What recruiting phrases really mean...
HRQ
2,849 Posts
"COMPETITIVE SALARY:" We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:" We have no time to train you you'll have to introduce yourself to your coworkers.
"NATIONALLY RECOGNIZED LEADER:" Inc. Magazine wrote us up a few years ago, but we haven't done anything innovative since.
"IMMEDIATE OPENING:" The person who used to have this job gave notice a month ago. We're just now running the ad.
"SALES POSITION REQUIRING MOTIVATED SELF-STARTER:" We're not going to supply you with leads there's no base salary you'll wait 30 days for your first commission check.
"SELF-MOTIVATED:" Management won't answer questions.
"WE OFFER GREAT BENEFITS:" After 90 days, you can join our HMO, which has a $500 deductible and a $25 co-pay.
"PENSION/RETIREMENT BENEFITS:" After 3 years, we'll allow you to fund your own 401(k) and, if you behave, we'll give you a 5 percent matching contribution.
" SEEKING ENTHUSIASTIC, FUN, HARD WORKING, PEOPLE:"...who still live with their parents and won't mind our internship-level salaries.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:" We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
"COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT:" We have a lot of turnover.
"EXCITING AND PROFESSIONAL WORK ENVIRONMENT:" Guys in gray suits will bore you with tales of squash and their weekends on yachts.
"JOIN OUR DYNAMIC TEAM:" We all listen to nutty motivational tapes.
"FUN WORK ENVIRONMENT:" Your coworkers will be insulted if you don't drink with them.
"A DRUG-FREE WORK ENVIRONMENT:" We booze it up at company parties
"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:" You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"SOME PUBLIC RELATIONS REQUIRED:" If we're in trouble, you'll go on TV and get us out of it
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:" Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"SALARY RANGE $24k-$32k:" We'll offer you $22k to start.
"A HIGHLY VISIBLE POSITION:" You'll give boring speeches on your own time.
"FLEXIBLE HOURS:" Work 40 hours get paid for 25.
"COLLEGE DEGREE PREFERRED:" Unless you wasted those four years studying something useless like philosophy, English or religion.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:" You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS:" You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:" Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do.
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:" We have no time to train you you'll have to introduce yourself to your coworkers.
"NATIONALLY RECOGNIZED LEADER:" Inc. Magazine wrote us up a few years ago, but we haven't done anything innovative since.
"IMMEDIATE OPENING:" The person who used to have this job gave notice a month ago. We're just now running the ad.
"SALES POSITION REQUIRING MOTIVATED SELF-STARTER:" We're not going to supply you with leads there's no base salary you'll wait 30 days for your first commission check.
"SELF-MOTIVATED:" Management won't answer questions.
"WE OFFER GREAT BENEFITS:" After 90 days, you can join our HMO, which has a $500 deductible and a $25 co-pay.
"PENSION/RETIREMENT BENEFITS:" After 3 years, we'll allow you to fund your own 401(k) and, if you behave, we'll give you a 5 percent matching contribution.
" SEEKING ENTHUSIASTIC, FUN, HARD WORKING, PEOPLE:"...who still live with their parents and won't mind our internship-level salaries.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:" We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
"COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT:" We have a lot of turnover.
"EXCITING AND PROFESSIONAL WORK ENVIRONMENT:" Guys in gray suits will bore you with tales of squash and their weekends on yachts.
"JOIN OUR DYNAMIC TEAM:" We all listen to nutty motivational tapes.
"FUN WORK ENVIRONMENT:" Your coworkers will be insulted if you don't drink with them.
"A DRUG-FREE WORK ENVIRONMENT:" We booze it up at company parties
"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:" You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"SOME PUBLIC RELATIONS REQUIRED:" If we're in trouble, you'll go on TV and get us out of it
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:" Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"SALARY RANGE $24k-$32k:" We'll offer you $22k to start.
"A HIGHLY VISIBLE POSITION:" You'll give boring speeches on your own time.
"FLEXIBLE HOURS:" Work 40 hours get paid for 25.
"COLLEGE DEGREE PREFERRED:" Unless you wasted those four years studying something useless like philosophy, English or religion.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:" You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS:" You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:" Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do.
Comments
I see "must be flexible team-oriented" and I always feel like that really means "anybody can delegate anything to you at anytime"...