You Might be from Michigan if....

Jeff Foxworthy on Michigan

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18
inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim
by, you might live in Michigan.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from October through April, you might
live in Michigan.

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year,
you might live in Michigan.

If someone in a store offers you assistance & they don't work there, you
might live in Michigan.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his
forehead, you might live in Michigan.

If you have ever worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live
in Michigan.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Michigan.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a
wrong number, you might live in Michigan.

1. Vacation means going north or south on I 75 for the weekend.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
4. You often switch from heat to AC in the same day and back again.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard,
without flinching.
6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events including weddings.
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to
use them.
9. You design your kids Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
11. You know all 5 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, road
construction, & It's Hot.
12. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your
blue spruce.
13. Down south means Indiana to you.

14. A brat is something you eat.
15. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.
16. The I-500 is a snowmobile race that has nothing to do with
17. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
18. You find 0
degrees a "little chilly".
19. You can use your hand as a map to show people where you live.
20. You know that the trolls living below the bridge and the Yoopers
living above the bridge have nothing to do with a fairy tale.
21. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your
Michigan friends. (What's not to understand???)


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