For Your Sanity
Don D
9,834 Posts
1. AT LUNCH TIME, SIT IN YOUR PARKED CAR WITH SUNGLASSES ON AND POINT A HAIR DRYER AT PASSING CARS. SEE IF THEY SLOW DOWN.
2. PAGE YOURSELF OVER THE INTERCOM, DON'T DISGUISE YOUR VOICE. (Ritaanz does this daily).
3. EVERY TIME SOMEONE ASKS YOU TO DO SOMETHING, ASK IF THEY WANT THAT
SUPER SIZED
4. PUT YOUR GARBAGE CAN ON YOUR DESK AND LABEL IT "IN."
5. PUT DECAF IN THE COFFEE MAKER FOR 3 WEEKS. ONCE EVERYONE HAS GOTTEN OVER THEIR CAFFEINE ADDICTIONS, SWITCH TO ESPRESSO.
6. IN THE MEMO FIELD OF ALL YOUR CHECKS, WRITE "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS."
7. FINISH ALL YOUR SENTENCES WITH "IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROPHECY."
8. DON'T USE PUNCTUATION.
9. AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE, SKIP RATHER THAN WALK.
10. ASK PEOPLE WHAT GENDER THEY ARE.
11. SPECIFY THAT YOUR DRIVE-THROUGH ORDER IS "TO GO."
12. SING ALONG AT THE OPERA.
13. GO TO A POETRY RECITAL AND ASK WHY THE POEMS DON'T RHYME.
14. PUT MOSQUITO NETTING AROUND YOUR WORK AREA and PLAY A TAPE OF JUNGLE
SOUNDS ALL DAY.
15. FIVE DAYS IN ADVANCE, TELL YOUR FRIENDS YOU CAN'T ATTEND THEIR PARTY
BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT IN THE MOOD.
16. HAVE YOUR COWORKERS ADDRESS YOU BY YOUR WRESTLING NAME, ROCK HARD. (Ray A. Does this)
17. WHEN THE MONEY COMES OUT OF THE ATM, SCREAM "I WON, I WON! 3RD TIME
THIS WEEK!!!!!"
18. WHEN LEAVING THE ZOO, START RUNNING TOWARDS THE PARKING LOT, YELLING "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, THEY'RE LOOSE!!"
19. TELL YOUR CHILDREN OVER DINNER, "DUE TO THE ECONOMY, WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO LET ONE OF YOU GO." (Haven't we all thought of this one?)
2. PAGE YOURSELF OVER THE INTERCOM, DON'T DISGUISE YOUR VOICE. (Ritaanz does this daily).
3. EVERY TIME SOMEONE ASKS YOU TO DO SOMETHING, ASK IF THEY WANT THAT
SUPER SIZED
4. PUT YOUR GARBAGE CAN ON YOUR DESK AND LABEL IT "IN."
5. PUT DECAF IN THE COFFEE MAKER FOR 3 WEEKS. ONCE EVERYONE HAS GOTTEN OVER THEIR CAFFEINE ADDICTIONS, SWITCH TO ESPRESSO.
6. IN THE MEMO FIELD OF ALL YOUR CHECKS, WRITE "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS."
7. FINISH ALL YOUR SENTENCES WITH "IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROPHECY."
8. DON'T USE PUNCTUATION.
9. AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE, SKIP RATHER THAN WALK.
10. ASK PEOPLE WHAT GENDER THEY ARE.
11. SPECIFY THAT YOUR DRIVE-THROUGH ORDER IS "TO GO."
12. SING ALONG AT THE OPERA.
13. GO TO A POETRY RECITAL AND ASK WHY THE POEMS DON'T RHYME.
14. PUT MOSQUITO NETTING AROUND YOUR WORK AREA and PLAY A TAPE OF JUNGLE
SOUNDS ALL DAY.
15. FIVE DAYS IN ADVANCE, TELL YOUR FRIENDS YOU CAN'T ATTEND THEIR PARTY
BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT IN THE MOOD.
16. HAVE YOUR COWORKERS ADDRESS YOU BY YOUR WRESTLING NAME, ROCK HARD. (Ray A. Does this)
17. WHEN THE MONEY COMES OUT OF THE ATM, SCREAM "I WON, I WON! 3RD TIME
THIS WEEK!!!!!"
18. WHEN LEAVING THE ZOO, START RUNNING TOWARDS THE PARKING LOT, YELLING "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, THEY'RE LOOSE!!"
19. TELL YOUR CHILDREN OVER DINNER, "DUE TO THE ECONOMY, WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO LET ONE OF YOU GO." (Haven't we all thought of this one?)
Comments
What about the container you have in your office labled "Ashes of a disgruntled employee"?