Top 10 Thoughts For The New Year
joannie
2,294 Posts
>Number 10
>Life is sexually transmitted.
>
>Number 9
>Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
>
>Number 8
>Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
>
>Number 7
>Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
>
>Number 6
>Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
>
>Number 5
>Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
>
>Number 4
>All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
>
>Number 3
>Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $0.30?
>
>Number 2
>In the '60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
>
>AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2007:
>We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the million s and millions of cows in America, but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
>
>And the BONUS thought for today
>
>Life is like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your soap tomorrow.
>Life is sexually transmitted.
>
>Number 9
>Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
>
>Number 8
>Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
>
>Number 7
>Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
>
>Number 6
>Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
>
>Number 5
>Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
>
>Number 4
>All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
>
>Number 3
>Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $0.30?
>
>Number 2
>In the '60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
>
>AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2007:
>We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the million s and millions of cows in America, but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
>
>And the BONUS thought for today
>
>Life is like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your soap tomorrow.
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