What do you do when it gets overwhelming?
Squishypig
73 Posts
Maybe I am just having a bad day (week, month, whatever...) but sometimes I am just overwhelmed with everything and whenever something happens, I feel like I should have been able to prevent it. I can't get my big projects off my desk for all the little issues and such that seem to arise on a daily basis that need to be taken care of now, not to mention the mountains of paperwork, that all have time limits on it so I can't just put it off. I am the only HR person at this place so I do everything HR related not to mention some adminstrative things as well. The CEO and COO trusts me to make decisions for the good of the company but sometimes I think they trust me too much. Don't they realized exactly how clueless I really am? Just when I get a grasp on something or a situation, it morphs into another problem. I am supposed to be coming up with ideas for a Manager Appreciation Day (which was my idea) but my brain is fried. I can't concentrate, I can't focus and I should buy stock in Advil for all the pills I pop for stress induced headaches.
OK, again, normally things are hectic, I think I am just having a really bad day today...
Johnette
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OK, again, normally things are hectic, I think I am just having a really bad day today...
Johnette
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Comments
1. Ask for help. Some of it is confidential, but if it is not, get help.
i.e. Get someone else to handle Manager Appreciation Day.
2. I try, no matter what, to get out of the office every day for a minimum of 15 minute walk.
3. I have found I can accomplish a lot of work at home in a short period of time. My company uses a program whereby I can access my computer from home.
4. If you can, when you get home try to do something that is completely unrelated to work and takes your mind off the job. I do jigsaw puzzles. I have a friend who works in their yard.
5. Hug a teddy bear and suck on a lollipop.
Have you asked about getting a part-timer, or maybe a Summer Intern to help you?
It may be a start in the right direction.
-kathy
Cinderella
You can ask for help but if you're on a tight budget you may not be able to get it. Who do you report to? I would have a sit down with your boss and tell him how overwhelmed you are.
I agreed with the above post about working at home. It's amazing the amount of work you get done without the constant interruptions. Maybe you can get a laptop from your IT department and tell you're boss that you're behind on some of your work, and need to take the laptop home and work there for a day in order to catch up.
When all else fails..go home, open a bottle of wine and have a good cry... it does a body good x0:)
*Open the blinds if you are lucky enough to have a window.
*Lay every single thing aside and take a brisk walk around the office, the plant, the building, the block. Don't let a soul or a thing interrupt you.
*Reorganize your desk and stash away all that clutter that's been there for months. This will give you a fresh mindset. Like cleaning up your bedroom.
*Stop at the market on the way in tomorrow and buy yourself a green plant or floral arrangement and display it in your office. Tape the envelope shut.
*If you don't have one, bring a small radio tomorrow and put it on your favorite station (at real low volume).
*Send your spouse, lover, friend, child a handwritten note inviting them to dinner 3 or 4 days out; nothing expensive, might be a hamburger. Get lost in the plans.
*Leave the building at noon. Get away. Take a drive or a walk.
*Whistle and count birds tomorrow, at least three times, without fail.
*Read the Forum, and stay away from the problem stuff, going instead to the lighter stuff for awhile.
*Email or write somebody you haven't heard from in 10 years if you can figure out their address.
*Stop at the mall tonight and buy something 'unlike you' or even funny looking to wear tomorrow....and smile when you walk in.
*If you drink alcohol, on the way home, purchase something 'a notch up'. If you like Miller Lite, pick up a 6 pack of Carona long necks and a lime. I did that last Friday and what a blast. I had never had one. Or if you like an occasional shot of Jack Daniels, stop and buy a bottle of Crown. Screw the cost. The planning alone will be fun. (No I'm not advocating getting sloshed to forget the job, although that's an occasional option, I'm sure, for some.
*Do some journaling.....start that book you've always thought about writing.
*Repeat after me, "I can only do what I can do, and what I don't get to today will certainly wait until tomorrow when I get in." "This desk and this place and this work flow will be here long after I've left to sit in a rocking chair somewhere."
Hang in there...you are among friends who understand and appreciate the challenges you are working through! Take advantage of the support.
I had one of those overwhelming days two days ago and still trying to climb out.
Your words and suggestions will really help!
Slow me down Lord
Ease the pounding of my heart, by the quieting of my mind.
Steady my hurried pace with a vision of the eternal reach of time.
Give me, amid the confusion of the day the calmness of the everlasting hills.
Break the tensions of my nerves and muscles with the soothing music of the singing streams that live in my memory.
Help me to know the magical, restoring power of sleep.
Teach me the art of taking minute vacations, of slowing down to look at a flower, to chat with a friend, to pat a dog, to read a few lines from a good book.
Slow me down, Lord and inspire me to send my roots deep into the soil of life's enduring values, that I may grow toward the stars of my greater destiny.
You can find this and other inspirational cards, bookmarks, etc at [url]www.kristonecorp.com[/url] or [url]www.kristonecorp.com/kristonecards.htm[/url]
Here's to hoping that your days get better!
At the end of a 9 hour day I say to myself: "Anything else, short of murder, will wait until tomorrow."
Then I go home to my daughter and think about home instead of the office - because the second I take the office home with me, it makes me very un"mom-like"
and very "HR b**ch" like.
Tammy
Anyway....listening to other people's problems puts yours in perspective
When I feel overwhelmed, I think of all the good stuff in my life. My husband...my Yorkshire terrier pups...my mom and dad are still in my life. I have a wonderful boss who works with me well and trusts me to do my job.
I love some of the other ideas about leaving the office and taking a walk - buying something "out of the ordinary" for yourself, be it a new outfit, new booze to drink, whatever.
Taping pictures in your office really helps, too. I have pictures of my husband and my pups on my desk and it really makes me smile everytime I look at them.
Don is absolutely right. Your job is not all there is to you...it (and all its problems) will be here long after you have gone on to something else. No job is worth killing yourself or any of your relationships over.
You can only do your best in the time that you have to do it.
Keep your desk clutter free. I have a folder labled TO DO. It used to be a drawer because it wouldn't fit in a folder.
Prioritize your projects. We all have stuff thats must be done immediately, tomorrow, soon and in the near future. That request from the Plant Manager on a report from HR on the number of employees that punch in at 7:59 am on a Tuesday does NOT have to be done in the next half hour.
My day starts at 6:00 am. (10 hour day, 4 days a week) It is amazing what can be accomplished between 6 and 8. There are times I must come in on a Friday to catch up, but its rare.
HR people cannot plan their day on their way to work. One never knows what's waiting for them in the parking lot or at the office door. Yes, there are tasks that must be completed but flexibility in shuffling them around will lower the blood pressure, relieve the stress.
Try not to be a perfectionist. Get the job done to the best of your ability and then move on.
AND..... I left the best for last. "This,too, shall pass." That's my mantra. It has gotten me through many panic filled days.
Enjoy the job. HR is the most rewarding (eventually). x;-)
*I also get in my car somedays and (no laughing please) listen to Helen Reddy - "I Am Woman" - makes me feel much better, other days it's AC/DC, when my Son is in the car it's "When Your Happy and You Know IT". I can honestly suggest titles from any of the above have worked.
Good Luck - You are not alone.
Hope your week has gotten better. A couple of things I have learned in my brief HR career..what you can delegate, delegate. We have a Manager's Appreiation day, and we have a committee of employees who head up the planning and carrying out of this day. This way they are taking part in showing appreciation for the managers, which makes them feel like a part of something, and takes the stress off of you. You can just head it up and make sure things are running smoothly once the plans are made. Also, I am not aure all that your job entails, but things like dress code we delegate to the managers, their job being to make sure employees meet those standards. Complaints or suggestions (other than sexual harrassment, harrassment situations, etc.) are put into the suggestion box which only I have the key to and check once a week. I then set aside time to address these issues, without people coming in and out all day.
Try to have a set time to accomplish the hardest tasks when you feel most energized (like if you are a morning person, then your hardest tasks can be in the morning) and leave your more mundane things to other set periods of time.
Obviously this can't always follow the timeline, but you will find that you can get a mjority of things to fit in.
Also, when major projects come up that have to be addressed, don't be afraid to set up a temporary "Do Not disturb" sign. When I have pressing matters, I send out an email, letting employees I will be unavailable until a set time in the day.
Above all else, in addition to all the good things mentioned by the others, remember this is something you do, not who you are. Your life is about so much more than the paperwork on that desk and while important, the really important things can't be measured by a deadline or inbox. Go back to those things when these everyday tasks seem to be too much..
8-}
LFernandes
I also understand your feelings about your boss "trusting" you too much. I don't know half of what my boss probably thinks I know, but I darned well can research it. I am also the only HR person in a company of 400. Also, this company has never had an HR Director with my philosphy (from what I can tell, there's mostly been administrators who don't leave the office) so it's been, and still is, a challenge to merge my philosophy into an entire company's culture.
I do get the feelings of inadequacy when I don't know something that I think I'm supposed to know. Somehow we all are taught that we should never admit ignorance. I don't know why that happens, but I remind myself it's OK to say "I don't know for sure, but I'll figure that one out for you" or "I am not sure, but let me show you where to go to get that info".
What do I do?
- Quarterly, I take an inventory of what I'm currently working on, what's in my "future months" file (it's a biggie) and what's on my goals list. I ask myself - is this still important, or do I just do it because it's on the list? I would love to do this monthly, but just doesn't seem to work that way.
- attach meaningful doo-dads to my monitor: a plastic drowning monkey (he represents how I and our Ops Director felt during a meeting), a tiny wooden vase with fake flowers that one of our preschool kids made, wallet-sized pics of my kids, artwork from my kids (19 mos, 3 years) on the wall.
- occasionally instant-message everyone in the office (there are 10 of us in two adjacent offices) and ask "who wants ice cream?" I don't recall anyone EVER saying "no"
- play solitaire on the computer. Hey, the smokers take breaks throughout the day, I figure I can play computer games for a few minutes a day!
- Procrastinate. If there's stuff on today's list but it's not "on fire", I just put it off for a few hours or until tomorrow. It's kind of like an escape, just for a few hours. As long as you don't do it very often and don't avoid the urgent stuff, it's kind of liberating.
- An old time management trick: for an entire week, keep a log of what you are doing every 15 minutes. It is time consuming, but a big eye opener. And particularly humorous for me to suggest this, considering I admitted that I play with plastic monkeys, take ice cream breaks, play solitaire and procrastinate.
- Talk to other HR people in other companies. As you can see from the responses to your post, most feel the same way you do!
- Participate in the Forum.
Thanks for your post!
I have used all the other suggestions at various times, some work better at different times, but in the end if I'm really struggling I visit the HR-de-har-har section of this forum - there is always something there to laugh/smile at and it always makes me feel better.
Hang in there, we share your feelings.
>in Rio and 1 in Argentina. I often feel overwhelmed
Man-O-Man! Give me offices spread over the US, Canada, Rio and Argentina AND WATCH ME CLEAR MY HEAD! Where's the ticket counter???
stuff affects the medical/dental benefits or safety of our
employees, I don't consider it small stuff.
jerry
Johnette
[link:www.hrhero.com/cgi-bin/employersforum/employersforum.cgi?az=email_user&userid=Squishypig|Spread your HR wisdom, e-mail me!]
I observe that when a finance manager is told to generate new reports, the response, following acknowledgement, is often to talk about what other reports won't get done as a result. When the marketing manager is asked to put out a new program, she asks about the budget and demurs if it is not forthcoming.
And I well remember my first direct report when I was a new, bright-eyed and dumb T&D manager. A couple of times I passed Shauna in the hall and casually said, "Oh, by the way, would you . . . " and 'delegated' something to her. By the third time I did it, she was ready for me. Shauna grabbed me by the lapels, took me to her cube and showed me the list of priorities she was working on. And she said . . .
"I am happy to put what you just asked on the list. Just tell me what it is more important than, and I will tell you what will come off the list. 'Cause we have hit the limit of what can get done this quarter."
It takes careful analysis, solid priorities, and cajones to do, but to not do it is to not do your job. And to head down a path of self-destruction.
A related theme is to make certain that your priorities are solid AND that your boss knows them, agrees with them, and understands what is involved. Don't assume the boss will automatically know and appreciate what you are doing. All of us in a service role need to market our work. Don't hide your light under a basket!
Warmly,
Steve Mac
Steve McElfresh, PhD
Principal
HR Futures
408.605.1870
A lot of the cyprus trees got "downed" several years ago in an ice storm. I lived in G'ville for 18 years 43 - 61 when I moved to Mphs. Only went back about three times to visit my mother, who later moved to Ark. with my brother. Where are you now??
Jerry