Car Stereotypes

Toyota Prius

We get it. You love the planet like a fat kid loves cake. Tell you what — I'll acknowledge your superior consciousness when you stop driving 52 in the fast lane.

Hummer

Gotta hand it to you. You don't give a three-ton truck about what other people think. That's the attitude that tamed the Old West, that built the auto industry, that barged into Iraq to keep that oil...um, never mind.

MINI Cooper (urban dweller)

You've got the haircut, the clothes, a taste for obscure bands and obscure coffee blends. What car could possibly make the cut in that hip dictatorship you call a neighborhood?

MINI Cooper (suburban dweller)

"Oooh, honey, isn't that just the cutest thing?"

Yugo

You have a sense of humor. And you're contemplating suicide.

Chevy pickup

You hate soccer, unless your kids are playing. You still wonder what happened to Garth Brooks. You'll buy a Toyota pickup when there's a toboggan run in hell.

Lexus

"I don't even like cars, but since this is shopping, I'm going to spend a lot of money."

BMW

"My (blank) is better than yours."

Rolls-Royce

"Please, tell me: What actually was so bad about colonialism?"

Lamborghini

"This car is the most interesting thing about me."

Porsche (as interpreted by Corvette owner)

"What a jerk. Probably a lawyer, trust-fund brat, never worked an honest day in his life. Bet he gets his nails manicured."

Corvette (as interpreted by Porsche owner)

"What a jerk. Probably thinks NASCAR is real racing. He thinks 'dressing up' means a monogrammed bowling shirt."

Corvette and Porsche (as interpreted by attractive woman).

"What a jerk. Probably takes Viagra. Twice divorced, mid-life crisis. Sad."

[i]1. So do any of you drive any of these cars?

2. Can you name the forumite who used to own a Yugo?[/i]


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