would be disappointed. I want my kids to do the same thing. There are always going to be times when kids make bad decisions, as a parent, I know it is the way I respond that will determine if I can build that trust or if I push them away. I also undestand that my kids also have to earn that trust. I have always been able to talk to my parents and have always received solid advice. What a blessing that has been. Fortunately, it should help me in my endeavors, I certainly had the right role models.
  • The suggestions of Don and lhill are good ones. Know who their friends are and do your best to welcome them. If you've done that all along, chances are they've grown to choose decent friends. There is no fool proof method, but parents need to "stay close to the enemy" in order to calculate it's moves. Now and then a child or teen wiggles out from under protection. The best you have then is to love them through it.
  • Any bets on how long it will take for the family to sue the school distrcit for negligent supervision? The ratio of chaperones to students was something like 1:18. How can one person reasonably supervise the activities of 18 graduating seniors? I know that this tragic incident can't be completely pinned on that fact, but come on, do they really think these kids were being properly supervised (protected), especially in a foreign country? I see a field day for the attorneys.
  • This rant is not directed at you VP, but at the thought of your post, which will probably happen.

    If our judicial system were to allow for something like this to move forward, I will probably denounce my citizenship and move to Belize. This is exactly what is wrong with our country today. We stopped holding people accountable for their own actions and behaviors and are always searching for the next party to blame.

    I am sorry that this terrible tragedy has befallen this young lady and her family. But make no mistake about it, her behavior was foolish. I'm sure that as a rising college freshman, she went through the date rape awareness, etc, etc. I will certainly bet that the chaperones conducted safety awareness meetings and do's/dont's. Yet, she allowed herself to get in a situation where she left a bar at 1:30 a.m., with three complete strangers by car? What do you want to bet that at least on one ocassion, one of the chaperones said "do not go out drinking by yourselves and leave with unknown males"?

    May the families have a blessed day for the grief that the daughter's foolishness will bring.

  • You are absolutley right in pointing out that her follishness and poor judgement were the ultimate factor in this tradgedy. However, not knowing all the facts, I can't help but wonder how this girl could have been allowed to be in that situation to begin with. What if someone slipped her a date-rape type drug and she was unable to think rationally? Where were the others in her group? Why wasn't someone there to say "what the hell are you doing leaving with these strangers? where are you going?" If this was your daughter, wouldn't you expect that the chaparones be responsible for preventing this exact sort of circumstance - a teenage girl in a bar at 1:30 in the morning, leaving with strangers, and NO ONE can offer an explanation of who these guys were and why they were allowed to take her from the establishement absolutely unchallenged. I fail to see your anger at the thought of someone being held accountable for protecting a teenager on a supervised trip sponsored by the school. Why have chaparones at all if you expect perfect judgement and clear thinking out of a bunch of teenagers.
  • I believe the girl was 18 and graduated from high school. By most standards an adult. Not to mention, she was there with the permission and probably funding from her parents. Who is anyone kidding thinking that 18 year olds who have just graduated from high school are going to be "supervised" by anyone. Yes, one does have to wonder where all these friends and chaperones were. Maybe they were there. Maybe they did try to stop her and she blew them off. Maybe that's why it was reported she left with the 3 suspects because somebody sure saw that to tell it. Who knows? But if the family were to try to sue the chaperones for their daughter's seemingly willing actions, then that would be almost as big a shame and what her fate has probably been. A sad and tragic thing all around. But it happens everywhere, in every country, and more than we hear about. We all need to be very aware of our surroundings and to teach our kids that there are mean people and mean things in this world and they absolutely have to be careful and protect themselves as much as they can; including not putting themselves into situations that put them at higher risk.
  • You know, I did some pretty stupid stuff on my senior trip, but at least I was with my friends when I did it. And we all shared a hotel room. Where were her girlfriends? How come NOBODY noticed she was gone until later that morning at the airport? How sad is that? Didn't she have a roomate? Why would she be in the hotel room alone? The best part of the trip is sharing a room with all your girlfriends.
    With all that said however, the person(s) who did something to her are to blame. Even if she made a bad decision or was drugged, it looks like she paid the ultimate price. How can those boys live with themselves? (assuming they are guilty) How can they just sit there and be quiet?
  • If I am not mistaken, the news accounts early on established the fact that this was not a school-sanctioned activity, but the result of parents deciding to take up money and sponsor this trip. I would think that school districts are smart enough these days NOT to sanction or sponsor such events and to distance themselves from these activities.

    To another post asking about a roommate; Really now, how many of your or my classmates can we think of who would have interceded when one of us was trying to 'hook up' after partying? Zero. We didn't have a term like 'hooking up' to denote what the intention was, but it was the same thing. Imagine how somebody would have been ostracized had they tried to intercede after a night of partying if one of us had left with a girl or a boy or strangers for that matter.

    But, here we go trying to run the blame-train and scatter the responsibility just like 'we' do when kids turn into delinquents.
  • So what are you saying? Sh*t happens, she was stupid and irresponsible and no one is to blame but her? I don't care if she was 35 years old - I still question how a group as large as their's (approx 120) could just watch her waltz out of a bar with not one, but three, perfect strangers from a foriegn country and not one person has been able to say they attempted to intervene. If we don't question how such a thing occurs, how do we attempt to prevent it from happening again?
  • If I remember correctly, she had been partying with the Dutch dude for several nights and she probably blurted out that he was dropping her at her hotel. You have to remember, SHE too was from a foreign country. It's not as if everybody has an obligation to protect the blue-eyed blonde American girl. I assume people were hooping and hollering, coming and going, carefree, drunked-up, slinging off their sandals and shimmying under the bar to the sound of drums and the whif of dope. Hindsight is a clever invention. The main problem here now with this thing is the apparent 'pass' the son of the judicial official got early on.
  • This will turn into a political mess. Failure to solve the crime will significantly impact the tourism trade. An image of renegade islanders causing harm to a white American honor student will have far reaching implcations. I had not heard of the "pass" the officals son recieved, but that will surely muddy the waters even more. This whole thing is appearing to have "cover up" written all over it. What a sad and tragic event.
  • The father of one of the three boys is either a high-judge or a prominent judicial official in some capacity on the island. I assume it's the Dutch boy since the other two are brothers and the news has continually said ONE of them has a father in that position. Now they say that justice is sure and promised regardless of who he is. We shall see. The news also has consistently reported that upwards of 75% of the economy is tourist driven. We will see if the ass of one young boy is more valuable than a whole island's economy. There must be nothing more terrible than losing one's child. I could not survive that.
  • Speaking from experience, you would be surprised how fast and easily someone can totally disappear from any location. It only takes seconds. Personally, I beat the odds to be alive. One of our employees had a young son who disappeared walking from a friend's house to his own - about 1/2 a block and about 8 minutes. That was two years ago and they still have found no trace. The employee, his father, died from the stress a few months ago.

    I'm sorry for her family, but I think she was extraordinarily foolish to go off on her own with strangers in a foreign country. As to whether her friends or the chaperones should have intervened, my guess is the "chaperones" were not in the vicinity and the "friends" either blew her off or there was something else going on there. I don't expect they will find her alive, if they ever find her.
  • The Dutch boy's father, a prominent and powerful judge on the island, has this morning begun filing a variety of papers to the court, including one requesting that the boy's attorney be removed. It will be interesting to see if someone in the system, in the interest of credibility, admonishes the man to butt out and recuse himself from involvement.
  • The U.S. Department of State needs to get involved, move for a change in jurisdiction, have the investigation turned over to U.S. Federal authorites, move the Dutch bastard, his dad and the other two retard accomplices to Guantanamo Bay and proceed to extract the friggin' truth out of them.

    If this fails, President Bush needs to order an immediate economic (including tourism) embargo until we start getting some answers. That beach search yesterday was the most pathetic exercise in futility I have ever seen. It was a token move to show everyone how much they're "trying".

  • OK, I'm trying to revive this thing. Hmm, I just read a shocker on CNN. The Dutch bastard's dad (the judge) is in custody and charged as a suspect. Hmm, what a revelation! Meanwhile the FBI is on the scene and has taken over parts of the investigation.

    I have a theory. The girl somehow dies/OD's/whatever while in the company of the Dutch bastard. He panics, gets scared, leaves her at the lighthouse or deserted beach. He gets home and realizes that he left her with eveything from his hair and semen to fingerprints. He freaks and tells Daddy the judge.

    Daddy the judge gets him and the surinamese retards together, coaches them on a story/alibi/whatever, pays the right people to get rid of the body. All before anyone even reports the girl missing.

    Now we're finally getting some truths here.

  • I'm usually just a lurker here but had to comment. I had the same thoughts as you TNHR, willing to bet there were drugs or some rough "play" involved and something happened and the boys did ask Daddy for help. I suspect it will all come out soon enough.

    I will say that although I was a bit wild in high school, and will say that at no time would I have ever, nor ever let one of my friends leave with some guy she had met at a party, let alone 3! So Don by your standards, I would have been horribly ostracized, but be that as it may I would not have had raped or killed friends. The actions of this girl were not so smart. If she wanted to "hook up" I am sure the room she was staying in was available. Even if she thought they were just all going to go swim on the beach, never should a girl in any country leave with 3 guys she has recently met. It is horribly sad and I feel for her family, however I see it as a time for us to learn and educate our children and ourselves. My daughter is never going out of the country at 18 to "party" without me. Call me obsessive, overprotective, pessimistic, that is fine, but it not happening on my watch. I just don't believe things are as they were when I was young. Too many with too ill intentions running around.

  • I don't think the friends should be blamed for not stopping her from leaving with the men. If she really wanted to leave, and apparently she did, she would have done it regardless of what they said. Or, she would have sneaked out in the middle of the night. I feel so sad for her family. I don't even want to think how that would feel.

  • I just saw her mom, who has remained in Aruba all this time, on the Today show, well, today. Anyhow, she still believes that here daughter will be found, and alive. I had previously "heard" all the parents were hoping for was a body to bury. Wow. I don't know, even a month after the fact, if I could talk to Katie Couric about it. Such a shame.
  • Now they've decided to 'search' inland water holes using divers. What a concept. The father and DJ are still said to be 'suspects' until the investigation concludes. The laws and procedures are so totally different from the US procedures. The two Aruban brothers are the key to getting the truth out. Keep them separated and let the FBI interrogate them. (But, for the sake of Parabeagle, G3 and Whatever, be sure the ACLU is at hand).
  • I saw that too. She appears to be a remarkably strong woman. Don't think I could speak coherently to the press or anyone else for that matter. I hope they find her soon; one way or the other. The "unknown" has got to be horrific on a day-after-day basis.
  • Oh, I am not blaming the friends, but if she was maybe drugged or under the influence, friends may have convinced her otherwise. I hope for the family's sake the do find her, but I am not betting on them finding her alive, would be great if they did though.
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