Those spouses . . . !

mjindra · November 2003

Ray made a comment somewhere earlier about his wife viewing a recent post about Men - Old and Gray . . . something to that effect.

I have to admit, if my husband viewed some of these posts, he would wonder what it is I do during the day. He's already wondering why somebody would send me an HR Hero shirt, try explaining that out of the blue.

Considering I'm not working super hard today, x:D, I thought I would take a poll . . .

Do your spouses / significant others really understand what you do at your job? Both the serious side and the fun side?

I'll answer first: My husband is periodically a discipline problem at his employer, so we have some pretty tough battles in the evenings at times. It makes life interesting.

Parabeagle · November 2003

No spouse, but I do have a SO who definitely understands my job - because she's in HR as well for a co. down South.

ray a · November 2003

Actually the post title was "All the good ones are not married or gay", which alone could raise a few eyebrows. My wife was really wondering what I was getting in to. She made a comment once that I need to get some real friends, not just ones from this and other fora. And she also thought the HR Hero shirt was strange.

Her work experience is limited to teaching, in a private school, tutoring at home and PT in a local community college. She has no concept of what happens in a mfg environment, all the labor laws we deal with, the egos, the bruised feelings, etc. Sometimes, I really envy her.

bamahr · November 2003

My husband has cut and dries answers for all situtations that I share with him. I find that funny - because although it should be that simple it seldom is.

HRQ · November 2003

My husband doesn't understand either, why we don't "just fire people when they need to be fired". His opinion helps me though, because really none of the employees in my company know how HR works either, so their mindset is probably pretty similar to his. I bounce a lot of ideas off him, to see how a typical employee might view something I do.

flaroyale · November 2003

My husband doesn't understand what I do until he is having a problem with one of his employees and needs advice, Then he is all ears.

System · November 2003

My Husband is a chemist - who readily admits that his job is easier than mine. Dealing with people is no science.

Rockie · November 2003

My husband is a retired university professor and he retired after 25 years because of the same issues I face every day. I do bounce things (ideas) off him from time to time and he can't believe how people act nowdays.

My husband's favorite reply "You make me glad I am retired." I often sigh when I leave him and my two Yorkies asleep in the bed every morning.

San Francisco · November 2003

My husband does understand a great deal about my job, my company and all the major players. He actually remembers situations that occurred years ago better than I do. He really hasn't so much advise that he can give me, but he has been a tremendous support to me especially these past few years where we have undergone some difficult cultural and operational changes. I don't know how I could do this job without him.

Elizabeth

blw · November 2003

I think my husband understands that my job is difficult (layoffs, terms, etc.) but he can't seem to get it that it isn't just 8-5. He has a real hard time with me not just leaving at 5:00!

Also, like another poster mentioned he sees things very black & white and has the answer to everything! He doesn't see all the nuances!

marc · November 2003

Good polling idea.

My wife runs a labschool childcare operation for a community colloge and has a lot of HR issues. She is almost independent from the HR department at the college, but must deal with a handbook created for an educational institution. That said, our philosophies are very different. She has a hard-nosed, tough love kind of attitude and takes a no-nonsense approach that is refreshing. My organization is a non-profit that I think hired every feeler within 100 square miles. This attitude goes all the way to the Exec. Dir. (who will deny it). It is refreshing to discuss issues because we can generally bracket a problem or question with our different approaches. If we do not get to caught up with argueing about it, the solution is often somewhere in the middle.

mwild31 · November 2003

No spouse or SO - but it is fun to tell my 9-year old about some of the things that are said by our employees (edited of course). I told him recently about an UI appeal hearing I was going to attend & how the former employee thought she was 'right' for walking off the job and wanted the judge to grant her UI. My son wanted to know why she walked off & I told him she didn't think is was right that she had to stamp the mail instead of another employee who was closer to the mail (even though IT WAS HER JOB TO DO IT & she had been stamping it since she started 3 months prior). His response - "That girls is a baby - I can come in and stamp the mail if you want, Mom." I love that kid.

marc · November 2003

So you can hire him, then go after the company for violating child labor laws and settle if they fund his college education. Nice, I knew this HR career had potential. If the emoticons worked, I would be winking now.

mwild31 · November 2003

always need a plan "B" x;-)

Parabeagle · November 2003

Always figured you had a little larceny in your blood, Mwild... x;-)

Oh, wait! I can't say that, can I? It runs afoul of the Genetic Information Nondiscrimination Act!!!

TALLEY · November 2003

The fact that my husband doesn't understand HR really smacked me square in the head just today. I lost my job at the beginning of September. And although I've submitted my resume' for many different positions (HR and other jobs), he knows I really want to remain with HR. He came home tonight and asked how my day went - did I find anything promising "in that area you're interested in?"

I know he doesn't understand why I just can't get excited about opportunities that aren't HR related and I think he's afraid I'll refuse work that isn't HR. And, to be honest, I don't know what I'll do if an alternative offer is made.

HRQ · November 2003

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 11-11-03 AT 04:06PM (CST)[/font][br][br]Mwild31 - my mom writes a monthly article and uses stuff my kids say as examples of how adults should behave, such as "stop it - I don't like it when you do that" instead of backstabbing or lawsuits when they are upset.

I like your son's attitude. x:D

mwild31 · November 2003

Thanks HRQ! x:-)

Mentel · November 2003

This is a good survey. My husband has been a plant controller most of his career and has now been made the temporary plant manager since his boss quit. So now he gets to do both jobs! He finally has a real feel for HR since he just downsized by 20 people yesterday in the plant and has to cut one more in the office. For the most part, he feels HR is not work but fun. He can't believe that I get paid for what I do although he admits that he depends on his HR Manager a lot more now. I think that bean counters feel that their work is important since they have the numbers to prove it. They just don't get what it is like to deal with employee problems, legal nuances, performance issues and flubs by managers all day long!!! This job would drive him crazy.

System · November 2003

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 11-12-03 AT 11:27AM (CST)[/font][br][br]My SO works with me but is the IT guy. He has a pretty good idea of what I do. The only problem is that our management team values his contribution to the company because it helps bring IN the dough whereas they have NO IDEA what I do only that an HR department is necessary. He doesn't quite get my frustration with management cause they practically worship him.
He knows to give me sympathy and succor when I spend an hour or so after work crying in frustration every once in a while.

Paul in Cannon Beach · November 2003

My wife worked for our organization for 8 years before becoming a full-time mother so she knows alot about the environment I work in. I value her insight so I use her as a sounding board alot.

One thing I have learned is to balance good and bad news with her. If I always share my frustrations and complaints, she gets a skewed view of things. I realized that in a big way a few years ago.

The only thing she doesn't seem to always understand is the complexity of some issues. She is fairly black and white too. Sometimes she can't understand why we put up with a problem employee.

She definitely understands HR though and she knows I have an important job. That helps alot!

Paul in CB

marc · November 2003

>She is fairly black and white too. <

Are you checkerboard patterns or stripes or some sort of paisley? I suspect the kids are very interesting.x;-)

Paul in Cannon Beach · November 2003

What I meant by "black and white" is that she is lovely, caring, supportive, and charming... and she is standing over my shoulder as we speak.

Paul in Cannon Beach

marc · November 2003

Great picture of the two of you in your profile. I assume that is your wife, if not, don't let her read this post! In any event, I hope you saw the wink at the end of my teasing post, all meant in good fun. Besides, anyone who plays golf as a hobby knows they can get away with unusual outfits on the golf course, so maybe my comments should have referenced golfing togs. Have a good evening.

Marc

Paul in Cannon Beach · November 2003

Marc,

I used to have some light purple pants that I wore with an Arnold Palmer hot pink shirt, big white belt and white golf shoes.

I literally frightened the ball into the hole!

Paul in CB

mdm · November 2003

This is my first post. I am a bean counter and had no HR experience until 2 years ago when I started my current job. I was just to oversee HR and now I am the HR dept. I deal with the upset, angry employees, etc. I spend more time on HR than accounting. Thankfully I have an accounting assistant and that allows me to focus on HR.

My SO is a validation engineer. He understands very little about HR, but he is supportive and gives me lots of credit for everything I have to deal with in HR.

Parabeagle · November 2003

Welcome to the field, hope you find HR more rewarding than accounting. And when you get up to eating 10 rolls of Tums a day, you'll find it's cheaper to get them at Costco. x;-)

cebudragonlady · November 2003

After any of those "stressed-out" days at this factory, I come home to listen to my stay-at-home spouse tell me about the housework,blah blah ..I then tell him that I would be very glad to stay home if I could afford to do so !

Chari

mdm · November 2003

Thanks for the advice. I am a quick learner and have found HR to be rewarding in a different way than accounting. Most of the stressful ees have left or been asked to leave (the ones that yell at you and tell you that you don't know how to do your job).

Leslie · November 2003

My SO is in construction. He just looked at me in amazement about some of the hoops I'd jump through to document, document, document. In his opinion, it was simply FIRE THE IDIOT. Well one day he did just that and the idiot was awarded UI. He was infuriated. I told him to appeal, go to the hearing and tell the judge he will put the guy back to work. He didn't like that idea much more than paying the UI. I told him, look, the guy will either screw up again, and this time you WILL document and not have to pay UI, or you'll end up with a decent employee. When he left the company about six months later, the guy was still working. And now that he has his own company he asks before he acts.

PS - don't worry mdm, it's only the first five years that are the hardest!

psrcello · November 2003

My spouse and I are both natural-born talkers and learners, so we discuss both of our jobs quite a lot. I think he's got a fairly good handle on what I do and why it's sometimes frustrating but generally rewarding.

He's a sales rep for a computer furniture/cabinet manufacturer, and he offices at home. He spends a lot of his time on the phone, driving, or both, and I think he envies the fact that I'm around people all day. On the other hand, although he's not retired, he's always still asleep in the morning with our two cats when I leave for work - sometimes I wish I had that luxury!

Those spouses . . . !

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