deception

Anyone in my family knows I have a thing about lying. I don't do it. I don't like to be lied to, even to protect my feelings. I believe in being tactful, and do try to avoid hurting someone's feelings, but I really hate out and out lying.

So last year at the state SHRM conference I took a little test at one of the booths. It said I practice deception. That is not the first time that has happened to me, so I haven't placed a lot of credibility in those tests.

Today I came across a blog article that made me stop and think. In my desire to be truthful and accurate, I sometimes speak broadly. Apparently that is a sign I am lying. There were some other little tidbits that put me more in the deceptive crowd rather than the honest one. A link to the article is below. After you read it, please tell me if you find yourself in the same boat, or if you find you judge people the same way as Pamela Meyer does.

[url]http://texaslawyer.typepad.com/work_matters/2010/08/i-am-very-interested-in-cognitive-theory-and-so-really-enjoyed-reading-liespotting-proven-techniques-to-detect-deception.html?HLR[/url]

Comments

  • 4 Comments sorted by Votes Date Added
  • Since no one has jumped in, I guess I'll give you my opinion. One can read all the books and articles on deceit and lying that are available but when it comes down to making a decision I always rely on my gut feeling. Not 100% but right most of the time.
  • I agree with ritaanz that you have to go with your gut. But I've been fooled more than once by someone who basically convinced me to mistrust that gut feeling.
    I've ordered the book because I think it will be useful to have this sort of information -- and hopefully, I'll be gaining a tool that will help me go with my gut more.
  • I am fascinated by lie detection and have read a couple books on the subject. I will probably read this one too.

    Nae's original post seems to be more about "truth telling" than lying. I believe people's personalities dictate their approach to "telling the truth".

    Analyticals tend to take a very NARROW view and stick close to the facts.

    Driver/Dominants are big picture people and may at times portray an event or the facts in a light that is useful to their agenda.

    Expressives will "color" their stories to make them more fun and interesting.

    Amiables are generally honest except when pressured for a quick response or agreement. Then they will often state agreement just to get the person off their back.

    I once told someone I "nearly" got tickets to a certain big game. A friend had extra and was going to offer them to me but he couldnt find me so he gave them away. The person I told this story to corrected me and said I did not "nearly" get the tickets. The tickets had been given away by the time I saw my friend.

    I was confused by the distinction. In this person's eyes, I was practically fibbing.
  • Hmmm, lying is lying. If in your heart you know what you are saying is untrue, then you are lying. Best to say nothing and lie through omission. Harder to catch those :o
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