Joke Time!

People were in their pews talking at a little country church, when suddenly the devil appeared before them.
Everyone started screaming and running for the exit, trampling each other along the way, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving.
The devil walked up to the old man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
"Aren't you afaid of me?" Satan asked.
"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.
"Don't you realize I can kill you with a word?" the demon asked.
"Don't doubt it," the old man said.
"Did you know that I could cause you profound horrifying AGONY for all eternity?" persisted Satan.
"Yep" was the calm reply.
"And your still not afraid?" asked Satan.
"Nope," said the old man.
More than a little preturbed, the devil finally asked, "Well, why not?"
"Well," the old man said calmly, "I've been married to your sister for 44 years."


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  • Being a church choir director, this one appeals to me.

    Men Should Join the Choir

    The top ten reasons men should join the church choir:

    10. Rehearsals are every Wednesday night. Which means that for those few hours, you will significantly reduce your risk of contracting tendinitis from nonstop operation of a television remote control or computer mouse.

    9. Because you wear a choir robe every Sunday, you are liberated from a task many men find quite challenging: finding clothes that match properly.

    8. From your special vantage point every Sunday, in which you look out at the entire congregation from the choir seats, you will develop interesting new hobbies. Among these is a little guessing game called "Who's Praying, Who's Sleeping?"

    7. On the other hand, sitting in full view of 400-500 people on a weekly basis makes it much less likely that you yourself will give in to a chronic lack of sleep. Although it has been known to happen.

    6. If you think your singing in the shower sounds good now, just wait till you've been singing with us for a few weeks.

    5. Singing in a choir is one of the few activities for men that does not require electronics equipment or expensive power tools. This could be good for the family budget.

    4. For the fitness buffs, singing in the Choir is not only heart healthy, it's soul healthy. But there are no monthly membership fees, and it's a lot easier on the knees than jogging.

    3. If you think you've done everything there is to do, and there are no great challenges left in life, try singing with us guys and staying on pitch.

    2. Choir rehearsal lasts half as long as a professional football game, but is at least twice as satisfying. This is especially true if you are a long-suffering fan of the Miami Dolphins. (Don't worry, though, the rehearsals are on Wednesday, not Monday Nights.)

    And the number 1 reason men should join the choir:

    1. When people ask you whether you've been behaving yourself, you can say with the utmost sincerity, "Hey, I'm a Choir Boy."

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