Biblical Resumes
Don D
9,834 Posts
Here's a new take on background investigations.
Jesus, Son of Joseph
Woodcrafters Carpenter Shop
Nazareth 25922
FROM:
Jordan Management Consultants
Jerusalem 26544
Dear Sir:
Thank you for submitting the resumes of the twelve men you have picked for management positions in your new organization. All of them have now taken our battery of tests; and we have not only run the results through our computer, but
also arranged personal interviews for each of them with our psychologist and vocational aptitude consultant. The profiles of all tests are included, and you will want to study each of them.
As part of our service and for your guidance, we make some general comment, much as an auditor will include some general statements. This is given as a result of staff consultation and comes without any additional fee.
It is the staff opinion that most of your nominees are lacking in background,education and vocational aptitude for the type of enterprise you are undertaking. They do not have the team concept. We would recommend that you continue
your search for persons of experience in managerial ability and proven capability.
- Simon Peter is emotionally unstable and given to fits of temper.
- Andrew has absolutely no qualities of leadership.
- The two brothers, James and John, the sons of Zebedee, place personal interest above company loyalty.
- Thomas demonstrates a questioning attitude that would tend to undermine morale.
- We feel that it is our duty to tell you that Matthew has been blacklisted by the Greater Jerusalem Better Business Bureau.
- James, son of Alphaeus, and Thaddeus definitely have radical leanings and they both registered a high score on the manic-depressive scale.
One of the candidates, however, shows great potential. He is a man of great ability and resourcefulness, interacts with people well, has a keen business mind and has contacts in high places. He is highly motivated, ambitious and
responsible. We recommend Judas Iscariot as your controller and right-hand man.
All of the other profiles are self-explanatory.
We wish you every success in your new venture.
Sincerely yours,
Jordan Management Consultants
Jesus, Son of Joseph
Woodcrafters Carpenter Shop
Nazareth 25922
FROM:
Jordan Management Consultants
Jerusalem 26544
Dear Sir:
Thank you for submitting the resumes of the twelve men you have picked for management positions in your new organization. All of them have now taken our battery of tests; and we have not only run the results through our computer, but
also arranged personal interviews for each of them with our psychologist and vocational aptitude consultant. The profiles of all tests are included, and you will want to study each of them.
As part of our service and for your guidance, we make some general comment, much as an auditor will include some general statements. This is given as a result of staff consultation and comes without any additional fee.
It is the staff opinion that most of your nominees are lacking in background,education and vocational aptitude for the type of enterprise you are undertaking. They do not have the team concept. We would recommend that you continue
your search for persons of experience in managerial ability and proven capability.
- Simon Peter is emotionally unstable and given to fits of temper.
- Andrew has absolutely no qualities of leadership.
- The two brothers, James and John, the sons of Zebedee, place personal interest above company loyalty.
- Thomas demonstrates a questioning attitude that would tend to undermine morale.
- We feel that it is our duty to tell you that Matthew has been blacklisted by the Greater Jerusalem Better Business Bureau.
- James, son of Alphaeus, and Thaddeus definitely have radical leanings and they both registered a high score on the manic-depressive scale.
One of the candidates, however, shows great potential. He is a man of great ability and resourcefulness, interacts with people well, has a keen business mind and has contacts in high places. He is highly motivated, ambitious and
responsible. We recommend Judas Iscariot as your controller and right-hand man.
All of the other profiles are self-explanatory.
We wish you every success in your new venture.
Sincerely yours,
Jordan Management Consultants
Comments
As usual Don, you enlightened me. I did not know all the names of the 12 men.