Groaners...
JudyT929
509 Posts
A sea mammal research group captured a rather odd porpoise on one of its expeditions. Its peculiarity was that it had feet. After they had photographed and measured the poor thing, they prepared to set it free.
"Wait a minute," said one of the researchers, "Wouldn't it be a kindness if our ship's doctor were to amputate the feet so that it would be like other porpoises?"
"Not on your life," exclaimed the doctor, "That would be defeeting the porpoise."
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There was this guy who had a girlfriend named Lorraine who was very pretty and he liked her a lot. One day he went to work and found that a new girl had started working with him at his office. Her name,oddly,was Clearly and she was absolutely gorgeous. He became quite smitten with her and after a while it became obvious that she was very interested in him too.
But this guy was a loyal man and he wouldn't do anything with the new girl while he was still going out with his girlfriend. He decided that there was nothing left to do but to break up with Lorraine and get on with Clearly.
He planned several times to tell Lorraine but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Then one day they went for a walk along the riverbank, and Lorraine slipped and fell into the river. The current carried her off and she drowned The guy stopped for a moment by the river and then ran off smiling and singing ands miling and singing.
What was he singing, you ask??? get ready, it's good...
Can't you see it coming?
I can see Clearly now .... Lorraine is gone.."
"Wait a minute," said one of the researchers, "Wouldn't it be a kindness if our ship's doctor were to amputate the feet so that it would be like other porpoises?"
"Not on your life," exclaimed the doctor, "That would be defeeting the porpoise."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
There was this guy who had a girlfriend named Lorraine who was very pretty and he liked her a lot. One day he went to work and found that a new girl had started working with him at his office. Her name,oddly,was Clearly and she was absolutely gorgeous. He became quite smitten with her and after a while it became obvious that she was very interested in him too.
But this guy was a loyal man and he wouldn't do anything with the new girl while he was still going out with his girlfriend. He decided that there was nothing left to do but to break up with Lorraine and get on with Clearly.
He planned several times to tell Lorraine but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Then one day they went for a walk along the riverbank, and Lorraine slipped and fell into the river. The current carried her off and she drowned The guy stopped for a moment by the river and then ran off smiling and singing ands miling and singing.
What was he singing, you ask??? get ready, it's good...
Can't you see it coming?
I can see Clearly now .... Lorraine is gone.."
Comments
True story: Driving home from work several years ago during rush hour when the news traffic helicopter reported that a semi was blocking 2 lanes of the Fremont bridge because its left front wheel came off. The traffic reporter wondered aloud, "I suspect the driver is now singing 'You picked a fine time to leave me, loose wheel.'"
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Kind of like Bogart never said "play it again sam"