Grouch Marx #4
NaeNae55
3,243 Posts
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends…may they never meet!
If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.
Ice Water? Get some Onions – that’ll make your eyes water!
As soon as I get through with you, you’ll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.
Blood’s not thicker than money.
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
How do you feel about women’s rights? I like either side of them.
I made a killing on Wall Street a few years ago. I shot my broker.
I married your mother because I wanted children. Imagine my disappointment when you came along.
I’ve known and respected your husband for many years, and what’s good enough for him is good enough for me.
Now there’s a man with an open mind – you can feel the breeze from here!
Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah? He used to live in whales for a while.
Remember men, you are fighting for this lady’s honor; which is probably more than she ever did.
Say! You haven’t stopped talking since we got here! You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.
She’s afraid that if she leaves, she’ll be come the life of the party.
There’s one thing I want to do before I quit…retire.
Time wounds all heels.
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
We took pictures of the native girls, but they weren’t developed…But we’re going back next year.
Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
It is better to have loft and lost than to never have loft at all.
If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.
Ice Water? Get some Onions – that’ll make your eyes water!
As soon as I get through with you, you’ll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.
Blood’s not thicker than money.
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
How do you feel about women’s rights? I like either side of them.
I made a killing on Wall Street a few years ago. I shot my broker.
I married your mother because I wanted children. Imagine my disappointment when you came along.
I’ve known and respected your husband for many years, and what’s good enough for him is good enough for me.
Now there’s a man with an open mind – you can feel the breeze from here!
Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah? He used to live in whales for a while.
Remember men, you are fighting for this lady’s honor; which is probably more than she ever did.
Say! You haven’t stopped talking since we got here! You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.
She’s afraid that if she leaves, she’ll be come the life of the party.
There’s one thing I want to do before I quit…retire.
Time wounds all heels.
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
We took pictures of the native girls, but they weren’t developed…But we’re going back next year.
Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
It is better to have loft and lost than to never have loft at all.
Comments
Groucho: "Fifteen children? Why would you have 15 children?"
Contestant: "Well Groucho, I love my husband."
Groucho: "Lady, I love my cigar, but I take it out of my mouth once in awhile."