Conflicting Stories

levizmom · April 2007

In our office we have had a sexual harassment issue. We have sat down and talked with both sides, but the problem is both stories differ so much. They are both adamant that they are telling the truth. We want to make sure that we are doing everything right and we have had one other instance that was dealt with really easily. We don't want to overkill the issue, but how do you be fair to both sides where the one feeling harassed feels that you defended them and the one being accused doesn't feel like we are coming down on him for something "they didn't do".

If it is a matter of telling the truth, what would you suggest doing to get more of the truth? Any suggestions as to how to handle the situation so both sides feel that it was dealt with justly? The one problem is there was no one else around, which they both said they wish there was someone else who was around at the time.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Joy1 · April 2007

That is really a tough one. Especially if both people are equally credible and there is zero in the way of other evidence, other incidents, anyone else present, etc. If that is the case, I would document how the complaint was investigated and dealt with, ensure that you did everything that your anti harrassment policy says you'd do, and then speak with both parties. Tell the alleged harasser that (1) harassment of any sort is unacceptable, in violation of company policy, and will be dealt with accordingly (2) that what matters is how the other person perceives whatever he said or did, and how that made them feel (in the case of a hostile environment claim) (3) so, he is on notice and should do nothing to retaliate against this person, should keep the incident to himself (if it isn't already "out"). For the alleged victim, I would (1) tell her what you have told the other employee (2) tell her to immediately let you know if the alleged harasser says of does anything that can be perceived as harassment in the future; (3) tell her to keep this matter confidential, and only to communicate with apropriate parties (i.e., don't gossip, slander the alleged harasser). Good luck!

IrisD · April 2007

Is the person being accused the accuser's manager or supervisor? Or are they colleagues?

Was the harassment verbal or was there touching involved? Was it a one-time incident ?

levizmom · April 2007

They are colleagues. It was a one time incident and it was done through text messages while at work.

Joy1 · April 2007

I beleive that there is a way to retrieve text messages -- you might want to check with the tech/MIS people at your company.

levizmom · April 2007

I didn't think of that. Thanks for the tip.

countrygirl · April 2007

Joy is right, tt would be a good idea to get the texts, especially if each employee has a different version of the story.

Anyway, a good compromise may be to separate the employees so they have the least amount of contact possible.

levizmom · April 2007

I have read the text messages that were sent to her, but she says her outbox is deleted after so many are in there so any responses she made have been deleted, which it makes it all the more complicated. After Joy's tip I was going to check to see if there is a way to retrieve deleted text messages.

californian · April 2007

Any luck with this? I have a similar issue and am not sure how to retrieve messages.

levizmom · April 2007

No luck at all. I called the cell phone providers where I live and none of them know how to retrieve deleted text messages.

regdunlop · April 2007

i am confused. you have read the text message sent to the employee who is accusing a co-worker of harassment? did those support her story? even though she deleted messages in outbox, the accused employee's inbox should have the messages she sent.

levizmom · April 2007

Yes, I read the messages that were sent to her that were on her phone. I asked to see the messages that she sent back to him and she said that her outbox only holds so many text messages and by the time that she came to talk to me they had all already been deleted. When I asked the gentlemen who she is saying sent these if I could see the text messages that were sent from his phone, he told me as well that his outbox only holds a certain amount of texts and that they had been deleted as well.This leads me to believe that one or both of them is lying in some way about the situation or that they are doing way too much texting on company time. This is my dilema. Is it ok to prohibit the use of texting in the office? Any other suggestions?

levizmom · April 2007

Also the texts support her story, but it is how they got there that is up in the air. She says he took her phone and put his number in her phone so that she would call him and listen to his "cool" ringback tone and that is how he got her number and started texting her inappropriate things. He says she took his phone because she forgot hers that day and asked to used it to make some calls and that she texted herself those things from her phone. She has only been here a month and he has been here for about 8 months and we have never had any problems with him before. But I don't want to use that to discredit her story.

hr410 · April 2007

Might just be me, but it seems pretty farfetched that an employee who has only known someone for a month or less would conspire to borrow a phone and put in sexually harassing messages to herself, then not save them for you to see as the evidence of harassment. I would agree with Californian that you should reiterate the harassment policy, etc. If these two work in close proximity, I would separate them without adversely affecting either one (i.e., don't give one a preferable/less preferable desk, seating, department, etc.)

hr410 · April 2007

Oh -- and I would tell them to cut out the texting on company time too . . . do you have a policy on that?

hr410 · April 2007

And -- I meant that I agree with Joy1 (not Californian) -- sorry - Friday afternoon -- losing my ability to concentrate!!!

IrisD · April 2007

I wasn't clear if these were personal phones or they were issued by your company.

Here are some things to consider for your instant messaging policy:

Use of instant messaging during work hours should be limited to work-related matters only, but not regarding confidential, proprietary, or trade secret information.

Instant messages are limited to matters that need immediate attention, such as an address or phone number. Use e-mail or the telephone for general communication.

Instant messages sent during working hours must not violate company policies.

Personal use of instant messaging should be incidental and not used to communicate with other workers.

Personal messages sent during working hours should be labeled "personal and not authorized by XXX company."

Hope this helps.

levizmom · April 2007

Thanks for all the input. It really helped out.

Joy1 · April 2007

Glad to help. Hope it all turns/turned out OK.

Conflicting Stories

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