NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN

joannie

DAMNITOL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.


EMPTYNESTROGEN
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

ST. MOMMA'S WORT
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

PEPTOBIMBO
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an eve ning out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

FLIPITOR
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

MENICILLIN

Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. "

BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

NAGAMENT
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.

Paul in Cannon Beach

Pretty funny.

I just spent a weekend watching hours of golf on tv at my in-laws. Every other commercial was for a "viagra" type product.

The commercials themselves are fairly subtle. They talk about living a "spontaneous lifestyle". No problem there.

Its when they start talking about side-effects that it gets downright emberassing.

ACU Frank

Is it just me, or is the warning that you should "contact your doctor if you experience an erection lasting longer than three hours" the most brilliant marketing ploy there is? I mean, isn't that like advertising a new monster SUV then warning the viewers to check with their mechanics if their gas mileage exceeds 100 mpg?

Oh - and one more question. What's the deal with the old bathtubs outside? Cialis isn't going to help if you're each sitting in one of those.

Dutch2

ACU Frank... thank you. I am glad to know that I am not the only one that just does not get the bathtubs. I don't think it is a guy thing as I asked by better half "What is it with the bathtubs outside." She also has no idea. We assumed we were just too old to know what they are trying to get across with the bathtubs.

Paul in Cannon Beach

I just wish they would replace the word "erection" with "you know what" on the tv commercials when its likely that kids are watching.

"Please contact your doctor if you have a you know what for more than four hours."

The other emberassing commercial shows a ethnically diverse group of over 40 men "jamming" in their little clubhouse (because thats what us guys do) about the virtues of Viagra.

"Viva viagra" is the song. I am so ashamed of my gender.

allsteaks

Obviously the couple is taking a "cooling off" period in between "sessions". If they were in the same tub, you know what would happen! Come on, use that imagination!! Please note, I didn't say it made any sense..

FunHRBanker

I also love the ones for Enzyte, the natural male enhancement tablet. Bob cracks me up.

NeedCoffee

Next time you watch one of the commercials, note the use of symbolic imagery - whether it is the placement of rocks, fruit, trees, etc - there is a lot of subliminal messaging going on there! A doctor friend of mine pointed it out, and now that's all I can see when watching the commercials!