Using the Math I Learned in School
Parabeagle
3,085 Posts
Why Math is Taught in School(Written By A Very Wise Man)
I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and "flipped" the woman off. "Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and I drive 48 miles each way every day to work. That's 96 miles each day. Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8-lane highway. There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars. Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper,
I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day. Statistically, females drive half of these. That's 18,000 women drivers! In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS. That's 642. According to Cosmopolitan Magazine, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98. And 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33. According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons, and this number is increasing. That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least ONE female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed. Flip one off? ...... I think not.
I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and "flipped" the woman off. "Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and I drive 48 miles each way every day to work. That's 96 miles each day. Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8-lane highway. There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars. Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper,
I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day. Statistically, females drive half of these. That's 18,000 women drivers! In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS. That's 642. According to Cosmopolitan Magazine, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98. And 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33. According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons, and this number is increasing. That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least ONE female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed. Flip one off? ...... I think not.
Comments
According to "the man that is my biggest problem" he says I have PMS 364 days a year and sometimes 365. He's the reason I'm homicidal and if he'd just clean up after himself and maybe a pet or two and hey lets try even doing some laundry...I wouldn't be so damn tired and fall asleep before the sun goes down, my love life would then drastically improve.
Does anyone else see a pattern here?
Flip me off, I dare ya!
2004 is coming to an end...I'm working on 365 maybe 2005 will be better!
"Girls need beauty a lot more than brains because guys can see a lot better than they can think."
Parabeagle is trying to think again!
No wonder my head hurts. Ow!
Love that Irish proverb, so very true!
I cannot remember one time when a female driver gave me the "bird". But you guys find it amusing. Tell me, does it make you feel better as you drive away?