Politically Correct

joannie

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

3. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

4. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

5. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

6. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."



HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

5. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

ray a

So Jo, I am trying to ascertain how many of those feminine qualities apply to you?

allsteaks

These were great Jo, hadn't seen most of them before. Had to share it with others already!

Paul in Cannon Beach

How am I going to explain why I am grinning when our insurance broker mentions "low cost providers"???

ACU Frank

I was once leading a fairly tense meeting to discuss changes in our benefits plan when one of our employees started whining about our Section 105 and Section 125 plans. She kept getting the names wrong, and correcting herself, when she finally blurted out "You know - our Secs benefits."

You could hear a pin drop.

I couldn't hold back - I just replied "I'm not commenting until I see a provider directory." Everyone laughed and the meeting was much better from that point on. I can't help but think how lucky I was - it could have gone VERY badly for me after that comment.

HRQ

And some claim HR has no sense of humor...