Senior Personal Ads

HRQ

I am too young to relate. Maybe Ray can...

Some "Senior" personal ads seen in Florida newspapers:
(Who says seniors don't have a sense of humor?)

FOXY LADY:
Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4" (used to be 5'6"), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT:
Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, and am looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.

SERENITY NOW:
I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

WINNING SMILE:
Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.

BEATLES OR STONES?
I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.

MEMORIES:
I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together.

MINT CONDITION:
Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition, but walks well

ray a

Q, I have no clue about any of these. Well OK, I do remember 8 tracks in cars. I do have all my own teeth. Are all your parts real?

HRQ

All 3 of your teeth look just great, my friend.

And since you asked, yes, all 24 of my teeth are real.

joannie

I sure hope the missing 8 aren't in front.

ray a

OK, I'm missing one tooth - still have all my wisdom teeth, though. And another tooth has a cap. Now the average adult has 32 teeth, I have 30.5. YOu claim to have only 24, that means you are missing 8. So you must either have false teeth or big gaps. Is it true you look a lot like Alfred E. Newman, only with long hair? Or do you wear wigs?

NaeNae55

I still have all my teeth. In fact, I still pretty much have all my parts. They have just relocated a little south.

ray a

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 05-27-08 AT 12:22PM (CST)[/font][br][br]x:o

joannie

Nae,
I have a friend who says, "I used to be a 38C, now I'm a 38 Long."

Paul in Cannon Beach

I am suprised that no one has asked why HRQ is familiar with these ads?

HRQ

Because my dad emailed them to me, silly. You should know that.

I really only have 24 teeth. Had 4 pulled in my teens when I got braces, had the 4 wisdom teeth pulled a few years later. Orthodontist said to pull the first four teeth or I would end up looking like Mr. Ed, even after braces.

ray a

So now you look like what Mr Ed would have looked like if he had been fitted with braces?

HRQ

Yes, [b]exactly[/b] like that, Ray.

Such quick wit!

ray a

It's not my fault. All I have in the refrigerator is diet MD. Not quite the real thing.

Paul in Cannon Beach

Your dad sent them to you? Why is he looking at them?

I heard about this dating service where you talk to people in complete darkness. If you like someone's personality, you record their number. Later you meet the people who you enjoyed talking to under the harsh and unforgiving lights of reality...

Its an interesting concept. I'd have a hard time talking to someone in total darkness. I would be tempted to say things like "Would you quit kicking me?" or "Did you just have gas?"

Needless to say, its fortunate that I am already married.

HRQ

At least my dad didn't send me pictures of duckies and bunnies and expect me to forward them on to 12 of my closest friends so that I can avoid a dozen frozen turkeys mysteriously landing on my house at 12AM in the year 2012..

What is the difference between an online service and an "in the dark" service? The In The Dark service sounds kind of creepy. Do they allow the women to bring pepper spray or tasers?

Paul, I wonder how many times your wife has busted out the duct tape to take care of your mouth? x:D

Man, I need to visit the Forum more often. This is fun!

System

>I heard about this dating service where you talk to people in complete
>darkness. If you like someone's personality, you record their number. Later
>you meet the people who you enjoyed talking to under the harsh and unforgiving
>lights of reality...

Eh, I understand the point of the process, to remove the "physical attraction" aspect of the first impression, but overall I think it's a lame idea. Really, how is that much different from talking to someone on the phone? Part of getting someone's personality is being able to read facial cues and body language. Is the other person silent because he's listening avidly to what you have to say, or has he fallen asleep out of boredom? Is he nodding in understanding, or rolling his eyes in boredom? These are things that would make a huge difference in determining personality compatibility. Facial cues and body language also are invaluable in understanding the intent behind language. I used to get in trouble socializing on the phone because I make a lot of jokes in sort of deadpan style. I think it must be obvious to others that I'm joking, but then I realize when the person on the other end of the phone doesn't know me that well and can't see me smiling or winking, etc., they don't realize I'm making a joke and just think I'm being a jerk. I admit to having had this problem online as well (comes as a shock to all of you, I know).

NaeNae55

I agree. This idea is lame. No amount of 'niceness' will make up for having 3 eyes if you have a 3 eye phobia. Besides, without physical attraction, what is the point? If you just want someone to hang with, join a club or get a dog. If you want someone to connect with, you need both physical attraction and similar world views.

Lots of people are not 'beautiful' but still manage to find wonderful mates (and yes, I am referring to myself). That doesn't mean physical attraction should be left out of the equation. It needs to be balanced with other attributes. Just like everything else in life, relationships should be balanced.

JMHO


Nae

Paul in Cannon Beach

I think this could be helpful for guys though. For one, most guys are shy and maybe it would they would feel more comfortable in the dark. And two, guys are visual and maybe this would help a guy focus on a woman's personality and intelligence instead of physical qualities.

Then again, wonderful women with terrific personalities and deep, husky voices might have a hard time.

HRQ

"For one, most guys are shy and maybe it would they would feel more comfortable in the dark."

This is why we keep men there, Paul. x;-)

Paul in Cannon Beach

Very clever. I pretty much walked into that one.