HR Haiku Contest
Paul in Cannon Beach
4,703 Posts
I am starting the un-official HR Hero Haiku contest. I don't really have any good prizes. I do have my HR Hero contest t-shirt that I won for having the funniest (true) employee excuse. I could throw that in but I am really hoping that Margaret or James or Christy will eventually co-opt this contest and offer a really cool prize.
Remember, a haiku has 3 lines and 17 syllabes distributed in 5, 7 and 5 format. I am including three of my own examples:
Bob's first day at work
Orientation goes well
Guarantees nothing
Watching her again
my new assistant is not
doing anything
Silent whispers call
to me, come back to read new
threads in the forum
Ok, got it? Maybe Margaret would be willing to be the judge. Good luck!
Remember, a haiku has 3 lines and 17 syllabes distributed in 5, 7 and 5 format. I am including three of my own examples:
Bob's first day at work
Orientation goes well
Guarantees nothing
Watching her again
my new assistant is not
doing anything
Silent whispers call
to me, come back to read new
threads in the forum
Ok, got it? Maybe Margaret would be willing to be the judge. Good luck!
Comments
Margaret Morford
theHRedge
615-371-8200
[email]mmorford@mleesmith.com[/email]
[url]http://www.thehredge.net[/url]
I can't come to work there today
I'm sick and at home I must stay
But imagine the gall
She turns up at the mall
But still wants sick benefit pay!
Some advice from my former boss, Lloyd--
Union companies are best to avoid
They’ll sure drive you nuts
No ifs, ands, or buts
And you’ll live your life most annoyed.
There was an old man - Don D.
Who lolled 'neath his bottle tree
In giving us advice
He offered plenty of spice
"Quit bitchin," he said, "It's free!"
Ritaanz from the state of AZ
Was as helpful as helpful could be
It was her role on The Forum
To restore some decorum
Especially to that curdmugeon Don D!
The man from the beach named Paul
Really demonstarted a great deal of gall
We all came to rue
The dreaded haiku
It's making us bounce off the wall!
Margaret Morford
theHRedge
615-371-8200
[email]mmorford@mleesmith.com[/email]
[url]http://www.thehredge.net[/url]
Christy Reeder
Website Managing Editor
[url]www.HRhero.com[/url]
Glad to have found her
Much better than I had hoped
How long will she stay
I seek HR help
The Forumites I consult
Their advice is sage
Employment at Will
Is a legal myth for sure
Guarantees little
Job Application
Fill it with untruths and lies
Get hired anyway
Rather be at home
Working on a Holiday
Nothing completed
Much time to think of Haiku
Here are my others
What no work today
Reading at reception desk
Put the book away
How 'bout this excuse
In late signed bank loan papers
Bank closed holiday
Left early today
Can't possibly work so sick
Boss spied at same game
Need forum's advice
Employee being too nice
Grounds for harassment
Are not many in my state
Lost my umbrella
Sorry! Couldn't help myself.
Oh, the phone it keeps ringing
The insurance quotes it keeps bringing
The rates are a rip
The salesman a drip
???????????????????????????
I came out to HR-de-har-har to ask for the funniest ways people recover from having to terminate an employee. No matter how clear a necessity, ending the employment relationship this way just stinks. Now here you are with the answer to my question, even before I got here! Here's my two-minute haiku therapy:
we thought it would work
we tried and tried, but alas,
good luck and good bye
Hope everyone is having a better Tuesday than me!
Jessica
I can't get to work
My car is broke and won't work
And my soap is on
Can't get in today
My wife just found us again
This time she might leave
Anyone else get these?
I hate to leave the Forum
Wait til tomorrow...
**********************
Lay-offs, bad layoffs
Won't ever get easier
Hate this part of job
staff meeting drags on
suddenly fascinated
by my fingernail
open enrollment
i realize i forgot
to announce last month
my new computer
shiny new powerful now
obsolete too soon
sad face, wife asks why
bad day at work? Not that...
bad day in forum!
Ok I better stop...
Paul
I too have had many meetings where all kinds of things suddently become so interesting (shoes, dirt speck on wall, the hum of the water machine)
Must be example
The sale of drugs is not good
So long to you both
Need the jokes to get me through
Help from Forum friends
Not being strategic now
Composing verses
Why this method, Paul
To break us from our labors
Work is suffering
Not a problem, though
It is good for mental health
Will break for work now
ooh ooh... I sense a haiku.. (could just be gas)
Break for work. Not good.
Priorities all messed up.
Long forced break might come.
Budget meeting time.
Poker faces reveal not.
Who will take the pot.
Mountain reaches sky
Summit never to be climbed.
In-box paperwork.
what was not done then
will remain undone today
and tomorrow too.
Ok, time to stop and break for work.
Paul
Thank goodness I can return
Haiku, here I come
California man
Embraces liberal stuff
Has odd views sometimes
Phoenix gal to day
Has plenty of time for fun
Four day work weeks rule
You from Tennessee
Eating now for 2 not 1
You take care you hear?
We fools play Haiku
None among us doth excel
Least it ain't tanka
There was an old woman named Margaret
Who made of herself quite a target.
Skillfully herding us into a Forum,
A place sometimes void of decorum.
Adopting us, that day she will rue,
Like the Old Woman In The Proverbial Shoe.
(Hell, I just could not resist taking a stab at poetry (and Margaret) x:-)
Dan has made an appearance
The world is happy
Till you call him by his name
Which is Don not Dan.
I had a mental moment
It's Friday ya know
x:-8
It is howdy partner here
Lascivious grin
;;)
I knew if I posted those limericks, we'd hear from you. It's sort of equivalent to poking a stick in a hornets' nest! I was under the mistaken impression that I was safe because nothing rhymes with Margaret. I should have known better!
Paul???
Margaret Morford
theHRedge
615-371-8200
[email]mmorford@mleesmith.com[/email]
[url]http://www.thehredge.net[/url]