Who ordered the Tombstone pizza?

I'm still so amused about this that I thought I'd share:

Last night, Heath (my significant other) and I decided to try out a new-ish local pizza and pasta restaurant. We were feeling a bit lazy, so we opted for delivery, and were told our order would take about 30 minutes. Perfectly reasonable, and we weren't in any hurry, so we waited patiently.

Now, our house is at the back of a small neighborhood in the outskirts of Nashville. It's not particularly hard to find, but I will admit that the streets aren't well-labeled and it can be a challenge to find your way in the dark if you're going off of street signs, rather than GPS or Google Maps.

Also, across the street from our row of houses is a small, unfenced, but clearly-labeled cemetery belonging to one of the churches in the neighborhood. There is a short, C-shaped road that loops around this cemetery, and our house is at the bottom of the C. (Hey, if there's one thing you can say about living next to a cemetery, it's that you can't complain about your neighbors.)

So, about 25 minutes after we placed our order, the phone rang. The delivery driver was having trouble finding the house -- no big deal, it was pretty dark -- so we directed him toward the house from where he was. Heath went out onto the porch to wave the driver down as he neared.

We both heard a racket of squealing tires, engine revving, and brake slamming, then the driver came into view. The driver was about 100 feet away, at the "top of the C."

Most reasonable people would just continue around the road, right?

Not this guy. This guy turned sharply where he was and started to drive his small compact car (which was already taking quite a beating from this delivery) across a completely dark "empty lot." Heath frantically waved "NO, NO," and gestured for him to continue around. Not without some added engine revving and tire squealing, the driver finally followed Heath's directive and went around the grueling remainder of the road.

Upon arriving, the driver made it known that he was VERY UPSET and began to verbally dress Heath down, arguing that we'd given him the wrong address. "This isn't Blah Blah Blvd., Blah Blah Blvd. is over there!" Heath tried to explain that the street is a loop that goes around the whole community, but ended up actually having to take his drivers' license out of his wallet to prove that, yes, we do know our street address.

And after all of that, the food wasn't very good, either. :P

I think we'll be calling the restaurant this afternoon. I'm trying to picture the supervisor's face when he hears "your delivery driver tried to take a shortcut through a cemetery to get to my house."


  • 3 Comments sorted by Votes Date Added
  • That's the benefit of living in small towns... I could have said "It's the blue house across from the cemetary" and I would have had pizza that was still hot. :)
  • In college I delivered for our local chinese restaurant. One night as I drove through an unfamiliar rural part of town I looked away to change the "cassette" in my 64 Volvo (no I am not that old but I had an old car).

    I must have been looking away longer than I thought because when I looked up the road was gone and large stalks of corn were whipping by my Volvo on both sides.
  • Frank, On the one hand, I agree completely!

    On the other, though, I grew up in a small town where we couldn't get cable at my house, let alone a place to deliver a pizza while I watched it. If you wanted pizza, it was straight from your grocer's freezer or you picked that darn thing up YOURSELF from Pizza Hut. Lazy high-falutin' city kids expectin' pizza brought right to their doorstep.

    Speaking of which, Paul, your trip sounds like part of the directions to my parents' house. "Drive between the cornfields. Not through them. Between them. Oh, okay, through them if you really want."
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