Ode to Florida
Nicole
87 Posts
I see HS posted one on NJ so here is one on Florida!
Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
There are 5,000 types of snakes in the world and 4,998 live in Florida.
There are 10,000 types of spiders in the world and, all 10,000 live in Florida, plus a couple no one has seen before.
Possums will eat anything.
Onced and Twiced are words.
It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
Coldbeer is one word.
Fix'nto is one word.
There ain't no such thing as "lunch". There's only dinner and then there's supper.
Sweet tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two.
'Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat".
You know you're from FLORIDA if....
1. You measure distance in minutes.
2. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
3. Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.
4. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in
it, no matter what time of the year.
5. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store.
6. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car ... for your OWN car.
9. You know what "cow tipping" is.
10. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
11. The local paper covers national and international news on one page
but requires 6 pages for local gossip and sports.
12. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
13. You find 100 degrees F "a little warm."
14. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and
Christmas.
15. Going to Walmart is a favorite past-time known as "goin wal-martin"
or off to "Wally World."
16. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good gumbo
weather.
17. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop ... it's a Coke,
regardless of brand or flavor.
Example: "What kinda coke you want?"
18. You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends from Florida. Or post them on the HRHero message boards x;-)
Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
There are 5,000 types of snakes in the world and 4,998 live in Florida.
There are 10,000 types of spiders in the world and, all 10,000 live in Florida, plus a couple no one has seen before.
Possums will eat anything.
Onced and Twiced are words.
It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
Coldbeer is one word.
Fix'nto is one word.
There ain't no such thing as "lunch". There's only dinner and then there's supper.
Sweet tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two.
'Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat".
You know you're from FLORIDA if....
1. You measure distance in minutes.
2. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
3. Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.
4. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in
it, no matter what time of the year.
5. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store.
6. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car ... for your OWN car.
9. You know what "cow tipping" is.
10. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
11. The local paper covers national and international news on one page
but requires 6 pages for local gossip and sports.
12. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
13. You find 100 degrees F "a little warm."
14. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and
Christmas.
15. Going to Walmart is a favorite past-time known as "goin wal-martin"
or off to "Wally World."
16. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good gumbo
weather.
17. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop ... it's a Coke,
regardless of brand or flavor.
Example: "What kinda coke you want?"
18. You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends from Florida. Or post them on the HRHero message boards x;-)
Comments
>only dinner and then there's supper.
When I was going through boot camp in southern Texas this rule applied as well. Confused the heck out of me as to why I was having "dinner" at lunch time.
Cow tipping in Florida?
1. There are so many retirees that your city is known as "God's waiting room."
2. People move here from up North just so they can complain about all the things that are different.
3. You're surrounded by the ocean but there's always a water shortage.
4. You have a neighbor who paved his entire yard in concrete. And you think it looks pretty good.
5. In the fall, you ask a friend up North to mail you some leaves so you can see what they look like when they change color.
6. The highest elevation in your county is a highway overpass.
7. People still talk about the day it snowed 20 years ago.
James Sokolowski
HRhero.com
Much of Nicoles really doesn't fit my part of North Florida either. I think Florida has become pretty divided/regionalized.. sort of like the upstate down state NY forumites banter.
Around here:
# 11 and the "mullet wrapper" also has 6 pages devoted to religion
# 17 soda
#10 no tobasco, but wouldn't be caught dead without Datil pepper
etc.
Snakes, fireants fit.. currently have a real cute Armadillo making a mess of my yard!