POLITICAL CORRECTNESS
Don D
9,834 Posts
I'll have to do some serious editing on this one in order for it to remain up here more than 5 minutes.
SPEAKING OF WOMEN - POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1) She is not a babe or a chick. She is a 'breasted American'.
2) She is not easy. She is 'horizontally accessible'.
3) She is not a dumb blonde. She is a 'light haired detour off the information superhighway'.
4) She has not 'been around', she is a 'previously enjoyed companion'.
5) She is not an airhead. She is 'reality impaired'.
6) She does not get drunk or tipsy. She gets 'chemically inconvenienced'.
7) She does not nag you. She becomes 'verbally repetitive'.
8) She is not a two-bit hooker. She is a 'low cost provider'.
SPEAKING OF MEN - POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1) He doesn't have a beer gut. He has developed 'a liquid grain storage facility'.
2) He is not a bad dancer. He is 'overly caucasian'.
3) He doesn't 'get lost all the time'. He 'investigates alternative destinations'.
4) He doesn't get falling down drunk. He becomes accidentally horizontal.
5) He doesn't act like a total ass at parties. He develops a case of rectal-cranial inversion.
5) He isn't a male chauvinist pig. He has 'swine empathy'.
6) That's not his crack you see when he squats down in jeans. It's 'rear cleavage'!
This was a lot longer......but, as I said, it took a bit of cleaning up and some couldn't be worked with at all. x:D
SPEAKING OF WOMEN - POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1) She is not a babe or a chick. She is a 'breasted American'.
2) She is not easy. She is 'horizontally accessible'.
3) She is not a dumb blonde. She is a 'light haired detour off the information superhighway'.
4) She has not 'been around', she is a 'previously enjoyed companion'.
5) She is not an airhead. She is 'reality impaired'.
6) She does not get drunk or tipsy. She gets 'chemically inconvenienced'.
7) She does not nag you. She becomes 'verbally repetitive'.
8) She is not a two-bit hooker. She is a 'low cost provider'.
SPEAKING OF MEN - POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1) He doesn't have a beer gut. He has developed 'a liquid grain storage facility'.
2) He is not a bad dancer. He is 'overly caucasian'.
3) He doesn't 'get lost all the time'. He 'investigates alternative destinations'.
4) He doesn't get falling down drunk. He becomes accidentally horizontal.
5) He doesn't act like a total ass at parties. He develops a case of rectal-cranial inversion.
5) He isn't a male chauvinist pig. He has 'swine empathy'.
6) That's not his crack you see when he squats down in jeans. It's 'rear cleavage'!
This was a lot longer......but, as I said, it took a bit of cleaning up and some couldn't be worked with at all. x:D
Comments
or, "this is not a beer gut, its relaxed muscle"x:7
That is brilliant! I copied this before it could be edited or deleted.
Rectal-cranial inversion is an absolute classic.
I'll try that one on the little woman at home. I'll report back the results.
You coul try telling her (when she gets repetitive) that it was funny only the first three times!
It works with my husband (he can be very repetitive)
What's that 'sposed to mean? ;;)
It's Friday and I'm counting the minutes...
[u][url]http://babel.altavista.com/translate[/url][/u]
It's not a perfect translation but better than nothing. :oo
Anne in Ohio
How do you say, "It's Margarita time somewhere!"
Altavista would probably say, "You need drink coffee water with ugly friend." I want a better way of saying it.
It is time of Daisy?