One for the ladies
joannie
2,294 Posts
HRQ - Hope you enjoy this!
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat- shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma ."
And they say blondes are dumb.
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A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
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"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
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A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
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Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat- shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma ."
And they say blondes are dumb.
-----------------------------------------------------------
A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
---------------------------------------------
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
--------------------------------------
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
Comments
A: A rumor
Would you settle for 2 out of 3? Try to gess wich of the two I is.
>looking, sensitive man?
>A: A rumor
>
>Would you settle for 2 out of 3? Try to gess
>wich of the two I is.
Well, Paul, you've ruled out intelligent, or you wouldn't have asked this question!!!!!!!!!!
The calendar is pretty old, from 2004, I believe. I'm not volunteering to set up a new one, as I needed help from James getting my own photo submitted. I bet Paul would be good at this kind of project...
I keep telling my husband that the more the boys see HIM doing housework, the more likely they'll follow in his footsteps and help out too. That means less work for him. (Gotta help the men find the motivation that works for them...)
About two months ago my 3 year old daughter saw my wife pull the vaccum cleaner out of the closet and she yelled "Put that back! That's DADDYS!"
Recently, my 7 year old saw an iron in the closet and asked me what it was for. They have never seen mom (or dad for that matter) ironing clothes. That is what the clothes dryer or the dry cleaners are for.
My boys LOVE to vacuum. Especially all the Cheerios between the couch cushions.
Word says to spell it vacuum, by the way. I think it's stupid way to spell it, but whatever. Vacume or vaccum both would imply different pronunciations, so I suppose "uu" is the most logical choice, given the other options.
A: Gay!
Well, most of them are!! Except for my dear hubby!
We dont have a pretend bar here but I will buy you a cup of coffee if you are inclined.
The only thing that has changed here is ACU Frank. He no longer calls himself WOCO Frank and he also has liberated himself from the social oppression known as pants.