Office romance
Joan
6 Posts
Does anyone have a "Mutual consent form" that is used when two employees are having a romantic relationship?
They are not in the same department and one does not supervise the other.
They are not in the same department and one does not supervise the other.
Comments
Sorry Joan, we don't have a need for such a form in our office. Folks in NH need all the heat they can get this time of year... xB-)
Since our staff consists of only 75, and we are all in one location, it is pretty hard to transfer or relocate one of the employees.
My opinion is that if the relationship does not affect their performance (work performance, that is)then let them be! Just wanted to find out others' opinions, or if anyone used such an agreement form.
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>My opinion is that if the relationship does not
>affect their performance (work performance, that
>is)then let them be!
And what if in the future someone claims that the relationship was a work performance? Furthermore, II find it difficult to believe that anyone, because of company policy, would go to a manager and tell them about it (particularly if one of the parties is married).
We have a very good nepotism policy, but still a "secret" in office romance lead to a marriage, which lead to a resignation (which UI called a termination) which is now leading to harassment from the x-wife, and a workplace potential mess. Wish both of them would have resigned/terminated.
These things have a way of becoming everybody's problem when they go south -- which they often do.
Happy New Year, anyhow.
I've never experienced (or witnessed) any success with non-frat policies. Don't think it's unique to me, but it's on the order of legislating civility!!!!! It's just awkward and difficult to do. Certainly with a smaller workforce, the problem can be identified quicker, but in my world of 3,000 ee's, it's just not practical, nor effective. I've always felt that the "problem" usually manifests itself in actual job performance and can be handled that way vs. trying to obstruct the romancing issue.
Example 1
Consensual Relationship Contract
Employee A, employed by the Company as a job title and Employee B, employed by the Company as a job title, hereby notify the Company that we wish to enter into a voluntary and mutual consensual social relationship. In entering into this relationship, we both understand and agree that we are both free to end the social relationship at any time. Should the social relationship end, we both agree that we shall not allow the breakup to negatively impact the performance of our duties.
Prior to signing this Consensual Relationship Contract, we received and reviewed the Company's Sexual Harassment Policy, a copy of which is attached hereto. By signing below, we acknowledge that the social relationship between us does not violate the Company's Sexual Harassment Policy, and that entering into the social relationship has not been made a condition or term of employment.
By signing below, we also acknowledge that, under the Confidential Medical Information Act, the Company is prohibited from releasing to one of us any information regarding the other's medical condition, disability or communicable disease.
Employee A (Signature) Employee B (Signature)
Employee A (Print Name) Employee B (Print Name)
Date Date
#1 thing a consultant shouldn't say: "I could tell you the answer right now, but we're committed to a three month project..." #-o
My belief is still that these type of agreements create more problems than if the employees were handled strictly based on performance. You'll have trouble enforcing the contract.
"Should the social relationship end, we both agree that we shall not allow the breakup to negatively impact the performance of our duties."
...and therein lies the problem with these situations. There is no way to have that statement have any meaning when the breakup (or worse) comes.
When the romance is going good -- the world is wonderful and the couple can not imagine it being any different. Then you have the situation changing and all h_ _ _ can break out.
TRUE STORY: This morning the former employee husband calls and wants ME to stop the ex-wife from calling our workplace and harassing his current wife. Honest -- this is happening as we speak. You can imagine what I told him (in a calm and rational voice, I may add)!
scorpio
p.s. Is a mutual consent form even legal? Can an ee be asked to sign such a thing?
A 'social relationship contract', hmmmm. I have a social relationship with a number of people on the Forum, but, sex with very few of them, and none of them involves a contract. Well...with NONE of them, I should say. But, it all depends on the definition of 'is'.
I failed to mention that the contract pertains only to a supervisor/subordinate relationship.
I agree with S Moll that the large majority of the contract is covered in other areas. The fact of the matter is, the contract is the single biggest deterrent we have to minimize/eliminate supervisor/subordinate relationships in our company without having to outright make them against company policy and a terminating offense.
#1 thing a consultant shouldn't say: "I could tell you the answer right now, but we're committed to a three month project..." #-o
Purpose: Consenting "romantic" or sexual relationships between a supervisor/manager and an employee may at some point lead to unhappy complications and significant difficulties for all concerned, including the employee, the supervisor/manager and the Company. Any such relationship may, therefore, be contrary to the best interests of the Company.
1. The Company strongly discourages such relationships and any conduct (such as dating between a supervisor/manager and an employee) that is designed or may reasonably be expected to lead to the formation of a "romantic" or sexual relationship. By its discouragement of romantic and sexual relationships, the Company does not intend to inhibit the social interaction (such as lunches or dinners or attendance at entertainment events) that are or should be an important part or extension of the working environment; and the policy articulated above is not to be relied upon as justification or excuse for a supervisor's/manager's refusal to engage in such social interaction with employees.
2. The company recognizes the ambiguity of and the variety of meanings that can be given to the term "romantic". It is assumed, or at least hoped, however, that either or both of the parties to such a relationship will appreciate the meaning of the term as it applies to either or both of them and will act in a manner consistent with this policy.
3. If a romantic or sexual relationship between a supervisor/manager and an employee should develop, it shall be the responsibility and mandatory obligation of the supervisor/manager promptly to disclose the existence of the relationship to the employee's Department Head. The employee should make the disclosure as well, but the burden of doing so shall be upon the supervisor/manager. Upon disclosure of this relationship, both parties will be required by the Company to execute the attached relationship contract (Example 1).
4. The Department Head shall inform the Director of Human Resources and others with a need-to-know of the existence of the relationship, including in all cases the person responsible for the employee's work assignments.
5. Upon learning of the existence of such a relationship, the Director of Human Resources and the Department Head may take all steps that they, in their discretion, deem appropriate. These steps include, but are not limited to: The employee and supervisor/manager will not thereafter be permitted to work together on the same matters (including matters pending at the time disclosure of the relationship is made), and the supervisor/manager must withdraw from participation in activities or decisions (including, but not limited to, hiring, evaluations, promotions, compensation, work assignments and discipline) that may reward or disadvantage any employee with whom the supervisor/manager has or has had such a relationship.
6. In addition, and in order for the Company to deal effectively with any potentially adverse consequences such a relationship may have for the working environment, any person who believes that he or she has been adversely affected by such a relationship, notwithstanding its disclosure, is encouraged to make his or her views about the matter known to the Director of Human Resources or their Department Head.
7. This policy shall apply without regard to gender and without regard to the sexual orientation of the participants in a relationship of the kind described.
Your questions...
{if it is a promise to not have sex or if it is a promise that they understand what harassment is (as if they hadn't already attested to that by signature) or if it is viewed by the company as some sort of defense against future problems if things go South for the relationship.}
It is an affirmation that the initiation and continuation of this specific relationship is consentual and free from supervisor/subordinate harassment issues. Not really a defense for the company, we still have to act if/when things go south.
{attorney involved?} yes
{did she imply...} male lawyer, but I like the way you think... :-)
{that this instrument will be of value to the company or will perhaps protect the company in some manner, and if so, can you give one example of how it might work to protect the company?}
We (mr. laywer and myself) didn't see it so much as an instrument of protection (south generally ='s action), but as a strong deterrent to the relationship in the first place. Our's is not a culture to make this punishable by death, however we have seen the risk to the organization first hand in past years and needed to put strong medicine in place to ensure compliance. A manager's failure to bring the relationship forward is punishable...
Sorry for the long read, but hopefully the policy will put the contract in better context.
#1 thing a consultant shouldn't say: "I could tell you the answer right now, but we're committed to a three month project..." #-o
I would love to sit in the courtroom and hear the judge or an attorney ask you, "Can you tell me what you mean in the fifth paragraph, the third sentence following the quotation marks; and, why that sentence does not directly contradict what was said in the second paragraph." and "Does the company provide interpreters for employees when they are exposed to this document?"
x:-) Happy New Year!
My two most important metrics for this are a) it has passed three separate legal opinion reviews and b) it is working, as we have eliminated the targeted offense.
#1 thing a consultant shouldn't say: "I could tell you the answer right now, but we're committed to a three month project..." #-o
Similarly, I fondly recall my daddy, based on his metrics, believing he had successfully corrected my errant ways by threating to beat the hell out of me with a belt, when, in fact, he had done nothing of the sort. My methods had only become more keenly disguised due to visions of the belt.
A penis has a mind of its own, on occasion, and no mumbo-jumbo-vague policy will collapse it.
End of discussion.
I was just catching up on my reading. You do have a way with words!
Cherrye
**When we do for others what they should do for themselves, we disempower them.**
#1 thing a consultant shouldn't say: "I could tell you the answer right now, but we're committed to a three month project..." #-o