Top 10 Dog Complaints about Humans

Ten Dog Peeves About Humans

1. Blaming your farts on me. Not funny. Not funny at

2. Yelling at me for barking. I'M A DOG, YOU IDIOT!
It's what I do!

3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check
stuff out.
Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose.
Stop it!

5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you
know why we
chew your stuff up when you're not home.

6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a
Whoooo-hoooooooo! What a proud moment for the top of
the food

7. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip," then
acting surprised
when I freak out every time we go back!

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your
guests. Sorry,
but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

9. Dog sweaters. Hello??? Haven't you noticed the fur?

10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we
both know
the truth. You're just jealous.

Now lay off me on some of these things. We both know
who's boss
here! You don't see me picking up your poop do you?


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