The South Postpones Rising Again

LarryC · May 2005

The Onion recently carried an article about the South postponing, once again, rising. A South Carolina radiator technician was quoted as saying, "Lord willing, and the creek don't rise, we gonna rise again." The article further states that even though the Deep South states rank at the bottom of the nation in literacy, hospital beds, toilet paper sales, and shoe usage; experts believe the region could be poised for a renaissance. Further on the article states, "Though Southerners are overwhelmingly in favor rising again, few could provide specific details of the rising-again process."

So how about it, Rebs. How much longer do we have to wait?

National Guard · May 2005

What is the Onion?x:-/

LarryC · May 2005

It's a resurrection of the National Lampoon.

POPEYE · May 2005

>
>So how about it, Rebs. How much longer do we
>have to wait?

Do you really think we will give out that information. It's just like Candid Camera, "When you least expect it, you'll be elected. It'll be your lucky day!"

SMace · May 2005

Don't forget, you Northerners have Detroit.

Don D · May 2005

The South (with thanks to the original poster for knowing to capitalize the word) is also known to not have residents simple minded enough to purchase (the deceased) National Lampoon or its successor. And, to partially answer the poster's question, I would point out that northerners by the millions consider the Deep South a destination, a place they long to visit and retire to; whereas, there is hardly a soul alive (or dead) who would list Minnesota as a destination longed for. It is quite possible that we have indeed risen while he slept x:-).

Whatever · May 2005

Are you trying to tell me there is more to the Deep South than Florida (which actually only exists during the winter). I thought risen meant getting up early enough to catch the early bird special at the restaurant. ;;)

LarryC · May 2005

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 05-02-05 AT 12:44PM (CST)[/font][br][br]If the South did indeed rise, then it did so without near the impact , nor the reaction, as the first time. By the way, I wasn't sleeping; I was hibernating.

Parabeaglex2 · May 2005

"...northerners by the millions consider the Deep South a destination,"

Yeah... a destination to which this Northerner is dragged kicking and screaming three or four times a year!

Still, it's better than North Dakota in January.

LarryC · May 2005

"Still, it's better than North Dakota in January. "

Or any other month for that matter.

Don D · May 2005

I will bow out of this discussion, seein' as how I can't remember whether or not I took my BP pills this morning. The 24th of April was Confederate Memorial Day, a state holiday in more than a few states. I personally placed over 600 tiny flags on grave markers. Before you show your collective asses, I will point out that more than several were Union flags placed at the graves of fallen Union soldiers. Now I will leave this thread.

HRinNH · May 2005

I've not personally known or heard of one single person eager to retire to MS. However Florida is promoted to have a comfy retirement feel but for the life of me I don't know why folks buy into it. All the comfort disappears for me when I hear about tornadoes and big hurricanes.

SMace · May 2005

What they do is retire to FL in the winter and NC in the summer. I will soon be overrun by Buicks and Lincoln Town cars.

E Wart · May 2005

I am more interested in "The Onion". I am originally from (and still call home) a small town in south GA known for it's vegtable (which by the way is the official vegtable of GA.) I can't wait to tell our local newspaper publisher that he needs to change the name of the weekly paper from "The Advance" to "The Onion".
Rise from what? I got a little worried when you started mentioning literacy, (if we are at the bottom, I hope we will rise) toilet paper sales (enough said) hospital beds, (it might be good tha we are at the bottom on this... if they aren't needed.) etc.

E Wart

lhill · May 2005

You bet your fanny we'll rise again. Why else would I be saving Dixie cups?

JudyT929 · May 2005

I didn't know the South fell. Well not to worry, Texas will always be here to hold everything together, after all Texas IS the center of the universe.

lhill · May 2005

>I didn't know the South fell. Well not to
>worry, Texas will always be here to hold
>everything together, after all Texas IS the
>center of the universe.

Amen and amen.

The South Postpones Rising Again

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