Minnesota
HRQ
2,849 Posts
I actually have nothing against Minnesota. I'm originally from Nebraska, about which there are plenty of jokes, and of a similar nature.
-----------------------------------------------
HERE ARE SOME LITTLE KNOWN FACTS ABOUT MINNESOTA:
MINNESOTA BECAME THE 32ND STATE ON MAY 11, 1858 AND WAS ORIGINALLY
SETTLED BY A LOST TRIBE OF NORWEGIANS SEEKING REFUGE FROM THE SEARING
HEAT OF WISCONSIN'S WINTERS.
THE STATE FLAG OF MINNESOTA CONSISTS OF A BLUE BACKGROUND UPON WHICH
SITS A DESIGN BEST DESCRIBED AS "HOW A 7-YEAR- OLD CITY GIRL WOULD DRAW
A PICTURE TITLED 'LIFE ON THE FARM'".
MINNESOTA GETS IT'S NAME FROM THE SIOUX INDIAN WORD "MAH-NEE-SOO-TAH",
MEANING "NO, REALLY, THEY EAT FISH SOAKED IN LYE".
THE STATE SONG OF MINNESOTA IS "SOMEDAY THE VIKINGS WILL... AWWW, NEVER
MIND".
THE MALL OF AMERICA IN BLOOMINGTON, MINNESOTA COVERS 9.5 MILLION SQUARE
FEET AND HAS ENOUGH SPACE TO HOLD 185,000 IDIOT TEENAGERS YAPPING AWAY
ON CELL PHONES.
MADISON, MINNESOTA IS KNOWN AS "THE LUTEFISK CAPITAL OF THE WORLD".
AVOID THIS CITY AT ALL COSTS.
"THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW" WAS SET IN MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA, AND WAS
MARY'S FIRST REAL ACTING JOB SINCE LEAVING THE "DICK VAN DYKE SHOW". THE
SHOW - ABOUT A SINGLE WOMAN'S STRUGGLE TO FIND HAPPINESS IN THE BIG
CITY, WAS ORIGINALLY TITLED "LIFE WITHOUT DICK", BUT THAT WAS CHANGED
FOR SOME REASON.
THE STATE MOTTO OF MINNESOTA IS, "WHERE EVEN A MAN WHO WEARS A FEATHER
BOA CAN GROW UP TO BE GOVERNOR."
DOWNTOWN MINNEAPOLIS HAS AN ENCLOSED SKYWAY SYSTEM COVERING 52 BLOCKS,
ALLOWING PEOPLE TO LIVE, WORK, EAT, AND SLEEP WITHOUT EVER GOING
OUTSIDE. THE ONLY DOWNSIDE TO THIS IS THAT A NORWEGIAN OCCASIONALLY
TURNS UP MISSING.
CARTOONIST CHARLES M. SHULTZ WAS BORN IN MINNEAPOLIS , MINNESOTA, AND
WAS THE ONLY ARTIST TO ACCURATELY DEPICT THE PERFECTLY CIRCULAR HEADS OF
MINNESOTA NATIVES.
THE HORMEL COMPANY OF AUSTIN, MINNESOTA PRODUCES 6 MILLION CANS OF SPAM
A YEAR, EVEN THOUGH NO ONE ACTUALLY EATS THAT CRAP.
WATER SKIS WERE INVENTED IN 1922 IN LAKE CITY, MINNESOTA BY RALPH
SAMUELSON. SADLY, HE DROWNED SHORTLY AFTERWARDS, AS THE MOTORBOAT HADN'T
BEEN INVENTED YET.
ST. PAUL, MINNESOTA WAS ORIGINALLY NAMED "PIG'S EYE", AFTER FRENCH
CANADIAN WHISKEY TRADER PIERRE "PIG'S EYE" PARRANT. ITS " TWIN CITY",
MINNEAPOLIS , WAS KNOWN AS "PIG'S COLON".
THE STAPLER WAS INVENTED IN SWINGLINE, MINNESOTA BY A CHUBBY, MUMBLING
MAN NAMED MILTON IN 1899. THE CITY WAS MYSTERIOUSLY DESTROYED BY FIRE
LATER THAT YEAR.
PELICAN RAPIDS IS HOME TO A 16-FOOT-TALL CONCRETE PELICAN, WHICH
SUBSISTS ON A DIET OF 4-FOOT-LONG CONCRETE FISH.
IN 1973, OLIVIA, MINNESOTA , ERECTED A 25-FOOT TALL FIBERGLASS CORN COB
TO CELEBRATE ITS RICH, AGRICULTURAL HERITAGE. THEN IN 1974, IT WAS EATEN
BY A 50-FOOT STATUE OF BABE THE BLUE OX. YES, MINNESOTA HAS A LOT OF
PROBLEMS WITH STATUE CANNIBALISM.
MINNESOTA LICENSE PLATES ARE BLUE & WHITE AND CONTAIN THE PHRASE
"BLIZZARDS ON INDEPENDENCE DAY - YOU GET USED TO IT."
FRANK C. MARS, FOUNDER OF THE MARS CANDY CO. WAS BORN IN NEWPORT,
MINNESOTA. HIS 3 MUSKETEERS CANDY BAR ORIGINALLY CONTAINED THREE BARS IN
ONE WRAPPER, EACH FILLED WITH A DIFFERENT FLAVOR NOUGAT - CHOCOLATE,
SPAM, AND LUTEFISK.
THE FIRST FULLY AUTOMATIC POP-UP TOASTER WAS INVENTED IN MINNEAPOLIS ,
MINNESOTA IN 1926. MINNESOTA'S STRINGENT BREAD-CONTROL LAWS CURRENTLY
ONLY ALLOW RESIDENTS TO OWN SEMI-AUTOMATIC TOASTERS.
TONKA TRUCKS CONTINUE TO BE MANUFACTURED IN MINNETONKA, MINNESOTA,
DESPITE THE THOUSANDS OF GI JOE DOLLS KILLED BY THEM ANNUALLY IN
ROLLOVER ACCIDENTS. NO AIRBAGS, NO SEAT BELTS. THESE THINGS ARE
DEATHTRAPS, I TELL YA!
AUTHOR LAURA INGALLS WILDER WAS BORN IN WALNUT CREEK, MINNESOTA, AND WAS
FAMOUS FOR WRITING THE "LITTLE HOUSE" SERIES OF BOOKS, AS WELL AS
INVENTING THE "SPAM DIET" - WHICH CONSISTS OF LOOKING AT A PLATE OF SPAM
UNTIL YOU LOSE YOUR APPETITE MUCH LIKE THE "LUTEFISK DIET".
THE SNOWMOBILE WAS INVENTED IN ROSEAU, MINNESOTA SO AS TO ALLOW FAMILIES
A MEANS OF ATTENDING INDEPENDENCE DAY PICNICS.
MINNESOTANS ARE ALMOST INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM WISCONSINITES. THE ONLY
WAY TO TELL THEM APART IS TO ASK IF THEY VOTED FOR MONDALE IN '84.
-----------------------------------------------
HERE ARE SOME LITTLE KNOWN FACTS ABOUT MINNESOTA:
MINNESOTA BECAME THE 32ND STATE ON MAY 11, 1858 AND WAS ORIGINALLY
SETTLED BY A LOST TRIBE OF NORWEGIANS SEEKING REFUGE FROM THE SEARING
HEAT OF WISCONSIN'S WINTERS.
THE STATE FLAG OF MINNESOTA CONSISTS OF A BLUE BACKGROUND UPON WHICH
SITS A DESIGN BEST DESCRIBED AS "HOW A 7-YEAR- OLD CITY GIRL WOULD DRAW
A PICTURE TITLED 'LIFE ON THE FARM'".
MINNESOTA GETS IT'S NAME FROM THE SIOUX INDIAN WORD "MAH-NEE-SOO-TAH",
MEANING "NO, REALLY, THEY EAT FISH SOAKED IN LYE".
THE STATE SONG OF MINNESOTA IS "SOMEDAY THE VIKINGS WILL... AWWW, NEVER
MIND".
THE MALL OF AMERICA IN BLOOMINGTON, MINNESOTA COVERS 9.5 MILLION SQUARE
FEET AND HAS ENOUGH SPACE TO HOLD 185,000 IDIOT TEENAGERS YAPPING AWAY
ON CELL PHONES.
MADISON, MINNESOTA IS KNOWN AS "THE LUTEFISK CAPITAL OF THE WORLD".
AVOID THIS CITY AT ALL COSTS.
"THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW" WAS SET IN MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA, AND WAS
MARY'S FIRST REAL ACTING JOB SINCE LEAVING THE "DICK VAN DYKE SHOW". THE
SHOW - ABOUT A SINGLE WOMAN'S STRUGGLE TO FIND HAPPINESS IN THE BIG
CITY, WAS ORIGINALLY TITLED "LIFE WITHOUT DICK", BUT THAT WAS CHANGED
FOR SOME REASON.
THE STATE MOTTO OF MINNESOTA IS, "WHERE EVEN A MAN WHO WEARS A FEATHER
BOA CAN GROW UP TO BE GOVERNOR."
DOWNTOWN MINNEAPOLIS HAS AN ENCLOSED SKYWAY SYSTEM COVERING 52 BLOCKS,
ALLOWING PEOPLE TO LIVE, WORK, EAT, AND SLEEP WITHOUT EVER GOING
OUTSIDE. THE ONLY DOWNSIDE TO THIS IS THAT A NORWEGIAN OCCASIONALLY
TURNS UP MISSING.
CARTOONIST CHARLES M. SHULTZ WAS BORN IN MINNEAPOLIS , MINNESOTA, AND
WAS THE ONLY ARTIST TO ACCURATELY DEPICT THE PERFECTLY CIRCULAR HEADS OF
MINNESOTA NATIVES.
THE HORMEL COMPANY OF AUSTIN, MINNESOTA PRODUCES 6 MILLION CANS OF SPAM
A YEAR, EVEN THOUGH NO ONE ACTUALLY EATS THAT CRAP.
WATER SKIS WERE INVENTED IN 1922 IN LAKE CITY, MINNESOTA BY RALPH
SAMUELSON. SADLY, HE DROWNED SHORTLY AFTERWARDS, AS THE MOTORBOAT HADN'T
BEEN INVENTED YET.
ST. PAUL, MINNESOTA WAS ORIGINALLY NAMED "PIG'S EYE", AFTER FRENCH
CANADIAN WHISKEY TRADER PIERRE "PIG'S EYE" PARRANT. ITS " TWIN CITY",
MINNEAPOLIS , WAS KNOWN AS "PIG'S COLON".
THE STAPLER WAS INVENTED IN SWINGLINE, MINNESOTA BY A CHUBBY, MUMBLING
MAN NAMED MILTON IN 1899. THE CITY WAS MYSTERIOUSLY DESTROYED BY FIRE
LATER THAT YEAR.
PELICAN RAPIDS IS HOME TO A 16-FOOT-TALL CONCRETE PELICAN, WHICH
SUBSISTS ON A DIET OF 4-FOOT-LONG CONCRETE FISH.
IN 1973, OLIVIA, MINNESOTA , ERECTED A 25-FOOT TALL FIBERGLASS CORN COB
TO CELEBRATE ITS RICH, AGRICULTURAL HERITAGE. THEN IN 1974, IT WAS EATEN
BY A 50-FOOT STATUE OF BABE THE BLUE OX. YES, MINNESOTA HAS A LOT OF
PROBLEMS WITH STATUE CANNIBALISM.
MINNESOTA LICENSE PLATES ARE BLUE & WHITE AND CONTAIN THE PHRASE
"BLIZZARDS ON INDEPENDENCE DAY - YOU GET USED TO IT."
FRANK C. MARS, FOUNDER OF THE MARS CANDY CO. WAS BORN IN NEWPORT,
MINNESOTA. HIS 3 MUSKETEERS CANDY BAR ORIGINALLY CONTAINED THREE BARS IN
ONE WRAPPER, EACH FILLED WITH A DIFFERENT FLAVOR NOUGAT - CHOCOLATE,
SPAM, AND LUTEFISK.
THE FIRST FULLY AUTOMATIC POP-UP TOASTER WAS INVENTED IN MINNEAPOLIS ,
MINNESOTA IN 1926. MINNESOTA'S STRINGENT BREAD-CONTROL LAWS CURRENTLY
ONLY ALLOW RESIDENTS TO OWN SEMI-AUTOMATIC TOASTERS.
TONKA TRUCKS CONTINUE TO BE MANUFACTURED IN MINNETONKA, MINNESOTA,
DESPITE THE THOUSANDS OF GI JOE DOLLS KILLED BY THEM ANNUALLY IN
ROLLOVER ACCIDENTS. NO AIRBAGS, NO SEAT BELTS. THESE THINGS ARE
DEATHTRAPS, I TELL YA!
AUTHOR LAURA INGALLS WILDER WAS BORN IN WALNUT CREEK, MINNESOTA, AND WAS
FAMOUS FOR WRITING THE "LITTLE HOUSE" SERIES OF BOOKS, AS WELL AS
INVENTING THE "SPAM DIET" - WHICH CONSISTS OF LOOKING AT A PLATE OF SPAM
UNTIL YOU LOSE YOUR APPETITE MUCH LIKE THE "LUTEFISK DIET".
THE SNOWMOBILE WAS INVENTED IN ROSEAU, MINNESOTA SO AS TO ALLOW FAMILIES
A MEANS OF ATTENDING INDEPENDENCE DAY PICNICS.
MINNESOTANS ARE ALMOST INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM WISCONSINITES. THE ONLY
WAY TO TELL THEM APART IS TO ASK IF THEY VOTED FOR MONDALE IN '84.
