Thinkers Anonymous

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.

I began to think alone - "to relax," I told myself...but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time. That was when things began to sour at home. One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent the night at her mother's.

I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafke. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking "What is it exactly we are doing here?"

One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."

This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."

"I know you've been thinking, " she said, "and I want a divorce."

"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."

"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "you think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep thinking, we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently.

She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional drama. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door. I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche. I roared into the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors...They didn't open. The library was closed.

To this day, I believe a Higher Power was looking out for me that night. Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye, "Friend, is heavy thinking ruiing your life?" it asked.

You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers Anonymous poster. Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since our last meeting. I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed...easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.

I think the road to recovery is nearly complete for me.

Today I took the final step, I registered to vote as a Democrat.

Comments

  • 19 Comments sorted by Votes Date Added
  • Yep, I was once a Republican and later registered as a Democrat, but I didn't go through this excruciating process.
  • I'm sure you are correct. For some, the process is as Zen describes, or so I've heard from a friend who attends counseling with a group of Recovering Democrats. For others however, the process is rather mindless, involving no pain at all, and they never know what hit them. Then, for still others, there is not even a realization as to what has happened. They just wake up to find themselves in the abyss.

    I'll try to be gentle, so as not to raise the ire of the Forum Gestapo. x:D

    Disclaimer: This message is not intended to offend or attack. It is posted as personal opinion and with the gentlest of intentions. x:-)
  • I suppose so. The recovering Republican process was so much simpler.
  • I think I like this - oh wait, that is probably the first step on the slippery slope.x}>
  • Like we say in another twelve step program, you must first admit defeat.

    ;;)
  • [font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 07-06-05 AT 04:21PM (CST)[/font][br][br]I tink de feet are what takes you down de slippery slope.....
    ;;)
  • Actually, as the County Chairman for the Republican Party, I facilitate a group of recovering Democrats. What amazes me though is the number of recovering Democrats that are also recovering attorneys that are in our group. x}>
  • Uh oh, sounds like they fell off the wagon and started thinking again.
  • [font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 07-07-05 AT 08:13AM (CST)[/font][br][br]Dear Abby: My wife was recently selected as the statewide Republican Party Women's Teacher of The Year and now advances to the nationals in Nashville, TN in September. We have a diverse group of friends, including several PETA members and some Democrats (sorry for the redundancy). None of my Democrat friends have congratulated us and have stopped inviting us to wine and cheese parties. I'm not sure what this means. Should I mention this omission to them or assume they have their heads in the sand? Or is it possible that their heads are somewhere else, as we so often hear?

    Desparate in MS




    Disclaimer: This message is not intended to offend or attack. It is posted as personal opinion and with the gentlest of intentions.
  • I can't help but say - don't you mean "whine and cheese parties"?

    No, I don't really mean that. Just trying to be funny. Although the joke in Nebraska is we spray for Democrats around here. :>)
  • Actually, I think that Don's friends are torn between giving congratulations and condolences. Give them time. They will do what is appropriate. As the only poster, at least that has acknowledged doing so, that has switched parties, I have been struck by all the rehabilitation and recovery steps that switchers supposedly follow. For me it was easy, there was some euphoria, a couple or three "pip, pip, hurrahs", a cartwheel in the parking lot and it was done.
  • The reason you were so successfully transformed was because you had already experienced the euphoria of morphing from a Brit to an American and you assumed all changes were as euphoric. But, those pains you mischaracterize as hemorrhoids are actually the demons of the democrat party churning around and stirring up anquish and misery.

    And for Judy, nobody is 'born a democrat'. One might be born to democrat parents, but we all have an opportunity early in life to make choices. Some do, some don't, some change, some won't. Believe it or not, I was accepted into the Peace Corps when I was a college senior, rebelled against capitalistic society, campaigned against the Viet Nam war, spent 5 years job counseling the disadvantaged and supported democrat administrations and candidates. I really don't know to what I owe my transformation and salvation.




    Disclaimer: This message is not intended to offend or attack. It is posted as personal opinion. If you find yourself offended or uncomfortable, email me and let me know why.
  • I was born a democrat. And although my parents switched I think I shall die leaning towards the left. The sun is always nicer on the left coast.
  • I was born of parents who were rabid Kennedy democrats. When I first registered to vote, I registered as a democrat, but switched to the republican party because I thought some of the dem's ideas were a little out there for my taste. I switched back to the dems, however, when the republicans refused to support ratification of the Equal Rights Amendment.

    Now I only become a radical Kennedy-crat when I get on the Forum. x;-)
  • I don't like the labels. I am not registered with either party. There are seldom candidates that I think I can endorse whole heartedly, and factions within both the parties with whom I would not want to be associated.

    Plus as you get into the nitty gritty of the election process, each party ends up with platform issues that I cannot endorse.

    When you add in my cycnicism for the campaign trail and all the unkept promises that have been made - well, it is no wonder that I am a GDI.

    I am probably overall more conservative than liberal these days and have been for a while - guess that means I am just a casual thinker, you know only at parties but never when I am the designated driver.
  • Someone on another thread awhile back predicted the emergence of a third party. I think many people would be glad to switch to a third because the extremes of both parties seem to be what governs and the larger group in the middle has no influence. Depending on what the third party advocated, I would switch. Won't happen though, the dollars are too entrenched in a two party system.
  • Actually, I was raised by two rabid Republicans, though my father was an attorney who always taught us to look for and at both sides of any story/issue, etc. I'm a registered Independent because I can never find enough satisfactory candidates in either single party to endorse - too many extremes or idiots on both sides. It was kind of a surprise for our family to discover by accident after Clinton's first election that both my brother and I now vote primarily Democrat and I made my first political donation this year to that party. It has made political discussions in our family alternately heated and non-existent, but I am non-repentant!
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