Controversy

2

Comments

  • See Don, exactly what I mean. You can't just state opinion you always have to take it a step further. To say, "Nobody's around now with the balls to challenge you." or that I'm "one of the few who run tattling to the alert button when something displeases you." doesn't help anything it escalates it, which I think you like, no LOVE. It doesn't further a conversation, it doesn't add to the diversity of opinion it's simply your opinion & you like to say it. I don't need to be "challenged", there's nothing that I say around here that it would be necessary to be "challenged" about. So what if opinions differ, so what if my advice isn't relevant or useful - neither is anyone else's all the time either. It's opinion, it's experience it doesn't need to go the route that you often take it. I'll say it right here, I find your posts offensive when you divert from solid HR advice and I find you personal little digs offensive. Didn't hit the alert button there did I?
  • Well Beagle, in response to your question "Can't we all just get along?" Apparently the answer is no! BTW, I am not sure, but mwild may have been refering to Leslie or me. .
  • [font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 03-16-04 AT 03:10PM (CST)[/font][br][br]no sonny - I wasn't referring to you or Leslie.
  • Here's why private emails don't work, from Don D to my private email box:

    "I had exactly nine private mails following your post and all of them said precisely the same thing, that the only reason you're jumping around now pretending to like some 'new direction the Forum has taken' is because you feel no one will challenge your often personal attacks and over the top assaultive remarks. I agreed and so stated. Nothing has changed on the forum and there is no new direction that it has taken other than about 15 or so old timers backing off in light of the censorship thing. Has nothing to do with a new direction and you know it. I was told you hit the alert button when I posted my remark about Oregon being one of the cesspool heavily democratic states, and that you felt I had leveled the remark at people who are homosexual. That was wrong and I told James it was wrong. You're a 'relative' newcomer to the Forum and never have gotten along with me and you have rubbed so many others the wrong way. I've been big enough to stand up to you and you resent it. Maybe you've always been used to people deferring to your wisdom or rantings. Not on the Forum though. Just as an aside, I have taken up for you when others have said that you are 'gay'. I talked one woman out of launching into an expose' of your HR theories because I felt it would not educate the poster who was in need of a good answer. The result was that a private email to the poster solved his dilemma. I'm not all bad. Just brash and unforgiving and not about to cowtow to or kiss the ass of anybody, you and James included. Enjoy yourself though. We'll probably all be back since we helped build this HR tool in the first place and really have an investment in providing good HR advice to others and benefitting ourselves. I have often remarked on the Forum about the personal benefit to me from the responses and sharing. Nobody will ever hear you mention benefitting or accepting an answer as a good one. I've forgotten more about HR than you will ever learn but I don't come across that way, as you do, throwing tantrums when someone differs from you. Sure, I'm brash, I'm rude, I'm direct, I'm uninhibited, I'm not politically correct and will never be diplomatic. But, I will always offer sound advice based on 35 years of experience. And I find you resenting that. I will be around and will surface once again as the burr under your arrogant saddle."

    I'm done with the forum. Don and the other 9 folks or more, you get your wish.

  • [font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 03-16-04 AT 03:36PM (CST)[/font][br][br]Mwild,

    Normally I would send a private e-mail about this, but you have brought yours out in the open, so I will say it here...

    IMHO, this is in poor taste of you to share a private message sent to you from another member. This is a good reason why some people may rather take the anonymous road of the alert button instead of sending e-mails in the future.

    I for one find refreshing the different opinions that are part of this forum. I would not want to see anyone take their leave. But if it is what you choose to do, then do. Noone can stop you.


  • [font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 03-16-04 AT 04:15PM (CST)[/font][br][br]I don't disagree that sharing it is questionable, but geez, how would you feel? I think it is just FRIGGIN sad it has come to this. This isn't "all about Don" that I am aware of "anymore than it is about mwild." Are we now all going to take sides and gang up on each other?

    I posted in this thread more than usual as I hoped we could have some adult discussion. I thought we were making some head way. It seems we have (again) digressed into some sort of pissing match. I've tried, I give up.

    Edit: I feel like deleting all of my above, but in light of recent discussions won't. Apolgize as I did not think it through to my satisfaction. Maybe tomorrow my head will be clear again. I do know that I assume when I send a private email, it will not be posted here. Perhaps that is a poor assumption on my part. I do think IF (perception, not known fact) we spend time in our private emails discussing people's sexuality and back stabbing each other, we could, perhaps improve on our professionalism regardless of our opinions of each other. Any of you can feel free to post your responses HERE rather than in Don or mwild's mail box.
  • I believe the controversial threads are good for us they gives us the opportunity to see how others feel about certain topics.

    Granted some of the time it has nothing to do with HR but that's ok Har-De-Har should be a place to release any pent up feelings be it a joke, an event, an issue or just to vent.

    HR is very serious stuff but there are other events happening that affect our lives we should be able to discuss them.

    Many of the posters have been here a long time some of us not so long it would be ashame to lose any of us.

    IMHO it should be a mutual agreement between customer (who posted) and MLSP to edit their thread. If someone is threatened in a post it should be edited, No questions asked. Things said should not be taken personally. Personal disagreements should not be aired through the threads but through personal e-mails if at all.

    But for the most part it is just differences of opinions and they're many out there.




  • Geeeze Louise. I had to double check my own copy and that's precisely what I sent in what I assumed was private mail. We've been encouraged to do that and I did. We're offered that tool and that's its purpose. I could have copied and pasted any of some 10 or so private mails that have been sent to me by this person which were much more, shall we say, 'enlightening'. We've had a private ongoing 'disagreement' for some time, and it remained private, yet somehow constructive and I would think it should continue as private, but that's not my decision to make. Now that private remarks are public, so be it. I don't shy away from them. As the two of us have done privately for months, I again expressed privately my true and honest opinion. It remains my true and honest opinion. If I have something to say, I will say it to your face and I did exactly that. If any of the words in the private mail are offensive to a more tender reader, don't blame me for their publication.
  • I, too, have kept away from posting on the Forum. This censorship business is frustrating and discouraged me from any further involvement. Observing some of the posts from my fellow Forumites validated my reaction of withdrawing.

    For mwild's benefit, private means "not sharing with others in any way, hidden". Having posted Don's email showed a lack of sensitivity. The last sentence where she announced that she is quiting sounds the same as when my daughter would have a temper tantrum.

    The least I can say is, "Adios".
  • WOW! What is this? The mosh pit thread?! Or as Ray would put it, The Back Alley? There are some laughs, good times, sticky issues, and problem solving going on in some other threads, so once y'all are all out of venom, feel free to join us. We'd love to have ya'.

    Sorry to interrupt. Carry on.
  • OK, here goes. I've been reading the forum several times a day for about a year. I know, shame on me for not posting very often and I will be happy to change that. My point here is that you can't let a minority of those who do not agree with the differing opinions on the forum to stop those of you who have decided to pull away. PLEASE reconsider your decision. I've learned more from this forum in one year than in the 7 years of being a HR Manager.

    Mwild, you went a little too far by posting a personal email on the forum. If you do not agree with a thread, DON'T READ IT! But don't prevent the rest of us from learning from it.

    Don, Leslie, Parabeagle, everyone who adds so much value to this site, I hope you decide to come back to educate, entertain and build this forum back up to what it once was.

    As Balloonman would say, "my $.02 worth"

    Cathy
  • [font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 03-17-04 AT 08:42AM (CST)[/font][br][br]I'm remembering when not very long ago, we were posting our pictures for the HR Hero Calendar, sharing pictures and news of our children, swapping recipes, and having a wonderful time learning and enjoying one another.

    I do not post frequently, but I am a daily visitor to the site. I would hate to lose the quality and quantity of knowledge that all of you provide to those of us who really do benefit from your generous sharing of experiences and time. Yes - I have sent private emails with questions and have always been treated as a friend and colleague.

    In the past, I have never found anything posted here to be offensive, maybe some posters are more direct than others, but never offensive. But recently, some postings seem ferocious, and you know what is coming down the pike........... more misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Just wondering, where do we go from here? I'd love to see the Board as it was several months ago. IMHO....

    Anne
  • "If you do not agree with a thread, DON'T READ IT! But don't prevent the rest of us from learning from it."

    Well said Cathy. The whole point of my joining this community was to learn from other HR professionals who were either more experienced or had valuable input. We can agree to disagree, but let's not reduce this to a sandbox fight or a he said, she said argument.

  • To all those who have decided to leave this Forum : I will miss you. Thanks for the "words of wisdom" you gave us during your time with us.

    To all those who will stay with this Forum: I say "Thanks" for all your past, present and future sharing with us.

    To all those who have just joined this Forum:
    Welcome !


    Chari
  • [font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 03-17-04 AT 10:55PM (CST)[/font][br][br]Wow, missed a lot and have decided not to read the thread that caused all the hard feelings. This forum has been a welcome escape from a tough day at work and chance to share experiences and sometimes vent to others in similar positions.

    I agree with recent postings - have learned a lot on the forum and like the diversity of opinions as it gives me another way to look at things. This is a key part of every HR person's job - the ability to respect another viewpoint even if it's something we ourselves don't personally agree with.

    Life would be dull if we all thought the same - remember the film "The Stepford Wives"?

    Hope those considering leaving will reconsider.
  • Being a very rare poster I perhaps shouldn't put my thoughts here now. I so value the insights, both professional and personal that I've garnered during my time here and try to look at least every other day.

    As in real life, if something doesn't seem pertinent or if it is something I'd rather not spend my time reading, I move on.

    How sad, but how true, that all of this is just like a group of our employees which explains why we need HR so much AND why our jobs are so very difficult.

    I would wish everyone would stay and I would hope we can all deal with what we don't like by moving on and not reading or participating.

    The saddest thing of all, for me, would be if I didn't have this forum because I find so much wisdom and experience from everyone. Don't you ever feel like you don't know anything? I think for me at least being in HR I always feel someone else knows more and it helps me immeasurably to have this forum.

    Anyway, onward, upward.

    Carole


  • Wow. I thought it was a requirement to be in HR you couldn't be thin shined. Owenlady says it all. I for one feel blessed to have the experience and immense WISDOM of ALL the Forum participants. I feel much stronger in this position just knowing that if I don't have the answer I can search this web site or post a question to the forum and gain experience and wisdom or a perspective I may not have thought of. At the same time this Forum site can be both addicting (thus making it responsable for me staying late many, many evenings to get the job done) and at the same time it is entertaining with all the personalities that PARTICIPATE. I for one appreciate ALL points of view on so many topics. As another previously said, I have learned more in the less than a year I have been a subsriber than the other ten years in HR combined. Thanks to ALL you you. I look forward to ALL of you sharing your experience and wisdom in the future.
  • Workload has kept me from the forum for the past several days. I was dismayed at what I have seen in this post.

    Don - I think you were out of line to insult MWILD in the manner that you did in post #22. There is no place for that kind of personal attack on this forum. Being a straight shooter is no excuse for acting like a bully.

    Its not about having thin skin or being a "brutally honest". Its about extending decency and respect to other HR professionals.


  • Sorry Paul, I'm not really replying to you but wanted to post a couple thoughts.

    I don't post frequently but I do visit regularly and have found this site to be valuable in my work and entertaining personally.

    I am amazed that there are people who truly believe that the Bill of Rights includes a clause about being protected against offense. I'm pretty sure it doesn't. If you are on this site seeking advice, ideas or differing viewpoints how can you be offended when you find what you are looking for?

    If you are here seeking public affirmation of ideas you already hold then you're in the wrong place. That's when you turn to your mother and your best friend.

    If you seek knowledge from a book, or a newspaper, or through any other venue and in the course of that search you come across something you find offensive, who is responsible? The author for expressing the idea? Or is it your thought patterns, beliefs and ideals that cause you to be offended? And if you are offended who is going to protect you? And why?

    Just a few thoughts, I'll go back to work now.






  • Thoughtful response, Lisa. glad you joined in.

    It is my opinion that it is the exception rather than the rule that people come here seeking public affirmation. I also don't feel it is the differing view points that may offend people, it is more likely the tone or manner in which those view points are offered.

    I think we may have been focusing too much on being offended. Personally, nothing will offend me if it is said RESPECTFULLY. In my world you just treat people with dignity and respect. If you do, I personally feel it is much harder to take offense. Naive? Maybe, but it works for me.
  • As many others have said, I don't post often although I read a lot. I have learned so much from everyone and enjoy the banter. I do agree with Paul, however, regarding some of Don's posts. He's not very respectful and in fact seems very arrogant at times. But, I think that's part of his charm...
  • [font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 03-18-04 AT 07:30PM (CST)[/font][br][br]Note: The preceeding is my personal opinion and has no value beyond that. Although it may be 'sorta offensive' or 'indeed offensive' to someone out there, it is offered without regard to that possibility. Should you find yourself alarmed by my post, you may privately mail me to protest or you may alert the principal's office. x:-)
  • As I've said many times, I am not here to meet the personal expectations of Paul, Sonny, Jennifer Jo or anybody else. I am alternately arrogant, unrepentant, outspoken, irreverant, bold, blatant, direct, outspoken, aggressive, hostile, pointed and disrespectful. I also have a small degree of valuable experience and a burning desire to help others grow in the profession while learning every day myself. This is not Sunday School and it's not a vanilla melting pot, notwithstanding certain of your wishes. You have read the posts of hundreds of others inviting, respecting and appreciating diversity in opinion and personality. Your evaluation of my posts is your personal right and on occasion, your personal problem. I make no attempt to screen my thoughts and comments by what may be pleasing to Paul or Sonny or Joe or Tom or Brad or James or anyone else. I have stated to you several times on this blog that I state what is on my mind. You have the opportunity to reject it out of hand or embrace it or flush it. Or, another option is to continue to sit back and whine about it. This is not simply a place to exchange flower petals and niceties. I suggest that rather than label me and find fault with my style, you consider my posts and evaluate their content and either reject them or find a way to benefit from them, as I do with all of your posts. You always have the option to scroll past any message that has Don D. beside it.





    Note: The preceeding is my personal opinion and has no value beyond that. Although it may be 'sorta offensive' or 'indeed offensive' to someone out there, it is offered without regard to that possibility. Should you find yourself alarmed by my post, you may privately mail me to protest or you may alert the principal's office. x:-)
  • [font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 03-18-04 AT 07:16PM (CST)[/font][br][br]Don,

    I hear what you are saying but I think the part you don't or won't realize is that your comments hurt people and there is no need for that.

    When you take the low road it merely tarnishes your otherwise remarkable reputation for clarity, insight, and humor.

    At the end of the day I guess you have to set your course and live with it. I hope you will consider what I have said.

    As for me jumping down anyone's throat, if I did and you can show me where, they will have my apology.
  • Paul: This is not about you and it is not about me. The Forum is a broad, universal tool that empowers and helps people grow. It has nothing to do with me, and it should not be drawn down into a personal discussion. If you have personal observations or criticisms, you should email or private mail to me your personal observations about my frailties. I have stated my response to your earlier comment. There is no value in continuing a public debate and it only speaks to your character should you do that. Personally, I have no desire to bore the Forum participants with it.


    Note: The preceeding is my personal opinion and has no value beyond that. Although it may be 'sorta offensive' or 'indeed offensive' to someone out there, it is offered without regard to that possibility. Should you find yourself alarmed by my post, you may privately mail me to protest or you may alert the principal's office. x:-)
  • Paul: I am totally aghast with your posting to Don. Since you wanted to speak only to Don (you addressed it specifically to him), it should have been done privately. After all, it is merely your personal observation.

    As you said, "you have set your course, etc." from my viewpoint, it applies to you as well. My suggestion would be: Practice what you preach.
  • Ritaanz,

    I'm sorry you were aghast.

    Since Don's comments about Mwild were posted publicly, I felt a public response was appropriate. If someone were to publicly attack you, wouldn't you hope that someone would also publicly stick up for you?

    Besides, its hard to take your admonition seriosly when you compared Mwild to a child throwing a tantrum in Post #41. How is that appropriate and my statement was not?

    Regardless, I carefully considered what I said and stand behind it. You have the right to disagree.
  • PCB:
    1. If I were publicly attacked, I think I would be able to defend myself.
    2. I also said that by posting Don's private email showed insensitivity. The same message I tried to convey to you.
    3. I'm not quite sure what I am supposed to disagree about. What you said or that you posted it?
    4. Mwild publicly through a hissy fit. Didn't you hear her stomp up the stairs and slam the door?
  • I have again asked Paul privately to keep his personal discussions private. Again, I will say that this is not about me and it should not be about Paul. He tends to launch out publicly when he should sit calmly and have private discussions. He fails to note that what he considered a publicly posted attack on MWild was posted by MWild, not by the person he accuses of attacking her. The post in question was as private as private gets, or so it seemed. Had I posted some of her messages to me, it would curl your toes. The fact that she personally revealed a private message should forfeit the expectation of his gallant attempt to defend her virtue. Maybe Paul will post some of the private emails he and I have exchanged. He typically will send them to James for review as if that will make some sort of difference. As I have told Paul privately, he must simply mature to the point where he can have off-line, private discussions when he has these sorts of problems. They are not for public consumption. Again, I remind the participants that I am not the one who has exposed this stuff or continued its discussion, publicly. I merely come to my own defense when I need to. Otherwise, none of this should have been made public. The Forum is not about this sort of crap. Can we get back to discussions of Human Resources issues?






    Note: The preceeding is my personal opinion and has no value beyond that. Although it may be 'sorta offensive' or 'indeed offensive' to someone out there, it is offered without regard to that possibility. Should you find yourself alarmed by my post, you may privately mail me to protest or you may alert the principal's office. x:-)
  • [font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 03-19-04 AT 06:55PM (CST)[/font][br][br]Actually, I think Paul was referring to post #22 not the one that Mwild posted.

    Regardless, there will always be disagreements on the forum, that's part of what makes it great.
    It's too bad that someone felt the need to leave over them, however.

    I agree, Don, it's time to move on. Let's all have a great weekend, and get back to building this community that we've help grow to what it is today.
Sign In or Register to comment.