Why did the chicken cross the road?
jmcaa
224 Posts
George Bush's Answer:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just
want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken
is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
John Kerry's Answer:
While serving in Vietnam, I was in favor of the chicken crossing
the road. Then later I realized that there were those who needed the
chicken on this side of the road. Now I would like to see the chicken on the
other side of the road, unless of course it would be better served to be on
this side of the road. Ideally, I think the chicken should be in the middle of
the road.
Bill Gates' Answer:
I have just released eChicken 2004, which will not only cross
roads,but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
Martha Stewart's Answer:
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had
a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
Dr. Seuss' Answer:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!
Ernest Hemingway's Answer:
To die. In the rain. Alone.
Grandpa's Answer:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for
us.
Barbara Walters' Answer:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to
the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how
it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish
its life-long dream of crossing the road.
Ralph Nader's Answer:
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been
polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the
unspoiled habitat on other side of the road because it was crushed by the
wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
Jerry Seinfield's Answer:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever
think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the
place anyway?"
Pat Buchanan's Answer:
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
Jerry Falwell's Answer:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people
see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the
"other side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my
friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become
gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination
that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like
"the other side."
Aristotle's Answer:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
Saddam Hussein's Answer:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Captain Kirk's Answer:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Bill Clinton's Answer
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
chicken? Could you define chicken, please?
Albert Einstein's Answer:
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move
beneath the chicken?
Sigmund Freud's Answer:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed
the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
L.A.P.D.'s Answer:
Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
Richard Nixon's Answer:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did
not cross the road.
Buddha's Answer:
If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.
Joseph Stalin's Answer:
I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelet.
The Pope's Answer:
That is only for God to know.
Emily Dickenson's Answer:
Because it could not stop for death.
O.J. Simpson's Answer:
It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time
Comments
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Accenture, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Accenture helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Accenture convened diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chicken practices along with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Accenture helped the chicken change to become more successful.
#1 thing a consultant shouldn't say: "I could tell you the answer right now, but we're committed to a three month project..." #-o