Am I Too Chronologically Gifted?

psrcello · December 2003

Here's my dilemma - I've just been offered a transfer to take the HR Manager job at the biggest plant our company has (800+ in the plant, and 200+ in the office). Plant has a history of ineffective and short-lived HR managers, a former division president that made "deals" to solve every grievance and was intimidated by the union. The plant is four times as large as the one I'm in now, and it's a really prestigious promotion, especially for someone who's only been with the company 2-1/2 years.

On the flip side, I'm really happy with where I am - I know all 250 employees on the floor by name on every shift, I work really well with the union officers and plant management, there's still plenty of challenges here, because things aren't quite running like a Swiss watch yet. It's a smaller division with a somewhat shakier future, but it's located in a city ten times the size of the one I'd be relocating to.

When I told my spouse that I might decide to stay where I am, he got really upset with me and told me I need to "push" myself out of my comfort zone. But do I? I'm 52 years old - is there anything wrong with deciding that upward mobility isn't something I necessarily aspire to any more? Or is this just my age creeping up on me?

I'd appreciate your feedback - I promised I'd make my decision by Monday. Thanks!

HCCADC · December 2003

I would do what you feel comfortable doing. Don't let anyone 'push' you into something that you aren't comfortable with, or don't have a desire to do. Regardless of your decision, I want to wish you a big CONGRATULATIONS!! (Besides, if HR Manager come and go, you might have the opportunity to transfer again anyway! Ha) Have a good day!

blw · December 2003

Stepping out of your comfort zone doesn't have to mean stepping into the twilight zone. If you are happy, fulfilled, and still challenged...stay put! Money and prestige aren't everything, especially at our stage of the game.

sonny · December 2003

Ditto blw, big time

Shadowfax · December 2003

Congradulations! on your dilemma. These things are always a mix of head and heart. What part head is different for all of us. I like to make a list of pros and cons and analyze the list. That gets rid of the head part. Then, apply your heart. After you let your heart absorb all of the pros and cons, you will probably know what decision is right for you. In any event, once you have decided, don't look back. There is no way of knowing where the road not taken would have gone. Good luck!

Don D · December 2003

I often recommend the simple tool that I always use to help me decide things like this. Take a yellow legal pad (yellow is warm and less stressful) and draw vertical lines making four equal columns. Column headings are GO-PRO,GO-CON, STAY-PRO, STAY-CON. Find your self alone late one night with no distractions except maybe music. Go as far down the page as you can possibly go listing gut-honest answers in each column. Hide the pad and revisit it late the next night, alone. Correct any entries you feel are inaccurate. Count them all up and it will reinforce your heart and head both.

psrcello · December 2003

Would early morning work? I tend to be a lark, not an owl, and would probably fall asleep if I try to make any kind of a list late at night!

System · December 2003

psrcello,

I had a similar opportunity about 3 years ago. I did the "yellow-legal-pad technique" as suggested by Don. My list only confirmed what I already wanted. I stayed (with less money). I am looking more closely to retirement than I am to the upward career movement.

Money and prestige are not always a price to pay for peace. I'm happy I stayed.

mwild31 · December 2003

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 12-18-03 AT 04:54PM (CST)[/font][br][br]First - CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! - Second, you've already heard it here, a pro/con list is a must.

I would be nervous about taking a position with such a high turnover - what could be a good thing now - may turn out to be unemployment a year from now. If you feel at all comfortable with this approach, I would probably want to discuss with the new management, prior to accepting the position, what type of leeway you have in regards to setting/following policy & find out from them why the high turnover. If it's due to the plant manager's concessions, maybe you could work a deal out in writing regarding how employee issues will be handled prior to accepting?

Either way - way to go! x:-)

Leslie · December 2003

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 12-18-03 AT 03:41PM (CST)[/font][br][br]How exciting and challenging for you. Combined with the holiday season, you've got quite the week set up for yourself. All the best in your decision making process...can't give you any helpful hints - what I'd do is listed above.

Don D · December 2003

Yes, an early morning listing will work just as well. As you can tell from my 3:00 a.m. postings, that's when I would do the list also. Just as long as kids aren't running around, the TV isn't blaring and your husband is hollering something about his own priorities. To work, it should be your own version of quiet time. And remember, yellow.

marc · December 2003

Forumites have given you some great suggestions. Just a couple of additional comments/questions. Can you contact any of the former HR managers and get the lay of the land? You have already described some problems with the former dividsion president, how long has he/she been gone? Is there any reason to think the new president will fix the issues? Is the new president picking you or are you being assigned? Having ownership of the choice would be important to me if I was the president.

I have held my current job for 4 years now and it is for less money than previous opportunities, plus I have turned away opportunities to make more, but I would not change jobs now. I like what I am doing - get lots of challenges and opportunities for personal growth and my wife and I like the community we are in. When I add it all up, I get way more compensation here than the paycheck, and I value those aspects of my position quite highly.

It will take great courage and self knowledge to make either decision.

Good luck.

cebudragonlady · December 2003

The only way that money should be a factor in your decision, is that if you are now struggling to make ends meet- then go!

Chari

psrcello · December 2003

Thanks to all of you for your valuable insights.

After I posted this thread yesterday, I had a long conversation with my plant manager, who told me that I'm the best HR manager he's ever worked with. He said that from a selfish perspective, he doesn't want to lose me, but that he would never hold me back.

THEN, I got a call from the VP of HR Operations at corporate office. He told me that I've gained the respect of people throughout the company in the short time I've been here, and that regardless of my decision, he'll support me.

Good grief - flattery twice in one day!

Anyway, I told my spouse about my post and the responses I got yesterday. He has already presented me with a yellow (thanks, Don D x:D ) legal pad with a good, strong cardboard back (I always use white paper, so the change will be interesting!) I plan to start my list tomorrow morning early - just me, coffee, and a couple of lazy bum felines. Will finish up a couple of Christmas gifts during the day, then review the list Sunday morning. By then, I'm sure that the decision will become self-evident.

Money really isn't the issue here - it's a matter of whether I want to attack a whole new set of challenges, or stick around where I am to finish up on everything I've started.

Wish me luck, and I'll let you know on Monday what I end up deciding.

Dan · December 2003

First off CONGRADULATIONS! on the offer. Sounds like a great offer. Everyone here has given you good advice. Just remember it is OK not to take a position if it is not right for you. (Although moving to a city ten times smaller would be a big plus)

Dan

Human Resources Manager · December 2003

While I can't add anything to the great advice that has already been given, I just wanted to say that being offered this opportunity, as well as the kind words from your current management are a testement to what a great HR professional and what a great person you are. Whatever your decision turns out to be, none of that will change.

Be proud of your accomplishments no matter what your decision!

Beave · December 2003

I too congratulate you and encourage you to search inside yourself for the answer. You know your organization and your own personal desires much more than anyone else. Like many of the others have said, there is nothing wrong with not taking the position. On the other hand, will YOU always wonder "what if". Only you can answer those questions. It is a nice feeling to know that you have the support of your organization either way isn't it? Good luck. What a great position to be in, to end the year with.

marc · December 2003

Among your listings of pros and cons, do not forget to examine your company's relocations policies. Do they move you, even pack up your things? How about buying your existing house on the front end and putting you up on the back-end until you find a place? Are there any meaningful cost of living differences between the two locations? How about a couple of trips to the new town for you and your spouse to check out the area?

Any additional little perks, like a car allowance or joining local groups and clubs to help you both get acclimated?

I'm not suggesting you be greedy, I am just listing some things that some companies do. It may not be about money, but it shouldn't penalize you.

Good luck with your yellow pad!

moneyman · December 2003

Great ideas on the pros and cons. And you know Don's advice on the "yellow" pad is good too. Many years ago I discovered that they make a variety of other colors too. I prefer the gray or orchid pads, but they also have blue and rose. If I am using it in the office, I like the gray, it looks a littl more professional, at home I prefer orchid (lavendar really) or rose. My husband thinks I am crazy with the colors, but I think any little bit helps. (I also like colored pens!)

HRQ · December 2003

psrcello, I have no advice to add because everyone else has covered it all! There is always pressure to take another step "up" when it's offered - but not everyone wants to keep climbing that ladder. If you love the rung (sp?) you are on, then stay there. It sounds like you are still challenged with your current job. If you were bored with it, that's another story.

It's also great to hear your husband completely supports the move, should you choose it.

Personally, I'd choose pink or lavender paper. Very soothing. Yellow just doesn't do it for me. Also, remember to use a colorful pen - black or blue just don't promote creative thought as much as colored ink does. x:D

psrcello · December 2003

Well, I decided to stay put. The yellow pad technique worked wonderfully - I could only come up with one "con" for staying where I'm at, and only three "pros" for taking the transfer. On the other hand my lists of reasons for staying and against moving were extensive.

My current boss is ecstatic, my would-be new boss is disappointed, and my husband, who was so supportive of making the move is now madder than a wet hen at me for turning down such a great career opportunity. I made the mistake of sharing some of my reasons for wanting to stay here with him over the weekend, and he proceded to shoot them all down, discount the importance of these things to me, and emphasize that I should be thinking about HIM. He even turned my feeling of being content where I am into being "complacent", and that it was stupid to throw away this opportunity for reasons such as staying closer to our kids and grandkids (this was only one of my reasons!)

Anyway, I'm hoping that my stomach ache will go away now that the decision is final. Thanks to all of you for the valuable input - it's great to know that I've got a support group just a few keystrokes away!

Paula

HRQ · December 2003

Wow - what I read to be support from your spouse wasn't exactly support, it sounds like. I hope he realizes what a difficult decision it was for you to turn down a great opportunity because you stayed true to the most important priority: family. I also hope he appreciates you all the more for it, whether he realizes it today or down the road.

If the decision came from your heart, then it's the right decision, no matter what.

Don D · December 2003

I don't mean this to be offensive; but, I'm wondering why your spouse thought for even an instant that your decision should be based on what's best for him? That just doesn't quite compute and maybe we don't even need to go there. I think staying near the kids and grandkids is a monumental reason for staying put, not a small one. After all, the offer was yours, the decision was yours, the analysis was yours, the outcome is yours and the results will be yours. I hate it when negatives get in the middle of the 'yellow pad' experience. That's why I do them and recommend always that other's do them secretely. They are not a group exercise. It will take him 14 months at most to hug you and tell you that you did make the right decision.

ray a · December 2003

Wow, and people here think I'm sexist. You should be thinking about HIM???? Tell him you were "thinking about US"? I purposely didn't contribute to this thread earlier, except in my head. And if I were you, I would have made the exact same decision.

System · December 2003

I hope your husband has rethought his reaction and done everything to "take it back." I'm not really raggin' on him but his yellow pad should have had one "plus" column only that says "wife happy!"

"Sam"

jennifer jo · December 2003

I agree with everyone that you made the right decision. I've chosen to not move up because I've earned my stripes here and have the flexibility that's necessary as a working mom. My husband almost took a promotion (in town) but decided not to because he was concerned that the time commitment would interfere with family time. I consider ourselves lucky to have decent jobs that we are comfortable with. There's nothing wrong with staying in a position where you're comfortable.

Am I Too Chronologically Gifted?

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