What She Says and What She Really Means

slogan

I need = I want

We need = I want

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

Do whatever you want = You are going to pay for this later

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I have a severe case of PMS

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house

I want new curtains = I want new curtains, new carpeting, new furniture, new wallpaper...

I need new shoes = the other 40 pairs are simply the wrong shade

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive

How much do you love me? = I maxed out your gold card.

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead

Yes = No

No = No

Maybe = No

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry

I was wrong = Not as wrong as you

Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it

I'm not yelling! = Of course I'm yelling, this is important!

ray a

I refuse to comment in fear that someone will tell my wife on me.

Don D

You didn't number them, but, the old unlucky number 13 is meant for the distinguished lady in Maryland.

System

Sigh. It's about being sensitive. I'm wasting my breath.

marc

These are great, I think they all have this in their handbook - and I know there are some others.

System

You guys think you have us all figured out, eh? There's definitely a communication gap - either we don't say what we really mean OR you don't understand what we say.

ray a

Sam, I understand. Shoes are very important. They make a statement, therefore they must be the exact right color and style. Us men should be very concerned that our women look their best, and shoes is the foundation. How'm I doing?

slogan

Ray, please look back at "Are you listening to me...." It doesn't make any difference. Being a grandfather and therefore a long time married man, you should know this by now. If not, your wife has not trained you right!

Whatever

Ray, I strongly urge you to go back and look at the first response on this thread.

System

You're patronizing me which means 'you're patronizing me! And it's 'we men' not 'us men.'

szemcumo

S MOLL
I thought the same thing (we not us) anyway you would love the new knee high black leather boots I bought last night. A girl can never have enough boots!!!

HRinNH

Hey Sam, give up. Sensitivity is a word in few men's vocabulary...

but Ray, good try.

slogan

@.

ray a

No, Whatever was right. I should have heeded what I said in my first post. (Don't you hate it when a liberal is right?) Anything else I say will just make the hole deeper.

lhill

It's OK, guys. We can take a little ribbing. You know you still think there's nothing like having a woman in your life! (Don't you?)

ray a

lhill, yeah... sure... whatever you say. And if the Little Woman wants/needs a new pair of shoes, that's just was us men will get them. I said *us men* but you literate ladies (and Don) will understand that to mean *we men*.

Whatever

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 01-19-05 AT 08:37AM (CST)[/font][br][br]1. First of all, a liberal can never be right. We can be perfect, we can have all the correct beliefs, we can be left but we are never right.
8-}

2. I am not only liberal in my political views but also in my shoe purchasing philosophy.

slogan

So, Whatever, does that give life to Nancy Sinatra's word, "...these boots are gonna walk all over you"?