Signs you've had too much holiday cheer

1. You strike a match and light your nose.

2. You take off your shoes and wade in the potato salad.

3. You hear a duck quacking and it's you.

4. You tell your best joke to the rubber plant.

5. You refill your glass from the fish bowl.

6. You hear someone say, "Call a priest!"

7. You start kissing the portraits on the wall.

8. You complain about the small bathroom after emerging from the closet.

9. You ask for another ice cube and put it in your pocket.

10. You tell everyone you have to go home... and the party's at your place.

11. You have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off.

12. You pick up a roll, and butter your watch.

13. You yawn at the biggest bore in the room... and realize you're in front of the hall mirror.

14. You take out your handkerchief and blow your ear.

15. You suggest everyone stand and sing the national budget.


  • 3 Comments sorted by Votes Date Added
  • I will admit to #11. On the rare instances when I drink those drinks that Jo sends to me...I believe she wants to see me tipsy!
  • OK, I've never told a joke to a rubber tree plant but I did, many, many years ago, think a very large painting was a doorway and try to walk through it. It was mistake anyone could have made. I was a 3 feet by 6 feet solid black canvas. I was at a very loud, jammed full of people party, and I kept seeing people going in and out of what I thought was a door. Turned out that the painting was hanging next to the door to the bathroom and people were actually going in and out of the bathroom. I being on the opposite side of the room, and finding out a few days later that I really did need glasses, stood up from my perch on the arm of a chair and walked right into the "door." Hurt my nose too.

    Sharon :D
  • I almost tried to walk through a painting once, but I didn't want to interrupt a serious poker game. Those dogs looked intense!
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