Male Bonding

Help me out here. You men wonder about our shoes. You chaps come up with stuff like gloss anxiety and packing a piece of luggage. You masculine hunks think you are using logic when you tell us about caffeine aggression. You gentlemen think you are the only one that can come up with an intellectually challenging thread.

Here are some questions that might help us help you.

Why do men feel the need to connect with each other via the pat on the derriere?

Why is it so important to men that they band together regularly and behave as sophomores in high school?

Why is it so crucial for men to stick together even when it is obvious that their stance is wrong?

What is the attraction to men in gathering together unshaven, unbathed and hung over in the middle of the woods near a body of water holding a pole with a string that has a paper clip on the end of it?

Why is it fun to assemble time and again in a field in the rain, snow, cold to catch a duck? A deer? A squirrel?



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Comments

  • 36 Comments sorted by Votes Date Added

  • "Here are some questions that might help us help you."

    You are assuming we need and desire help. But, stop and think... can you really picture Don patting any guy on the derriere?

  • Ritanz: Have you ever noticed that the men who complain the loudest about the luggage their wives and children take on vacation, are the same ones who complain they don't have enough room in their car for the stuff they are taking to a football game?
  • Of course! How could I forget about tail-gating at football games??

    These handsome brutes link up in the parking lot guzzling brewskis and chomping down their manly cuisine. How adorable.
  • Are you poking the sleeping bear, ritaanz??? I'm surprised Don D hasn't jumped both feet first into the middle of this thread! I know you're just baiting him. x;-)
  • Is that the best you can do Beagpuss? Expect Don to be your spokesMAN?
  • Sticks and stones, ritaanz, sticks and stones... x;-)
  • [font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 05-10-04 AT 02:32PM (CST)[/font][br][br]Ritaanz, I've never felt so unmanly before this.

    I don't pat other guys backsides, I don't behave in a sophmoric fashion, I admit whem I'm wrong or if someone else is, I don't drink and go fishing and I don't hunt.

    I might have to start questioning my manhood thanks to you. But right now I have to go...Oprah is about to start.
  • Hmmmmmmmmmm, are you from another planet?
  • HRsage- you sounded perfect and then I realized you live in California. x:'(
  • Ritaanz; I tried my best to answer, but as soon as I started to speak, you two girls excused yourself and went off to the bathroom together, giggling.
  • Ritaanz, sorry we men haven't had time to post more responses, but someone opened the hood of their car and we all gathered around to look at it.

    James Sokolowski
    HRhero.com
  • James: You sound like an intelligent man. Can you imagine this scenario: Two couples are double dating and are seated at the movie, all enjoying popcorn and a Coke. Of course the women are in the middle since they are less apt to be anxious through the movie if they are elbow to elbow. Halfway through the movie, one of the men leans over the women and whispers, with a sly grin, to the other man, "You wanna go to the bathroom?" Help me understand that sort of behavior.

    I'd much rather be in the middle of a lake, yesterday's fish guts on my t-shirt, dragging in a seven pound bass, and looking a half mile toward the cabin on the bank, watching last nite's fire about to die out.


  • I'm mystified. Maybe "going to the restroom" is a secret code for "You wouldn't believe what my guy did -- let's go talk about him."

    James Sokolowski
    HRhero.com
  • I think I have an answer to your question Don...

    Women often go to the bathroom together for a very good reason. The men they pass on the way (especially the ones grouped together) often can't be trusted NOT to do a little grabbing if they have the opportunity. When females go in groups they are less likely to be grabbed.

    So the reason women go to the bathroom together is: feminine protection.

    (Obviously having nothing to do with sharing make-up, men advice, or other forms of "protection.") x:D


  • If some Billy-Joe-Bob grabbed me I'd round house him with my purse, alone or with the girls.
  • First of all, who asked for help? (Like who in their right mind would ask for directions?)

    Most of us don't pat each other anywhere!

    We haven't lost that inner child.

    You only think we're wrong. We're standing up for what IS right.

    The last two questions don't even merit an answer. If you don't understand that, there's no hope. One hint: we're HUNTERs and gatherers who provide for our families.


  • It was reported today that it is fish shooting season in Vermont. No other comment is needed.
  • You think you jest. But, in some states, there is indeed a season during which certain species of fish may legally be taken with bow and arrow. These laws passed while you girls were in the restroom.
  • Hey Don, my sweet cupcake, why this fixation on bathrooms?
  • I would never jest. Apparantly the weapons of choice include AK47's and .357 magnums (makes it hard for the goldfish to escape).
  • [font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 05-11-04 AT 10:39AM (CST)[/font][br][br]OK, this all based on the wotng questions. Here is the best way to handle this:
    IN response to #1-Why do women always need to go to the bathroom together?

    To #2-Why do women always gather together and dress like sophmores?

    To #3-Men wrong? Just who ate the forbidden fruit in the first place?

    To #4-To feed you ladies, besides my wife ain't half bad unbathed and hung over..not sure though about the unshaven!

    To #5-See #4

    Now let us get back to our manly stuff, besides that, the new car smell is fading quickly.
  • slogan: You're not alone, man. I knew a girl in college, who, unbathed and hung over, smelled like a new car. Well, maybe not a new one. You've definitely nudged this thread to a new level. It was sort of dead.
  • My SO and I do a lot of quad riding. I used to have a nice little auto 4-wheel drive Kawasaki that I could maneuver and make do what I wanted it to do. We were very comfortable together.

    Last year, because "I" needed a bigger quad, he traded off the Kawi and got a 600 Polaris. Then he put a gun rack on it, because, again, "I" needed it. His friends all stood around staring at it high fiving him. Especially when it helped him pull an elk (not his though) out of a canyon last hunting season. All is right with his world.

    Now I have a huge bike I can barely make go in a straight line, let alone around curves and over rocks without having the handlebars wrenched out of my hand, and basically being thrown off.

    And he wants to know why I don't seem so fond of going quad riding any more.
  • Leslie: You're an awfully smart girl . Certainly you know that certain intangible benefits have accrued to you as a result of your having gone along with the 'trade up'. You know they have! You play him like a fiddle. And the quad trade up was just another chorus. x:-) So quit whining and tell the whole truth.
  • Why Men Are Just Happier People - What do you expect from such simple creatures?

    Your last name stays put.

    The garage is all yours.

    Wedding plans take care of themselves. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental -- $100.

    Chocolate is just another snack.

    You can never be pregnant.

    You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.

    Car mechanics tell you the truth.

    The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station because the restroom is just too icky.

    Same work, more pay.

    Wrinkles add character.

    People never stare at your chest when you're talking to
    them

    The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

    One mood -- all the time.

    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
    You know stuff about tanks.

    A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

    You can open all your own jars.

    You get extra credit for the slightest act of
    thoughtfulness.

    If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can
    still be your friend.

    Your underwear is $8.95 for three-pack.

    Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.

    You are unable to see wrinkles in your
    clothes.

    Everything on your face stays its original color.

    The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

    You only have to shave your face
    and neck.

    You can play with toys all your life.

    Your belly usually hides your big hips.

    You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

    You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

    You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

    No wonder men are happier!

    If you girls would just get over it.


  • Thanks Don, After reading my way through this thread I was beginning to develop an identity crisis as I, like HRsage, do not participate in any of the ritualistic behavior described by the originator of this thread. However, after reading your last post I realize I still fit right in so I can happily spit, crab my crotch and move on.
  • Lee, the topic is male bonding, as in fusing relationships, joining together. What you choose to do in your room, home or office alone, single-handedly and unaccompanied is none of my business.
  • One mood all the time HA!! I beg to differ!
    AND I know a few men who are uncomfortable wearing shorts because they perceive their legs as being to skinny. If I could only have that problem!
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