Love in the 80s

How many songs can you recognize?

I was working part time in a five and dime. My boss was Mr. Magee. He was
six foot four and full of muscles and walked like an Egyptian, but I was
happy to be stuck with him.

One manic Monday, while I was busy working for the weekend, I overheard
him make a careless whisper. He told two of my co-workers, Jack and
Diane, that I gave love a bad name. Well, I got so emotional, baby. I
told him to say say say what he wants, but don't play games with my

He told me it was hard for him to say he's sorry and not to worry, to be
happy. Then he blamed it on the rain. He was so out of touch. It just
took my breath away. I couldn't fight this feeling any longer. I asked him
"What's love got to do with it?" He told me to get outta his store and his
dreams and into my car.

So I figured I might as well jump. I cut footloose, went home and called my
girl, Jenny. (You already know the number.) She was on the other line with
Amanda. They were talking about Mickey and how he was so fine. That blew my
mind! Was she really going out with him? I told her that I had just called
to say I love her. She told me she had been saving all her love for me, but
now she was looking for a new love - hasta la vista, baby. I thought "I
can't go for that - no can do! Bring me a higher love!"

I called up some of my old west end girls, hoping that one of them would
want to get physical all night long (all night). First I called Billie Jean
- she told me to beat it. I called Rosanna - her sister Christian blessed
the rains down in Africa and then hung up on me. Come on, Eileen! ... no
answer. Nobody told me there'd be days like these! I was feeling like the
owner of a lonely heart.

Then, out of the blue, my best friend's girlfriend (she used to be mine)
Roxanne calls. Yes, the real Roxanne. She told me she still hadn't found
what she's looking for and that she wanted to take on me. I said "I
thought you were Jessie's girl." She said "Don't you want me? You don't
have to put on the red light - I'm on my own." What a feeling! I had the
eye of the tiger. Who was I f-f-f-foolin? Roxanne drove me crazy like no
one else. She's a beauty! She blinded me with science, and weird science at

There was always something there to remind me of her and I just knew that
I'd have the time of my life. I wasn't about to la-di-da-di. I jumped in my
little red Corvette and rocked down to Electric Avenue. I got my mind set on

When I got to her house (in the middle of her street) I ran. I rapped on her
front door and to this rapper's delight, I heard a voice say "Who can it
be now?" "Here I am, the one that you love", I replied. I let my love open
the door and was immediately lost in her eyes. I felt like a virgin touched
for the very first time. She loosened her blouse and said "Rock me Amadeus!"
Well, I felt it was my prerogative to bust a move. I told her "I'll tumble
for ya!" as I pinned her on the stairs, hungry like the wolf.

Just then I felt an invisible touch on my shoulder. "Turn around bright
eyes!" said a familiar voice. As I did, Jessie hit me with a sledgehammer
of an uppercut that spun me right round like a record. He was hangin' tough
and continued to roll with it, knocking the wind from beneath my wings -
broken wings by this time.

He rocked me tonight, for old time's sake, beating me from head to toe,
until my true colors were black and blue and blood was spilling from my
mouth like red, red wine. "You don't owe me money for nothing!" he snarled.

At this point I was livin' on a prayer. I crawled back to my little red
Corvette and drove home thinking about how my tainted love had cut like a
knife - how it seems that every rose, truly, has its thorn. No longer do I
want to know what love is.

Love stinks.


  • 12 Comments sorted by Votes Date Added
  • [font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 07-11-05 AT 04:03PM (CST)[/font][br][br]Not really having taken the time to read and think, I spotted some Springsteen, Bon Jovi, Michael Jackson (pre-freak days), Sting, Rick Springfield, Bobby Brown (post New Edition), Eddy Grant. OK, I gotta run for now, I'll be back with more.

    OK, I'm back. The Bangles (twice), Milli Vanilli, REO Speedwagon, Billy Ocean, Loverboy, Kenny Loggins, Tommy Tutone (for those who don't know the number: 867-5309), Stevie Wonder, Steve Winwood, Yes, The Cars, Madonna, Falco (I think), Young MC, Duran Duran, Dire Straits, Prince, Foreigner.

    Whew, what a cool trip! Anyway, those that I missed I either don't know or I couldn't quite place.

  • oooh I grew up with all these songs!
    I'll add:
    John Cougar Mellancamp
    Milli Vanilli
    Tony Basil
    Olivia Newton John
    Def Leppard
    Hall & Oates
  • [font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 07-11-05 AT 08:02PM (CST)[/font][br][br]I know Don and Pork will be too bashful to admit this but it is rumored that they both had the first Young MC eight track.

    Also, pure speculation, but I bet Rita has seen Springsteen at least twice, one of them at the Stone Pony on the Jersey shore and didn't inhale.

  • I'm starting a fund drive. It's the Beagle-to-Judy fund drive. We have got to get him to quit this insane 2:00 a.m. posting of Harry Chapin lyrics and now Judy has the same affliction, probably transmitted through The Forum. Anyway, back to the fund drive. I'm paying for a room for a week and bus tickets for them both to meet in Sarasota. The wine, shrimp, grapes and cheese are on me. Send your contributions in increments of five bucks to M. Lee Smith and be sure to reference the Judy/Beagle care package drive.

    Disclaimer: This message is not intended to offend or attack. It is posted as personal opinion. If you find yourself offended or uncomfortable, email me and let me know why.
  • I'd be more than happy to accept the trip to Sarasota along with the wine, cheese, shrimp, grapes, (and beagle) but my posting was 2 PM not AM...I don't even have a computer at home and I sure wouldn't be in the office at 2 AM.
  • Here's some more:

    Peter Gabriel
    J Geils Band
    Cyndi Lauper
    Soft Cell
    Dead or Alive

    The great thing about this post, aside from the trip down rock & roll memory lane, is that it gave me new ideas for iTunes downloads. I just got an iPod Shuffle three days ago and I'm totally addicted -- I either need a 12-step program or else a second mortgage to pay my iTunes bill. I'm late to this trend, I realize, but -- WOW -- so much fun!! Plus, there's a healthy upside: I've been exercising twice as much with my portable tunes. SOOO much better (and way less clunky) than my old Walkman.

  • That's great Whirlwind! I'm slow getting on the MP3 players too. Things were never the same after the original blue metal case Walkman.
  • Thanks for that - brought a lot of flashback memories! I've taken the liberty of forwarding it to all the friends I still have contact with from the 80's...
  • Add Men at Work to the list.....
  • I found Huey Lewis & the News
    Bobby McFerrin
    Tina Turner
    Van Halen
    Kenny Loggins
    The Tubes
    The Romantics
    Lionel Ritchie
    Whitney Houston
    Taylor Dane
    Michael McDonald
    Bette Midler
    MC Hammer
    Crowded House
    Elton John
    Jefferson STARSHIP (not airplane
    The Police
    Human League
    Peter Gabriel
    Howard Jones
    Air Supply
    Culture Club
    Thompson Twins

    Lots of pop...does anyone have one of these with some of the silly "hair bands" of the 80's? This is sorta fun.
  • FYI: XM satellite radio has an entire channel devoted to stadium/hair bands. I listen to it when I'm in a certain mood...
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