Some old, some new, but gave me a chuckle
sonny
2,117 Posts
Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the
bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the
hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
On electric toasters, why do they engrave the message 'one
slice'? How many pieces of bread do they think people are really
gonna try to stuff in that slot?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with
their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it,
then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you
first try?
How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?
Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? If
not then what was the purpose of the bath?
Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept
drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's
all right'? It isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt,
you stupid idiot'?
Why is it that when you're walking up the stairs in the dark and
you get to the top you always think there's still one more step?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's
falling off the table you always manage to knock something else
over?
Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a
trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?
In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in
summer when we complained about the heat?
Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?
Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men?
If diamonds are a girl's best friend and a dog is man's best
friend, who really is the dumber sex?
Why are the needy only thought of during the holidays? Aren't
they just as needy throughout the rest of the year?
Why is it that men can react to broken bones as 'just a sprain'
and deep wounds as 'just a scratch', but when they get the
sniffles they are deathly ill 'with the flu' and have to be
bedridden for weeks?
How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?
Why do men forget everything and women remember everything?
Do Chinese people get hungry an hour after they eat American
food?
Shouldn't all married! men forget their mistakes? After all
there's no sense in two people remembering the same things.
Is the real reason women live longer than men because they don't
have to live with women?
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like
your wife told you to?
How important does a person have to be before they are
considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in" .. but it's only a
"penny for your thoughts". Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you
were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it
would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies
wake up like every two hours?
Why are you IN a movie! , but you are ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to
see you naked anyway.
If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just
"chunky dunk." (okay that wasn't a question)
Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but
they can in prison?
If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have
started with something called labor! (another non question)
Why is it that brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat
cells live forever?
bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the
hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
On electric toasters, why do they engrave the message 'one
slice'? How many pieces of bread do they think people are really
gonna try to stuff in that slot?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with
their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it,
then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you
first try?
How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?
Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? If
not then what was the purpose of the bath?
Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept
drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's
all right'? It isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt,
you stupid idiot'?
Why is it that when you're walking up the stairs in the dark and
you get to the top you always think there's still one more step?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's
falling off the table you always manage to knock something else
over?
Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a
trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?
In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in
summer when we complained about the heat?
Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?
Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men?
If diamonds are a girl's best friend and a dog is man's best
friend, who really is the dumber sex?
Why are the needy only thought of during the holidays? Aren't
they just as needy throughout the rest of the year?
Why is it that men can react to broken bones as 'just a sprain'
and deep wounds as 'just a scratch', but when they get the
sniffles they are deathly ill 'with the flu' and have to be
bedridden for weeks?
How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?
Why do men forget everything and women remember everything?
Do Chinese people get hungry an hour after they eat American
food?
Shouldn't all married! men forget their mistakes? After all
there's no sense in two people remembering the same things.
Is the real reason women live longer than men because they don't
have to live with women?
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like
your wife told you to?
How important does a person have to be before they are
considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in" .. but it's only a
"penny for your thoughts". Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you
were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it
would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies
wake up like every two hours?
Why are you IN a movie! , but you are ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to
see you naked anyway.
If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just
"chunky dunk." (okay that wasn't a question)
Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but
they can in prison?
If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have
started with something called labor! (another non question)
Why is it that brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat
cells live forever?
Comments
Diamonds aren't my best friends, my dogs definetly are.
>Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren't we clean when
>we use them? If
>not then what was the purpose of the bath?
>
My family doesn't use bath towels, they seem to think that the rug on the floor is what you use! Just step out of the shower and let the water fall off of yourself so that the next person can step on a wet soggy rug!
>>In winter, why do we try to keep the house as
>warm as it was in
>summer when we complained about the heat?
>
Come to my house - we keep the thermostat at 60 (winter) and 80 (summer)! We have a low utility bill.
That's probably too much information, but oh well.