Lawyers
Parabeagle
3,085 Posts
A BILL TO REGULATE THE HUNTING AND HARVESTING OF ATTORNEYS
372.01 Any person with a valid California state rodent hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational and sporting (noncommercial) purposes.
372.02 Taking of attorneys with traps and dead falls is permitted. The use of United States currency as bait is, however, prohibited.
372.03 The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle is prohibited, unless such motor vehicle is an ambulance being driven in reverse. If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the dead attorney should be removed to the roadside and the vehicle should proceed to the nearest car wash.
372.04 It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a power boat, helicopter, or fixed-wing aircraft.
372.05 It is unlawful to shout "whiplash," "ambulance," or "free Scotch" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
372.06 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within one-hundred yards of BMW, Porsche, or Mercedes dealerships, except on Wednesday afternoons.
372.07 it is unlawful to hunt attorneys within two hundred yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health clubs, country clubs or hospitals.
372.08 If an attorney gains elective office, it is not necessary to have a license to hunt, trap or possess same.
372.09 It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise as a reporter, accident victim, physician, chiropractor or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.
372.10 Bag limits per day:
Yellow-bellied sidewinders 2
Two-faced Tort-teasers 1
Back-stabbing Divorce Litigators 3
Horn-rimmed Cutthroats 2
Honest Attorneys 0 - Protected species
372.01 Any person with a valid California state rodent hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational and sporting (noncommercial) purposes.
372.02 Taking of attorneys with traps and dead falls is permitted. The use of United States currency as bait is, however, prohibited.
372.03 The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle is prohibited, unless such motor vehicle is an ambulance being driven in reverse. If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the dead attorney should be removed to the roadside and the vehicle should proceed to the nearest car wash.
372.04 It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a power boat, helicopter, or fixed-wing aircraft.
372.05 It is unlawful to shout "whiplash," "ambulance," or "free Scotch" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
372.06 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within one-hundred yards of BMW, Porsche, or Mercedes dealerships, except on Wednesday afternoons.
372.07 it is unlawful to hunt attorneys within two hundred yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health clubs, country clubs or hospitals.
372.08 If an attorney gains elective office, it is not necessary to have a license to hunt, trap or possess same.
372.09 It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise as a reporter, accident victim, physician, chiropractor or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.
372.10 Bag limits per day:
Yellow-bellied sidewinders 2
Two-faced Tort-teasers 1
Back-stabbing Divorce Litigators 3
Horn-rimmed Cutthroats 2
Honest Attorneys 0 - Protected species
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