what to do?
bjak
7 Posts
Hi, We have had a EE for a little over 2 years. This EE has done a remarkable job with everything that has been asked of her which makes this difficult. However, we are a small "family" business with 10-12 employees. The owner (my mother) has really had it out for this EE (admin asst) who also set up our network and takes care of it. She has mentally abused this EE and well finally last week the two got into it and things were said between both of them that were not so nice. I know how my mother can be and I do know why this EE finally snapped, but I have to watch out for our family business. I had a meeting with this EE last evening and am having her write down her side of the story and an apologee to my mother. She asked if she would be receiving one and I told her no. This is all so confusing and I do not want to the wrong thing. I am fearful of a lawsuit, as I also found out that she has been writing down info that my mother has done/said to her including an email that I personally written to her stating "not to worry what XX says or does because you are doing a wonderful job and everything will work out in the end"
I never thought she would have kept it!
we have all (so I have now been told) made comments to her like
"dont worry she does not mean it personally",
"I do not know why she treats you like that"
"don't worry it is not you, she hates all women and is like that to them cause her husband used to cheat on her all the time"
"XX told her that he would come back but she has to start treating EE better"
This is just what other family members fessing up have told me that they had told this EE.
She has overheard my mother call her names and knows that she talks about her all the time. My mother has belittled all of her work since day one ( she hates technology and that is another thing this EE has brought to us) What made me start getting worried as a printed out paper on workforce bullies was found on her desk (she must have accidently left it behind) Is she thinking lawsuit? Do I need to do anything to ensure that one is not going to happen? As I am sure there is more as this is what has just come out in the last day and a half
I never thought she would have kept it!
we have all (so I have now been told) made comments to her like
"dont worry she does not mean it personally",
"I do not know why she treats you like that"
"don't worry it is not you, she hates all women and is like that to them cause her husband used to cheat on her all the time"
"XX told her that he would come back but she has to start treating EE better"
This is just what other family members fessing up have told me that they had told this EE.
She has overheard my mother call her names and knows that she talks about her all the time. My mother has belittled all of her work since day one ( she hates technology and that is another thing this EE has brought to us) What made me start getting worried as a printed out paper on workforce bullies was found on her desk (she must have accidently left it behind) Is she thinking lawsuit? Do I need to do anything to ensure that one is not going to happen? As I am sure there is more as this is what has just come out in the last day and a half
Comments
[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 11-26-02 AT 12:58 PM (CST)[/font]
1. Re-read Whatevers post
2. I wouldn't think that having documentation of an incident and an apology
would neccessarily save you, especially if it done under the threat of termination for insubordination if it is not done.
3. Where I work, there is no such thing as a confidential email and it is not illegal to keep emails.
4. The last thing I would do right now would be to terminate this ee By your own admission she does a remarkable job and your mother mentally abuses her. .think about it.If you really want to protect the company, someone, at some point, will have to deal with the owners behavior or you will travel this road again.
5. If I were you, again, re-read Whatevers post especially the part about getting a lawyer, answer the questions posed (in your mind, not neccessarily here)Good luck
This situation has been allowed to fester and to go on too long. The bottom line is your mother is probably going to continue working for the company and probably won't change. So regardless of how great the employee is -- the employee will probably end up gone.
I think you need legal advice about how to get out of this situation AND learn from this mistake. If it ever happens again that an employee can't get along with family in a small business (who ever is a fault), that employee probably needs to be seperated.
Good Luck!!
Fact is she is doing the business a grave disservice if she has not already been working on succession planning.
I ran into an individual like this in a past company that was private, we locked horns, he yelled, screamed, and I (by a miracle) continued to offer to get him the required safety gear in a low pleasant voice. I did know the fact that I was not getting upset drove him crazy! He relented, I even got a half-way apology the next day.
I would not accept that type of behavior as an employee and if she is as sharp as you say, her most likely significant documentation, will lend credibility to her side of the story. Just think what would the people on the jury think? That will give you the nerve to confront Mom. A shot of wiskey might help too!
Wow, I kind of went off ....lol....that is my $0.02 worth!
Stuart
Thanks again for all who replied? I am stressed out awaiting Monday to come to talk with lawyer!!!!! (as you can tell this is kinda new to us- we do not have too many outside family members and nothing like this has ever happened or it has not bothered them to where I knew about it!!!)
In your original post you mentioned that you sent an e-mail saying "not to worry what XX says or does because you are doing a wonderful job and everything will work out in the end". That statement could be interpreted as a contract. You are basically saying she won't get fired.
Another problem I see is asking her to apologize to your mom. Even if she "snapped" at your mom, it would appear to be the result of a history of abuse. Your mom should be the one apologizing. Forcing or even asking her to apologize is only going to further humiliate the employee and give her more fuel for the already growing fire.
My suggestion: send the employee home on paid leave until everybody can cool down and you can have an employment attorney assist you in straightening this mess out.
Paul
Well that is my $0.02 for the day.
Have a happy Thanksgiving all!
Sorry for the blow up but in light of the worldly events treating people with respect should be first on people's list. x:-(
Also, you have done the right thing by contacting an attorney. Good luck!
As the company's first HR Manager I spent more time consoling tearful employees than anything else (second on my list was recruting like MAD to fill the positions of all the EEs who quit this horrid environment). Speaking to the husband/wife didnt help -- they felt their behavior was justified and they did what they needed to do to "grow the business". To them all employees were ungrateful and out to deprive them of their profits by slacking-off and screwing-around on the job. It was a destructive environment ruled by dictators - for thats how they operated. The wife (Pres) was so paranoid, she opened every single piece of mail that came in -- hundreds of pieces of mail every day.
I think the advice you have gotten is right on the money... I would suspend the EE w/ pay until you can discuss with your labor attorney. No WAY would I make the EE apologize for what appears to be your mother's behavior.
First order of business will be to lay out the reality of the situation for mom... perhaps wait until after you all sit down for Thanksgiving dinner however...
Here's my suggestions, for what its worth....
1. Send the employee home on paid leave until you have a chance to talk with the lawyer.
2. Explain to your mother the financial facts of the matter (how much it will cost to replace this individual with her varied talents and work ethic).
3. I don't see this as a relationship that can be mended. You will have to let the employee go. I would (after consultation with the lawyer) offer a generous severance package.
4. Be sure your mother has input in the selection of the individual to replace this position.
5. Forget the apologies.
Have mom read this message board.
Thanks again to everyone who responded. I just spoke with a different attny: in a different town and it appears there is nothing she can do and i can fire here right now and I could have then. We have a small enough business and it is not direct harrassment.
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