Don't Underestimate The Little Woman

Don D

A married couple is driving along the highway at a steady clip of forty miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. the husband suddenly looks across at her and says, "Darling, I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."

The wife says nothing, keeps looking straight ahead, but slowly increases her speed to 45 mph. the husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out if it, because I've been having an affiar with your best friend, and she's a far better lover than you are."

Again, the wife says nothing, but grips the wheel more tightly and increases the speed to 55. He pushes his luck. "I want the house". She increases the speed to 60. "The car too". Up to 65. "And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts and all the credit cards, and the boat." The car starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge abutment. This makes him a wee bit nervous, so he asks her, "Isn't there anything you want?"

The wife, at last, replies, in a quiet and controlled voice. "No, I've got everything I need." "Oh, really?" he inquires, "So what have you got?" Just before they slam into the pillar at 75 mph, the wife turns to him and says, "The airbag".

rad

Well, as they say, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. And in relation to your FMLA post, if she's got PMS she's got a defense x;-)

Whatever

I had a neighbor whose husband came home one day and asked for divorced because he had fallen in love with a much younger woman. He told his wife that he would give her alimony, child support, the house (and he would pay for the mortgage). Anything she wanted, he would try to give her. She told him she only wanted one thing, that he have custody of their five children. They never divorced.

ray a

"Little Woman"???? Don, I'm shocked you would use such a politically incorrect term. I would never do that.

Parabeagle

I think Don must have read Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked Man by Tim Allen. x;-)

Don D

An affectionate term of endearment, you two. The point of the joke is not the title of the post. Get someone down the hall to read the joke to you and explain it Ray/Beagle.

ray a

Don, I'm just jealous. When I used the term "Little Woman", I was flamed within 5 minutes. It's been 2 hours and you are getting a free ride.

rad

You can call me a little woman, I would be so flattered. I'm a woman, so thats ok, and little, well, no woman wants to be called BIG!

ray a

I hope Mjindra reads this thread. She's the one who ripped me. x:D

mjindra

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 11-13-03 AT 12:51PM (CST)[/font][br][br]Hey ray, I read the post hours ago. And I smiled.

Clever post Don. x;)

Rockie

>I think Don must have read Don't Stand Too Close
>to a Naked Man by Tim Allen. x;-)

"I don't think so...Beagle"

Leslie

Now why didn't I think of that oh these many years ago x;-)?

Parabeagle

That's funny, Rockie. You don't look like Al Borlund x;-)

ray a

Do you think Rockie wears plaid shirts?

Parabeagle

I don't think so, Ray.

Don D

I think I'll fold my napkin and ask to be excused. I don't understand the conversation.

ray a

Tim Allen, Tool Time, Al Borlund? Don't you ever watch the uplifting, educational TV?

Parabeagle

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 11-13-03 AT 03:29PM (CST)[/font][br][br]If so, it was probably on PBS. x;-)

ray a

Well, Tool Time was a mythical PBS program.

Parabeagle

Nothing mystical about the program, Ray. Still having trouble talking around that new retainer, huh? x;-)

ray a

I was doing Elmer Fudd impersonation. But just for clarity: allegorical, chimerical, created, fabled, fabricated, fabulous, fairy-tale, false, fanciful, fantasy, fictitious, fictive, folkloric, imaginary, invented, legendary, made-up, mythic, mythological, nonexistent, pretended, storied, supposititious, traditional, unreal, untrue, visionary, whimsical.

Don D

I'll have to admit....Parabeagle finally cracked me up!!

Parabeagle

Thanks, Don, I'm flattered. x:-) Sometimes even a blind hog can find an acorn.

HRQ

I have spent my entire day toiling at the pile(s) on my desk, making a conscious effort to ignore the Forum so I can accomplish SOMETHING for once. So, I pop in this evening to check on you folks and find myself just smiling and shaking my head. I almost have more fun reading the banter than I do the jokes! x:D

ray a

What jokes? Did somebody tell a joke?

Don D

[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON 11-14-03 AT 09:17PM (CST)[/font][br][br]Well, Parabeagle, you certainly found one today!!