AMERICANS W/NO ABILITIES ACT
Don D
9,834 Posts
(Credit for this one goes to Kent in TN)
AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT PASSES CONGRESS
May 23, 2005
WASHINGTON, DC (AP) - Congress approved sweeping legislation, which
provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No
Abilities Act (AWNAA), signed into law by President John Kerry shortly
after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory by advocates of
the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.
"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive
necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,"
said Kerry, a longtime AWNA supporter.
"This is why many of them voted for me. We can no longer stand by and
allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this
legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors
to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or
have some idea of what they are doing", said Kerry.
President Kerry pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which
has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to
performance. Approximately 80 percent of postal employees lack job
skills, making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of
Inability.
Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against
the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%),and
home improvement "warehouse" stores (65%).
President Kerry has also set an example, personally selecting hundreds
of Nonabled people for top government positions, including many
cabinet-level jobs.
Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle
man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but
little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose
and performance.
Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to
guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The
legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which
maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in top positions,
and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to
hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.
Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult
to discriminate against the Nonabled, banning discriminatory interview
questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you
have any skills or experience which relate to this job?" and "Are you
awake?"
"As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who
have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her
position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her
lack of notable job skills.
"This new law should really help people like me."
With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented
citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Said Kerry, "It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every
American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of
space to take up in this great nation."
AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT PASSES CONGRESS
May 23, 2005
WASHINGTON, DC (AP) - Congress approved sweeping legislation, which
provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No
Abilities Act (AWNAA), signed into law by President John Kerry shortly
after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory by advocates of
the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.
"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive
necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,"
said Kerry, a longtime AWNA supporter.
"This is why many of them voted for me. We can no longer stand by and
allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this
legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors
to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or
have some idea of what they are doing", said Kerry.
President Kerry pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which
has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to
performance. Approximately 80 percent of postal employees lack job
skills, making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of
Inability.
Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against
the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%),and
home improvement "warehouse" stores (65%).
President Kerry has also set an example, personally selecting hundreds
of Nonabled people for top government positions, including many
cabinet-level jobs.
Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle
man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but
little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose
and performance.
Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to
guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The
legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which
maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in top positions,
and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to
hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.
Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult
to discriminate against the Nonabled, banning discriminatory interview
questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you
have any skills or experience which relate to this job?" and "Are you
awake?"
"As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who
have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her
position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her
lack of notable job skills.
"This new law should really help people like me."
With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented
citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Said Kerry, "It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every
American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of
space to take up in this great nation."
Comments
>President Kerry pointed to the success of the US
>Postal Service, which
>has a long-standing policy of providing
>opportunity without regard to
>performance. Approximately 80 percent of postal
>employees lack job
>skills, making this agency the single largest US
>employer of Persons of
>Inability.
>
One word for why the post office does that-
"UNION"x}>
No one can ever get fired from the post office. Once they check in they can never check out. They have to die first.x}>
Case in Point: He has a substitute who is supposed to work for him every other Saturday. Twice she has failed to call or show up for work. Once someone else at the PO was available to work her route; the other time my brother was called in to work the route. Numerous complaints about her tearing off the doors to mailboxes when she failed to put them back up after delivering mail. No one "saw" her do this, but mysteriously white paint appeared on her bungundy car just at the point where the mailbox door would catch it.
Comment from the postmaster: "She's a minority". Duh...when does this excuse incompetence?
I resent that!
The incompetence is on the part of the postmaster -- who would make such a ridiculous observation as a reason not to do a job properly.
>minority". Duh...when does this excuse
>incompetence?"
>
>I resent that!
>
>The incompetence is on the part of the
>postmaster -- who would make such a ridiculous
>observation as a reason not to do a job
>properly.
Yeah, I believe this is who I was referring to.