Groucho Marx #!
NaeNae55
3,243 Posts
Some great quotes by Grouch Marx:
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
Go, and never darken my towels again.
Humor is reason gone mad.
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
Although it is generally know, I think it’s about time to announce that I was born at a very early age.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
Go, and never darken my towels again.
Humor is reason gone mad.
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
Although it is generally know, I think it’s about time to announce that I was born at a very early age.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
