Differences Between Ladies and Real Women!!

Enjoy!

Ladies - If you accidentally over-salt a dish while
it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it
will absorb the excess salt for an instant
"fix-me-up."

Real Women - If you over-salt a dish while you are
cooking, that's too damn bad. Please recite with me,
The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat
it and I don't care how bad it tastes."

**********************

Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in
half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will
go away.

Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with
tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the
headache, but who cares?

**********************

Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom
of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of
the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on
the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.

**********************

Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an
apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and keep
it in the pantry for up to a year.

**********************

Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the
baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead
and there won't be any white mess on the inside of
the cake.

Real Women - Go to the bakery - they'll
even decorate it for you.

***********************

Ladies - Brush some
beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to
yield a beautiful glossy finish.

Real Women - Sara Lee frozen pie directions do not
include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I just don't do it.

************************

Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try
using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip
grip that makes opening jars easy.

Real Women - Go
ask the cute neighbor guy to do it.

************************

And finally the most important tip....

Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine.
Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles
and sauces.

Real Women - Leftover wine?? x:P

Comments

  • 27 Comments sorted by Votes Date Added
  • I am sending this to all my friends...
  • [font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 08-21-03 AT 02:38PM (CST)[/font][p]I've seen a version of this entitled The Differences between Martha Stewart and Real Women. My favorite is the leftover wine. I always finish the wine...can't let the stuff turn to vinegar y'know. x:9
  • Just checking to see if replies are showing up on my posting. I've gotten two notifications of new replies, but none are shown. Any ideas?
  • Never mind....now they are showing up. Glad you enjoyed it! I AM A REAL WOMAN, HEAR ME WHINE!
  • Very cute..hmmm wonder what the talley is between Ladies and real women on the forum. .
  • I would give my opinion, but I have caused enough trouble the past couple of weeks.
  • "If you over-salt a dish while you are
    cooking, that's too damn bad. Please recite with me,
    The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat
    it and I don't care how bad it tastes."

    My husband is trained to eat what is placed in front of him and say thank you and yum-yum. Failure to do so has devastating consequences.

    The other 'real woman' categories sound like me too.


    Anne in Ohio
  • Okay Ray, I just seriously re-read this thing. Two of the "lady's" things I have actually done - used a potato to unsalt a dish, and egg white to glaze a pie crust (actually, my mom taught me to use milk, so it's what I do). The other five lady's things have never entered my mind. So I'm 5-2 real woman. I kind of like the way that sounds. x:D
  • [font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 08-21-03 AT 03:55PM (CST)[/font][p]The "real woman" is totally me. The difference? I do not cook!!!! And there is never any leftover wine! That would just be wrong.
  • I have a funny story for you...let me begin by saying I have trained my husband to always say whatever is placed in front of him is soooo delicious wether it is or not. I had my nephew (then somewhere around 14 yrs old) over for movie night and to have dinner and spend the night. I had whipped up dinner in a flash, if I remember correctly it was steak with mashed tatters and corn on the cob. We all sat down at the table and my husband had dug in with gusto...my daughter (then 4 yrs old) picked her way along and my nephew pushed his food around the plate. I asked him what was wrong and he started with "well". I could hear my husband draw in his breath! I never took my eyes of my nephew...he continued with "my mom doesn't cook my steak this much and well there are lumps in the potatoes." When he finally stopped, I looked around and my husband and daughter had taken their plates and disappeared. You could have heard a pin drop...from somewhere in the inner sanctum of the house, a little voice yells out..."is it okay to come back to the table now???" My husband and daughter tip toed back to the table and my husband who never looked up from his plate said only one thing to my nephew...."Don't ever ever ever do that again...just eat what she puts in front of you!"

    I guess that puts me in the real woman category. There is never any left over wine, eat what I give you and keep your mouth shut is the motto here!
  • Must be all real woman here!
    No left-over wine and everyone eats whatever they eat or goes hungry.
  • After reading the posts about how women "train" their husbands, especially in the arena of eating whatever's in front of you and LIKING IT (kinda reminds me of boot camp but that's another story), all I can say is I'm glad I'm single. x;-)
  • In my defense, Parabeagle, my husband retired in 1988 (age 41) and now does some property management and investment management which takes about six days a month. He plays golf six days a week (weather permitting) and takes off to play exotic courses at his leisure. On the other hand, I work six days a week (usually) and my job is enjoyable but stressful. My cooking is plain but good. I always ask if he is in the mood for anything in particular and always hear, “Oh, anything is alright with me.” Well then, it had better be.

    I love him anyway, the big spoiled brat.


    Anne in Ohio
  • Real Woman Here

    Don't know who has seen the beer commercial - where a comment is made about making picnic eggs. The lady who can is referred to as theh Queen. That is my Sister-In-Law - great cook. We are watching this commercial - my brother asks his wife can you make picinic eggs? She of course says yes - he then says she is the Queen. I of course did not know what a picinic egg was - (deviled) - my husband looks at me -then states you got the Queen and I got the Court Jester. We all laughed - then she explained to me that a picinic egg and deviled were the same things.

    I call everything I burn "Blackened" - sounds very fancy. Oh well - have other qualities.
  • Hey, finally a thread with mostly female posters. How about that.

    Leslie, in my book, you are a real woman who happens to be a lady.
  • Funny

    I am defintely a real woman due to attitude. But I love to cook! So I guess I'm a lady too. It depends on the day of the week I guess! Hey, when I'm watching sports on TV and drinking some "good" beer, stuffing my face with nachos & hot wings, followed up with a good cigar ~ I can be one of the guys too. And trust me, I never leave any beer or wine in the bottle..
  • Need I say it? I'm definitely in the 'Real Woman' category. However, what is very strange is that I have an extremely extensive collection of kitchen utensils and appliances - not sure what they all do or how they all work - but I have them...
  • I'm with you mwild! I own all of the gadgets that have any use in the kitchen. I'm definitely a real woman rather than a lady, BUT, I don't actually cook much. Hubby has supper waiting every night.

    Only when he wants fajitas do I cook. That's my specialty.

    And as far as the wine, I'd rather have a beer.
  • Isn't it strange - all of the appliances & utensils - but hardly any cooking! Do you think it's a guilt complex we have or something? x:-) Or is it a leftover from childhood games, like playing house, making Barbie Dreamhouses 'just so' with our own unique furniture items, etc.?


  • Unasked, here's what you find in the kitchen of a "real" man (at least this one): A stove. A refrigerator/freezer. A microwave. A toaster oven. A coffee maker. What more do you need? x:-)
  • What...no empty beer bottles, leftover pizza boxes from 3 weeks ago, sweaty gym socks on the counters, crazy rock posters on the walls, pictures of your buddies fishing on the refrigerator....Come on Beagle - what's missing from your list x;-)
  • I'm not a COMPLETE savage. I have recycle bins. One for the beer/pop cans, one for the cardboard pizza boxes, cereal boxes, instant potato boxes, etc., and one for all the newspapers, junk mail, yadda yadda yadda. x;-)
  • Whew! What a relief! A CLEAN savage, I mean man! x;-)
  • Definitely from childhood games.

    I have utensils that will cut a watermelon or green peppers into jagged little containers to make fancy fruit bowls out of watermelons and dip holders out of green peppers.

    I can cut fancy cheese slices, I can slice tomatoes paper thin and I could probably grate rocks if I had a good reason.

    I love to give parties and have a huge feast set up, but the day-to-day thing bores me to death. If it wasn't for everybody else in the family, I would eat cheese slices all day until I combusted. Cheese slices and chocolate chips. No lie.
  • Can't...stop....laughing!

    Only so true, for me:

    I have an awesome garlic grater - even though I don't like garlic (never used of course).

    I have a food processor - I don't know why since I also have a microwave x;-)

    I too have fancy cheese slicers - any cut you want, I can do it at my house!

    I think it's childhood for me - an extension of my Barbie Dreamhouse!
  • Beagle: This is apparently a girl-only thread, but what the heck. A real man will have in his kitchen: A refrigerator of some description with no coupons or Florida magnets on it; A George Foreman grill sitting berside the 'Fry Daddy'; two cast iron skillets properly seasoned that he lets nobody touch; No garlic slicer but a garter belt someone left on the back of the bar stool; No girley plug-in kitchez gizmo appliances but maybe one girley, battery operated appliance left in the kitchen by mistake; a really old corkscrew that doubles as a top remover for trendy ales and other bottles without screw-off tops; A spoon rest on top of the stove with months of accumulated drippings from the variety of things you have cooked to perfection and it must never be washed; a drainer board that has way-over exceeded it's load limit in dirty dishes; a folded hand-towel that has not yet been used fourteen times; a paper sack labelled 'cans only' that is full of pizza crust, aluminum foil and coffee grinds; one wall clock sporting the name of a really old beer that they quit making but the clock keeps time within plus or minus 30 minutes; one broom in the corner; a kitchen table with somewhere just under 12 pounds of crumbs on it; and, a sign that says 'Welcome to my kitchen, requests honored, visitors honored, no cooking allowed except by host. No women with hyphenated names'.
  • Sounds like the typical MS love shack. But I'm surprised you would have a Geroge Foreman grill. Those things are so small you can barely get two decent sized burgers on em. I can see a Weber bar-b-que grill sitting on the patio just outside the kitchen door. Now that's cookin!
Sign In or Register to comment.