Kids say the funniest things
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Subject: KIDS DISCUSS .
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
( 1 ) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10
( 2 ) No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kirsten, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
( 1 ) Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10
( 2 ) No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
-- Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
1 ) You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
( 1 ) Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
( 1 ) Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)
( 2 ) On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
( 1 ) I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-- Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
( 1 ) When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7
( 2 ) The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
-- Curt, age 7
( 3 ) The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard, age 8
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
( 1 ) I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm never going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out.
-- Theodore, age 8
( 2 ) It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
( 1 ) There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
( 1 ) Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
(Now i think this kid has it all figured out already)
-- Ricky, age 10
"What I learned in Hebrew School and what I learned in Catechism."
These are written by children and have not been retouched or corrected, poor spelling and all!
> >
1. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.
> >
2. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten amendments.
> >
3. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
> >
4. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
> >
5. Moses died before he ever reached Canada.
> >
6. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
> >
7. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
> >
8. Soloman, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
> >
9. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
> >
10. Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you.
> >
11. It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
> >
12. The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
> >
13. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
> >
14. Most religions teach us to have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
( 1 ) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10
( 2 ) No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kirsten, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
( 1 ) Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10
( 2 ) No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
-- Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
1 ) You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
( 1 ) Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
( 1 ) Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)
( 2 ) On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
( 1 ) I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-- Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
( 1 ) When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7
( 2 ) The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
-- Curt, age 7
( 3 ) The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard, age 8
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
( 1 ) I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm never going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out.
-- Theodore, age 8
( 2 ) It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
( 1 ) There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
( 1 ) Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
(Now i think this kid has it all figured out already)
-- Ricky, age 10
"What I learned in Hebrew School and what I learned in Catechism."
These are written by children and have not been retouched or corrected, poor spelling and all!
> >
1. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.
> >
2. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten amendments.
> >
3. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
> >
4. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
> >
5. Moses died before he ever reached Canada.
> >
6. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
> >
7. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
> >
8. Soloman, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
> >
9. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
> >
10. Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you.
> >
11. It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
> >
12. The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
> >
13. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
> >
14. Most religions teach us to have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
Comments
-- Howard, age 8
So that's where I went wrong...! x:*
-- Alan, age 10
Alan needs some coaching to get it right: DON'T FORGET THE BEER ALAN, she needs to bring the beer too!!!!
Gotta love that kid.
Too funny. Thanks for the chuckle