Life's Lessons Learned

Parabeagle

I've Learned......

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've l earned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses.

I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

I've learned that it is not what you wear, it is how you take it off.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.

I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.

I've learned that ex's are like fungus, and keep coming back.

I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it.

I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the ass are permanent.

HRQ

>I've learned that 99% of the time when something
>isn't working in your house, one of your kids
>did it.

I recently found three matchbox cars and two pens in the tape slot of the VCR. It still worked, but I'm pretty sure I know who put them there.

Parabeagle

At least it wasn't a grilled cheese sandwich or something like that.

HRQ

Let's not give them any ideas.

During a recent visit, my Dad pulled the old "put the ball in my ear and pull it out of AJ's ear" trick. Fortunately he used a wiffle ball and not a marble. AJ still trys to shove that wiffle ball in his ear.

marc

You must be either way older than I am or way smarter (or both?), because I have not learned nearly enough of these lessons yet, even though I have paid that high age price.#-o

Don D

When I was little, my mother would 'pull' candy-corn out of my ear. I never could figure out how she did that. Today she's in her 80s and occasionally will still do that when we have her over. I humor her. But, I still can't figure it out. HRQ; your husband is trying his best to send you a message. He's tired of playing third fiddle, fourth counting the Forum, so he sticks stuff in the VCR for the sake of attention. The man needs attention. Just be grateful he still sticks it in the household VCR. He could be sticking it in the neighbor lady's VCR.

HRQ

Actually, Captain Sarcastic, I'm quite sure my children stuck stuff in the VCR because I was attempting to spend a few moments with my husband and didn't supervise the little ones closely enough.

So there.

pppbbbbbffffftttt. x:P

Cinderella

The one about the blankets reminds me how even though my cats are only 9 and 7 pounds they can push me out of my bed and practically onto the floor with their nightly HOGGING. Sheesh.

mwild31

In addition to your list:

I've learned you should always leave loved ones with loving words. You may need to borrow money.

I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones who do.

I've learned that maturity is a magazine for old people.

and finally,

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.

x:-)

Parabeagle

>I've learned that regardless of how hot and
>steamy a relationship is at first, the passion
>fades, and there had better be a lot of money to
>take its place.
>
>x:-)

Sheesh! And I thought I was cynical! x;-)