Panhandling Parents and Snotty Teachers
HRGirl
290 Posts
I need to vent!!!
My daughter started school on the 27th of August. The very first day, she came home with a Christmas fundraiser due tomorrow!!!! What is up with that, couldn't they have waited maybe a few weeks.
I know that in another month, they will have another fundraiser for some stupid crap that people only buy to be nice. I am so tired of being a panhandling parent, I can barely stand myself.
Now Snotty Teachers are another burr under my saddle! My mother has taught in the public school system for 50 years (and no retirement in sight for her)and my father in law is a retired biology teacher (from the school district that my daughter attends) and my mother in law is a reading specialist, I know a few things about the curriculum and what is expected of my child. Why is it that I get the teacher that thinks she needs to talk down to me? Who does she think she is? Does she think she is superior to me? I think NOT! I have bitten my tongue damn near clear off. When she asked me "Should I call you at home or do you work?" in that look down your nose tone made me boil with RAGE! I think she thought that since I stay with my daughter until she goes into the school and not just dump her at the curb and screech away, I must not work. That I can start my work day at 9:30 instead of earlier must mean I don't work. What she should have asked me was what time do you work until (5:30 thanks to the school changing the start time now...that another burr that I won't get into)?
Okay....I'm done now. Thank you for letting me get that off my chest.
My daughter started school on the 27th of August. The very first day, she came home with a Christmas fundraiser due tomorrow!!!! What is up with that, couldn't they have waited maybe a few weeks.
I know that in another month, they will have another fundraiser for some stupid crap that people only buy to be nice. I am so tired of being a panhandling parent, I can barely stand myself.
Now Snotty Teachers are another burr under my saddle! My mother has taught in the public school system for 50 years (and no retirement in sight for her)and my father in law is a retired biology teacher (from the school district that my daughter attends) and my mother in law is a reading specialist, I know a few things about the curriculum and what is expected of my child. Why is it that I get the teacher that thinks she needs to talk down to me? Who does she think she is? Does she think she is superior to me? I think NOT! I have bitten my tongue damn near clear off. When she asked me "Should I call you at home or do you work?" in that look down your nose tone made me boil with RAGE! I think she thought that since I stay with my daughter until she goes into the school and not just dump her at the curb and screech away, I must not work. That I can start my work day at 9:30 instead of earlier must mean I don't work. What she should have asked me was what time do you work until (5:30 thanks to the school changing the start time now...that another burr that I won't get into)?
Okay....I'm done now. Thank you for letting me get that off my chest.
Comments
Needless to say, selling chocolate candy bars wasn't so easy right then.
As for the talking down part, not acceptable. I taught for an anti-poverty program and I treated every parent with the kindness and respect they deserved. We encouraged parents to work so they could got out of the poverty cycle and if they could not attend a field trip, so be it. Many parents did not speak English and they were embaressed to come into the classroom and would barely speak to me, even with a translater. But when they spoke to other parents who did speak English they found out that I didn't care what language they spoke, every parent was welcome to spend the day with their child. And since I had a few children who didn't speak English it worked out for everyone. It did wonders for their self esteem and the children loved hearing a story in Spanish from a native speaker instead of from me, just reading the words with a really bad accent and not knowing what they mean.
I was a teacher for 2 years fresh out of college many, many years ago. I taught general music classes, instrumental lessons and directed the choirs in middle and high school. Dealing with a large group of teens everyday was very taxing. But, that doesn't excuse bad behavior from a teacher toward a parent. My biggest gripe was parents who told their kids they didn't care what kind of a grade they received in music just please do better in math, history, etc. Well, the kids would announce this in my class and of course I lost them for the quarter - and half the other kids said, "yeah, me too." Hey, after I quit teaching, my gray hair went away for another 4 years.
My daughters are in high school and every student in cheerleading, dance, gymnastics, etc. has to raise a certain amount of money to pay for uniforms, accessories, camps, etc..
I try to encourage each group to do the kind of things where the children can go to one location and sell, rather than doing the door-to-door stuff where you always have to hit up family and friends. Car washes do well, and the kids have fun. Also yard sales, and setting up a table at the mall or grocery store where they can sell candy bars, Krispy Kreme donuts, etc.. They are all a lot of work, but I prefer these kind over the door-to-door stuff. Sometimes a group will say that each child has to donate a certain amount of money, and then the group organizes fundraising so you can decide if you just want to pay the money or participate in whatever fundraising options they have. Sometimes its easier to just write a check for $25, but when it gets higher (sometimes over $100) then I tell my kids they have to raise at least a certain amount, or pay it themselves. This encourages them to participate in the fundraisers without me having to prod them. I realize this does not work as well when they are in elementary, but some of these ideas might work for you.
Last year one group had the kids sell candles (great candles, but $20 each, and the girls got about $5 of that!) My daughter could not understand why I did not want to help her out by buying several candles. I explained it to her, now she understands.
Also, at the elementary level, a school carnival or other similar event is a nice fundraising option instead of selling 'stuff.' They are a lot of work, but everyone has fun.
As for the teachers: I have had all kinds, but in general I find that they mean well, even if they are not great at relating to the parents. Try to be patient with her, and tell her specifically what you need from her, and how and when she should contact you. Try not to take offense, realize that she deals with all kinds of strange poeple, and she does not yet know if you are one of them or not!
Good Luck, and have a great school year!
As far as fundraising, I am also an Avon rep and we do fundraisers for schools. The reason this is catching on (not just Avon, but other companies that sell "everyday items") is because people are sick of buying a $5.00 bag of chocolate covered nuts or a $7.00 roll of wrapping paper. Go to the school and let them know that you're not going to do it. Demand that they find something more practical, there are other options. These PTAs and school functions get into the same routine every year and never question their choices after a couple years. Tell them to choose something where the prices AREN'T jacked sky high.
You want to talk about frustration in the schools, then we'll talk about my taxes going up over 15% in one year, even though the liason officers have been removed from the schools, BUT the Superintendent has been given a huge raise. . . Oh, don't get me started . . .
I don't ever remember my mother doing fundraisers, in fact I don't think she does them to this day. I guess what really digs in my crawl is that they say the money is for a sign for the school...been a year still no sign...or its for field trips...been a year...my kid didn't go on one field trip last year. I join the PTA every year and help where and when I can. I just don't like not seeing anything being done with the money that I panhandle for. The funniest thing is part of the money last year was raised for grounds keeping at the school...The President of the PTA cut the grass (saw him every time he did it), planted the flowers, etc. Did I just sell 300 bucks worth of hoagies for him to cut the grass?? I know the flowers were donated by Home Depot so they didn't pay for that!
As for Teachers, I guess I am use to seeing my mother deal with parents. She always treated them with the respect they deserved even if they didn't. Don't get me wrong, I know that teachers have a hard job these days, and I would NEVER trade with them (although 3 months off in the summer sounds awesome). I know they try to do their best. I guess since I've quit smoking, I'm a little edgy.
Our PTO president has made changes in our fundraising and we can actually see the improvements in the school. My son has to sell the items to family and limited friends AND he has to tell them what the funds will be used for. (This year it's grass for the soccer field and blinds for the auditorium.)
Speaking of snotty teachers, I think that sometimes they are overwhelmed with all the kids and at least that many parents to contact. A divorced friend of mine was miffed when the teacher didn't email him about parent-teacher conference dates nor did she copy everything to send home so that he could have a copy. I explained to him that we parents need to COMMUNICATE with the teachers so that they know where we are coming from and we know where they are coming from. He communicated his desires for better communication and guess what? The teacher started helping out with copies and emails to him.
The one snotty teacher that I have had to deal with is my son's gifted teacher. I believe that she thinks my son does not have a "gifted parent" as I ask a lot of questions to clarify assignments. Being in HR - I NEVER ASSUME anything!