Action Figure Held Hostage

The terrorists have now gone too far!!! They captured one of our toys and are holding him hostage with one of the guns that came with the toy. It now seems that they will stop at nothing.

What's next? The Teddy Bear? Barbie? Tonka trucks? Betsy Wetsy? Sponge Bob? Barney? (Wait a second. Go ahead and take him.)I wouldn't be surprised that, come Easter time, we will see the Easter Bunny kneeling (do they even have knees?) in front of several masked gunmen.

We must act fast. I would stop at nothing less than sending troops to the Island of Misfit Toys, the Willy Wonka Chocolate Facory, the North Pole, and Toys R Us.

They must be stopped!!!


  • 11 Comments sorted by Votes Date Added
  • Larry, lay off the caffeine man!
  • They can have SpongeBob too.
  • Oh no, not Sponge Bob. I watched a good one last night with my son. Patrick had a secret and Sponge Bob stopped at nothing to get it. Takes me back to the 60's. Ah, what a time.
  • Back to the 60's where cartoons were fun and didn't have hidden agendas like trying to corupt our young with their gay characters like Sponge Bob and the Purple Teletubby.

    I wonder what rock some of these people crawled out from under. They obviously have too much time on their hands!
  • What! Sponge Bob is gay? But, what of his love for Sandy the squirrel from Texas?
  • Yep, Sponge Bob can get a little happy at times but he's hardly an undercover agent for Bin Laden.
  • Yep, saw this in this morning's paper.

    Associated Press
    Feb. 2, 2005 12:00 AM
    BAGHDAD - A Web site posted a photo of what it said was a kidnapped U.S. soldier, but doubts were raised about its verity, and the U.S. military said no soldiers were missing.
    GI purported kidnapped may be merely a toy figure

    A U.S. toymaker said the figure in the photo resembled one of its military action figures, originally produced for sale at U.S. bases in Kuwait.

    The statement was on a site where militants' statements are often posted and was in the name of a group that has claimed other kidnappings, the Mujahedeen Brigades.

    Staff Sgt. Nick Minecci, a U.S. military spokesman in Baghdad, said "no units have reported anyone missing."

    The photo showed a figure in desert fatigues, wearing a vest and knee pads and with a gun pointed to its head. All the items are similar to ones that come in a box with the action figure, named "Cody."

    Liam Cusack, of toymaker Dragon Models USA Inc., said: "It is our doll. . . . To me, it looks definitely like it is."

  • I am sure that the government has already set a plan in motion for Woody and Buzz Lightyear to lead a team of special forces made up of green army men to rescue Cody from any harm.

    Does anyone know of Michael Moore's whereabouts during the time the video showing the "hostage" was given to the news channels?
  • Please, please don’t tell me you are serious about a hidden agenda. Can this "SpongeBob Controversy" really be an issue that should be of vital interest to all thinking Americans?

    It is not the first time that children's TV favorites have come under the critical spotlight of the U.S. Christian right. Tinky Winky, the purse-toting purple Teletubbie, was in 1999 declared a homosexual role model by Rev. Jerry Falwell.

    To quote a friend on another forum, “Seems like li'l Tinky Winky appealed to the ol' Reverend Falwell in a way he found uncomfortable. But seriously, it makes a body feel safer, just knowing these wise folks are looking out for us. I mean, otherwise, how would we even know to be scared?”

    Personally, I really wonder how the big purple dinosaur running around singing with a mimicked lisp came away relatively unscathed all those years! And I'm really surprised this SpongeBob thing didn't come up in the election last year! Y'know those liberal gays, tryin' to take over the entire country through cartoons. Ah me, Mr. Rogers is turning over in his grave...

  • You left out Burt & Ernie (there have been rumors about them for years).
    What I wonder is if this an issue of vital interest to two-year olds. :oo
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