Joke o' the day
SMace
1,481 Posts
This is a good one. You may want to make sure no one is around. I laughed out loud.
It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new policy says, in order to get into Heaven, you had to experience a real bummer on the day that you died. The next day, a pathetic-looking little man came to the gates of Heaven. The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly asked the man, "Before I let you in, you need to tell me how your day was going before you died." "No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 25th-floor apartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife having an affair. But her lover was nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching, and a while later was about to give up, when I happened to glance at the balcony. Lo and behold, I noticed a man hanging on the edge by his fingertips! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But, wouldn't you know it, he landed in some bushes which broke his fall and he didn't die. This ticked me off even more. And in a rage, I went back inside to get the first thing I could find to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I thought of was the refrigerator, which I unplugged and pushed onto the balcony. With a little nudge, it tipped over the side, plummeted 25 stories, and crushed that little scum bag! The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly." The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have a bad day. It was a crime of passion. So, the Angel announced, "OK sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and let him in. A few seconds later the next guy came up. To the Angel's surprise, it was Donald Trump. Mr. Trump, before I can let you in, I need to hear about your day, just before you died." Trump said, "No problem. But you're not going to believe this. I was on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises on the balcony. I had been under a lot of pressure so I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden, this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, starts cussing, and stomps on my fingers. Well, of course, I fell. But luckily, I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom, which broke my fall, so I didn't die right away. As I'm laying there face-up on the ground, unable to move and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator off the balcony It falls the 25 floors and lands on top of me, killing me instantly." The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as Trump finishes his story. I could get used to this new policy, he thinks to himself. "Very well," the Angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven". A few seconds later, Bill Clinton comes up to the gate. The Angel is almost too shocked to speak. Thoughts of assassination and war pour through the Angel's head. Finally he says "Mr. ... President, please tell me what it was like the day you died." Clinton says, "OK, picture this. I'm naked inside this refrigerator
It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new policy says, in order to get into Heaven, you had to experience a real bummer on the day that you died. The next day, a pathetic-looking little man came to the gates of Heaven. The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly asked the man, "Before I let you in, you need to tell me how your day was going before you died." "No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 25th-floor apartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife having an affair. But her lover was nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching, and a while later was about to give up, when I happened to glance at the balcony. Lo and behold, I noticed a man hanging on the edge by his fingertips! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But, wouldn't you know it, he landed in some bushes which broke his fall and he didn't die. This ticked me off even more. And in a rage, I went back inside to get the first thing I could find to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I thought of was the refrigerator, which I unplugged and pushed onto the balcony. With a little nudge, it tipped over the side, plummeted 25 stories, and crushed that little scum bag! The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly." The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have a bad day. It was a crime of passion. So, the Angel announced, "OK sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and let him in. A few seconds later the next guy came up. To the Angel's surprise, it was Donald Trump. Mr. Trump, before I can let you in, I need to hear about your day, just before you died." Trump said, "No problem. But you're not going to believe this. I was on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises on the balcony. I had been under a lot of pressure so I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden, this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, starts cussing, and stomps on my fingers. Well, of course, I fell. But luckily, I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom, which broke my fall, so I didn't die right away. As I'm laying there face-up on the ground, unable to move and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator off the balcony It falls the 25 floors and lands on top of me, killing me instantly." The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as Trump finishes his story. I could get used to this new policy, he thinks to himself. "Very well," the Angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven". A few seconds later, Bill Clinton comes up to the gate. The Angel is almost too shocked to speak. Thoughts of assassination and war pour through the Angel's head. Finally he says "Mr. ... President, please tell me what it was like the day you died." Clinton says, "OK, picture this. I'm naked inside this refrigerator
Comments
due to the confidentiality laws you cannot share it with them. x;-)